rabth5 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Alright, my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me a couple weeks ago and i'm desperately seeking advice. Advice from third parties that aren't so much concerned with trying to make things better instantly. We met through mutual friends and things really just progressed naturally. We share so many common interests and are essentially the same person just opposite gender. I would say we had a great relationship. We were always open with each other, of course naturally we would each do something that would annoy the other and argue a bit but never anything crazy and it was generally resolved within a few minutes. Anyway,we're both students and it was towards the last few days of school before summer. He was staying in Columbia and I was going home to St. Louis. Not that far, 2 hours tops. I went over to hang out with him one day and everything was just fine. Nothing out of the ordinary and then I brought up summer and things started to go downhill. He said that he didn't know if he could go from seeing me everyday to not at all. That he'd done the long-distance the past summer and things went horribly and that he didn't want that to happen to us. I was clearly visibly upset and he said he didn't want me to be and that he wanted me to be happy. He asked what I thought and I told him that I cared about him so much and that distance meant nothing to me. Of course it wouldn't be easy. He said he just didn't know what to do and was confused, blah, blah, blah. We sat in silence for a while and I had to work so I told him think about things and we'd talk later. When we'd both gathered our thoughts. Later that night we talked again. This time he was saying that he didn't know if we were meant to be. That if we stayed together until we graduated he'd probably lose me and anyone else he was connected with anyway. Because he plans to go somewhere for grad school. He said he had some doubts about us and where we were going, that we weren't progressing. The thing is that that is completely untrue. He'd introduced me to his mother and grandmother in January. We bought tickets to go to Bonnaroo together in February, and he agreed to come home with me to meet not just my parents but my mom's entire side of family for Easter. I gave him every opportunity to not go yet he insisted he would like to. Not to mention how often we talked about Bonnaroo, I mean 2 days before the break up we were figuring out what bands we had to see, what we'd bring, planning things out, etc. Not to mention all the talk of what plans we'd make for the upcoming semester. My problem is that nothing was out of the ordinary until I mentioned summer. He was no less affectionate, no less attentive, we were still getting along great. He just completely blindsided me. I think of myself as an incredibly intuitive person, and i'm certainly not blind or naive. I can tell when things are changing, when people are feeling differently. We never said the words "i love you" but I certainly felt it from him. He even said he didn't want to break up/lose me but didn't know if we should stay together either. So, I'm wondering if maybe there could still be something. That maybe he will realize he made a mistake. I am doing my best to move on and put my mind to other things. I signed up for some half marathons and what not and am focusing on me. But I can't help but feel like there is still, possibly, some hope.
Philosoraptor Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 It sounds like he is done and using the summer as a convenient excuse. I can't say for sure but you're still young and in school and he might have an urge to see what else is out there.
Author rabth5 Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 I realize that that could very well be the case. But he still wants to remain in contact/says he's always there if I need him and what not. And I totally get that that could just be for his own selfish reasons. But at the same time he didn't even want to say that it was over forever. Done, no more contact ever, no chance of reconciliation. But he said there was. However I do realize that I need to at least focus on me for the mean time and if it was meant to be it'll be. It's just hard not to think there is at least a shred of hope. I suppose the fact that it is so fresh doesn't help either.
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