Content Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 CHARISMA Problem is for one i think its something you have to be born with and two its not easily defineable But Men who are charismatic usually have a large supply of women to choose from,women want to be ENTERTAINED above all if you can make them laugh and keep them engaged theyre putty in your hands I know dudes who i dont trust at all and arent great guys but in terms of conversation they know how to engage people and keep them captivated especially women so even though thye might be scum theyre engaging entertaining scum and for women in the begning stages thats enough to keep thme interested and attracted for at least a little while AS i said though i dont think its a learnable trait,i think you can learn to become more sociabke if youre socially awkward but i dotn think you can be charismatic and draw people at the highest level to you if youre not born with it 4
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Look, I'm gonna tell you guys who can't get women some good advice: stop trying to get women and try to get one (or a few) women to love you for you. If you can get one chick to be devoted to you, who cares if every other chick on the planet isn't? If you're a great guy, it's their loss, not your loss. 7
somedude81 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Yeah, as a guy with a complete lack of charisma, I agree with this thread. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 There is one thing I disagree with: It absolutely CAN be learned. 7
Badsingularity Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I second what TW said. It absolutely can be learned. It requires pushing through your comfort zones, a lot of social interaction, learning how women( and people in general) react to certain behaviours, developement of a strong sense of self, confidence, and social fearlessness. Not easy, but it can be learned. 3
oranged Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 CHARISMA Problem is for one i think its something you have to be born with and two its not easily defineable But Men who are charismatic usually have a large supply of women to choose from,women want to be ENTERTAINED above all if you can make them laugh and keep them engaged theyre putty in your hands I know dudes who i dont trust at all and arent great guys but in terms of conversation they know how to engage people and keep them captivated especially women so even though thye might be scum theyre engaging entertaining scum and for women in the begning stages thats enough to keep thme interested and attracted for at least a little while AS i said though i dont think its a learnable trait,i think you can learn to become more sociabke if youre socially awkward but i dotn think you can be charismatic and draw people at the highest level to you if youre not born with it i don't have it. i have the opposite and i've failed.
oranged Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Look, I'm gonna tell you guys who can't get women some good advice: stop trying to get women and try to get one (or a few) women to love you for you. If you can get one chick to be devoted to you, who cares if every other chick on the planet isn't? If you're a great guy, it's their loss, not your loss. i've gone 41 years and can't even get one.
Teknoe Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Yes, charisma is king. A couple weeks ago I was at a Bible study with my group. We split up into 3s and I ended up with two attractive ladies. I fielded a phone call which was my sub coordinator asking if I can sub tomorrow. When I came back the ladies asked me who called. me: I got a sub job tomorrow them: cool! Hey, how do you decide when more than one calls you? me: I'm used to it, after all, the ladies can't stop calling I said it with just the right tone, facial expression and confidence. Not too cocky, but charming and tongue-in-cheek almost They were laughing and looking at me differently, almost with a twinkle in their eyes. Really, it's all about how you carry yourself. Do you speak confidentally? Do you have quick wit? Girls love that, universally. And yes, I agree with TW that it can totally be learned. Not easy, but worth learning. How to learn? Two recommendations that helped me: 1. Public speaking classes 2. Acting classes these will help you to step out of your comfort zone and shell. it can do wonders for you in more ways than you can imagine. I highly suggest doing both. Preferably in that order. Acting is one of my biggest side passions. Every year I act in a play that sees approximately 15,000 audience members. A real rush and thrill 1
callingyouuu Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 1. Public speaking classes 2. Acting classes x2 on the Acting classes. I still wouldn't call myself "charismatic", but those classes have gotten me a heck of a lot closer. Improv might actually help, as well, if you have trouble coming up with ideas to talk about. 1
ascendotum Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 (edited) I second what TW said. It absolutely can be learned. It requires pushing through your comfort zones, a lot of social interaction, learning how women( and people in general) react to certain behaviours, developement of a strong sense of self, confidence, and social fearlessness. Not easy, but it can be learned. Being socialable and charismatic are not the same. I do think it can be leaned by people who aren't naturals, but I don't think that means 100% can be it. You don't have to have good looks, but having optimal levels of neurotransmitters & hormones pumping through your body will make it eaiser for some than it would for others (also your upbringing can have a big impact on your personality). Sit in on a accountant auditor conference and tell me, all those people there could be turned into 'tony robbins' type charmers. Edited June 7, 2012 by ascendotum
SJC2008 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 To get a bombshell with the complete, money looks and personality package mabye but not in genereal. Most men and women are every day joes and janes.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Absolutely can be learned. Anyone who says that they cant learn it. not only is not trying, but is sabotaging themselves, and will stay lonely forever. 1
Shaun-Dro Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 CHARISMA Problem is for one i think its something you have to be born with and two its not easily defineable But Men who are charismatic usually have a large supply of women to choose from,women want to be ENTERTAINED above all if you can make them laugh and keep them engaged theyre putty in your hands I know dudes who i dont trust at all and arent great guys but in terms of conversation they know how to engage people and keep them captivated especially women so even though thye might be scum theyre engaging entertaining scum and for women in the begning stages thats enough to keep thme interested and attracted for at least a little while AS i said though i dont think its a learnable trait,i think you can learn to become more sociabke if youre socially awkward but i dotn think you can be charismatic and draw people at the highest level to you if youre not born with it You make valid points. God knows I got issues out the ass and can be so controlling at times, rough around the edges, and a plain-old jerk when it comes to women, but for some strange reason I still manage to snag them in certain cases. Don't get me wrong, I get women showing me annoyed expressions when I try to talk to them or even bottle up when I approach, even before I say a single word, but it's still a coin toss for me. Better than most guys.
cloud81 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Absolutely can be learned. Anyone who says that they cant learn it. not only is not trying, but is sabotaging themselves, and will stay lonely forever. Do you realize the level of contradiction in the 2 sentences you wrote? I wish I could say it can be learned, because I have been years trying to learn it myself, but I have my doubts. Honestly, I have known many people and I have seen guys who were a BIT charismatic become MORE charismatic. But I have NEVER in my life known of a guy who could go from "no" to "yes". The guys who had trouble attracting women have always had. The guys who have women over them always have. I have yet to see a guy who could change this. And I have known quite a lot of people.
somedude81 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I still don't think that charisma is something that can be learned.
somedude81 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Simply because if it could be learned, more people will have it. If it can be learned, it is certainly something that's not easy.
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 nothing really worth having, ever is. Effort pays off, but you have to make it first. 4
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 i've gone 41 years and can't even get one. How old are you? Because if you say "41" you never tried to date as a newborn, huh? Or as a 5-year old... or even a 10-year old.... Be realistic. Get real, then face it and do something. Because if I, as a 54-year old, can get married, hell, you can.
wordrock Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Simply because if it could be learned, more people will have it. This logic is not good enough to support your idea. How to Be Charismatic 10 Ways to Become More Charismatic How to Be Charismatic Learn How to Develop Charisma That Attracts Women It's not difficult. I harp about it all the time, but the key is have self confidence. Be who you are while being mindful of others, and don't worry about the results. It's about being up front yet expressive, open yet fearless, jovial, and paying attention to everyone around you. There's more to it than that, but it's just something that comes with putting yourself out to strangers often. Most people have a few bad experience and just give up. That's where confidence comes in again. Be proud of who you are and what good traits and abilities you have... while not whipping yourself over things that aren't so good.
danny in van Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 might help to try to define what charisma is...I heard a definition I thought was the best I've come across...something like : Charisma is the behaviour of someone who is least self conscious. When you aren't self conscious- which to me means you aren't susceptible to the judgements of others- you act carefree - which is what charisma looks like. And can that be learned? I'd say yes. Or put another way, age (at least in my case) makes me care less about the opinions of others- which allows greater freedom of expression, which is a trait of charismatic people (I think!) And of course there is a connection or fine line between charismatic and sociopathic people. Often sociopaths are described as being very charismatic. So to totally disregard the opinions and feelings of another is sociopathic- yet is the makings of charisma. Navigate as you see fit I guess! 1
Necris Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 And yes, I agree with TW that it can totally be learned. Not easy, but worth learning. How to learn? Two recommendations that helped me: 1. Public speaking classes 2. Acting classes these will help you to step out of your comfort zone and shell. it can do wonders for you in more ways than you can imagine. I highly suggest doing both. Preferably in that order. Acting is one of my biggest side passions. Every year I act in a play that sees approximately 15,000 audience members. A real rush and thrill I've actually taken acting classes before astonishingly it didn't help me at all, really. Well, I guess it made me less nervous talking to a large group of people, but I didn't become anymore charismatic. Also some of the girls in my acting class as loose as they acted I noticed wanted nothing to do with me like this one girl who I had to hold hands with as part of a practice play thing refused to do so, it's not like I'm filthy or insane I guess I have a bad aura or something. some people got it some people don't like my father he's absolutey charismatic and people in general like him.
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Then watch what he does, how he does it and when - and be like him - but yourself. Create a life where people say "wow, you are soooooo like your dad!" as opposed to - "How come you are so NOT like your dad?"
Necris Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 (edited) Then watch what he does, how he does it and when - and be like him - but yourself. Create a life where people say "wow, you are soooooo like your dad!" as opposed to - "How come you are so NOT like your dad?" I've seen him in public before I don't get it people in general seem to just like him he just knows exactly what to say to people and how to say it and when, then again he's a literal genius officially tested and everything, and not nerdy like myself as he's into street-racing (he actually does street race himself in his suped up cars and apparently extremely good at it as well as good at evading the police), MMA fighting, and sports. I knew another guy with charisma that I used to be friends with in college for whatever reason that guy got along with people very well his problem with women was finding the right one and beating off all the other women chasing after him. He never could give me any good advice though. Edited June 8, 2012 by Necris
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