royalblue6 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Hey everyone, I broke up with my SO of almost 3 years (2 and a half to be exact) about 9 months ago and have finally moved on. I have realized so many things about our relationship and him that made me realize that we are much much better apart, and honestly the last 6 months, I have felt the so much more happiness and contentment than I've ever experienced my whole life (except for a few sad/missing the ex days). Moreover, I've discovered so much more about myself and what I really want out of life, etc. But there still a few things I am concerned about. Firstly, I still think about him everyday, not in a missing or nostalgia sort of way. I don't really feel any emotion towards any of the thoughts, but him and his face are always at the back of my mind and I don't understand why. I don't believe I have any romantic feelings towards him, and I never want to have anything to do with him again. We were each other's first serious relationship, and mistook our co-dependency as "love". We were so dependent that we actually texted each other from the time we'd wake up until we'd go to bed. No matter if we were at work or at school. During the time we were dating, we didn't go even one day without talking. This is how I know that we only "loved" the other person for how they made us feel, not for who they were. We were in "love" because the other person was our security blanket against being lonely, and various other insecurities. I realized that around five weeks ago and its been so much easier to move on after that. That was also when I stopped obsessively checking his profile on social networking sites and got rid of all the pictures and letters. The few expensive gifts that I kept don't remind me of him at all and don't make me upset like they used to. So then why am I still thinking about him? It is really frustrating. Another thing is, I've come across many people who have claimed that moving on from their first serious relationship was very hard, sometimes even the hardest thing they've had to do. During the first 6 or 7 months, I felt this way too but now, when I look back at the last 9 months, I don't feel like moving on was that hard. If someone were to ask me what the most emotionally hardest thing I had to experience was, this break up would not be my answer. This isn't because I've experienced something extremely traumatic or anything like that either. Is that normal to feel? Sorry for rambling on so much, I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you so much
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