Frankie2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Hi. My girlfriend and I of two years and friend of 10 years have split up, well she dumped me. Within a week she already had a new boyfriend. I couldn’t believe I was replaced that fast by someone that I know for a fact she just met. It was devastating. We have still been talking, and she says she is not sure if she wants us to get back together. I did ask her if she had any hope for us and she did say yes. So we talk pretty often, and she talks about this guy all the time and it just tears me apart inside. I feel like I have just been erased. We have had many good times, and of course there were times where it was not the greatest but we tried to make it through them. I have changed my life to be a better person and I hope she notices this. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing, but after reading many posts from this site, I am thinking I should sever all communications with her. I don’t want to do this and I am not sure I can. What will she think, if I all of a sudden stop talking to her? Will she think I gave up? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am lost and so far down in the dumps it really sucks.
gusman35 Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 I know what you mean man.. The same thing happen to me before.. I think sometimes if you are with someone for a long time they mite get bored and need a new thing in there life.. You should do the same.. Don't even talk with her if all it is doing is hurting you. I know that is easer said then don. Just do things for your self.. Have some good time alone and think about were you are going in life.. I'm not saying to go out and meet new woman b/c that will not help at all. That will just make it worse.. You just need to be strong and if you do talk to her just never let her know you still care or care about her new man.. Don't let her get you by the balls like I have always don.. Good luck..
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Author Posted June 28, 2004 Thanks gus, Still pretty hard but I have noticed she has been online all day. Well so far so good today, I have made no attept to contact. I still feel empty and it is very tempting. But then I think to myself, well if I mean so much to her, why did it only take a week for me to be replaced by a total stranger? Is this some twisted game she is playing or is this serious. I tried to tell her it was not a good idea to date this early after a break up but she said she already thought of that, and thinks it will be ok. I wish I knew what she really thinks instead of having to guess cuz of the walls she has built. Well I guess I just keep on keepin on and things will get better one way or another.
J_weik Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 That new guy she is seeing means nothing. Its just a rebound. You shouldn't feel bad about that, That should make you feel good that she has to find someone in order to make her self feel good. They will not last because she rushed into things, and he is just being used because she feels like crap.
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Author Posted June 28, 2004 I hope that is the case, I could never do that, it just doesnt seem right to go out with someone right after a long term relationship. What really confusses me is she says she is not sure if she wants us, and also mentioned that she had hope. I feel more like a back up plan than someone she loves. If she loves me so much, then why the hell is someone else getting the love and I get asked favors. Screw it, no maore favor until I see a little trrying on her part. But this still sucks!!!!
J_weik Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 "then why the hell is someone else getting the love and I get asked favors" Hes not getting nothing prolly. He (If there even is another guy) is being used. I bet when shes with him, she thinks about you.
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 Well still trying the no contact thing. It has left me with out sleep and feeling pretty miserable. I do notice she is online alot, I am not sure if that is a hint that I am supposed to say "Hi" or something. But if I do that then I dont think she would miss me and she would think that I will always be there. This "other guy" is really eating me up" I saw him the other day and I know it is one sided but what in the world could she possibly see in this guy. Oh well. Does anybody know if not contacting her is a good or bad thing? I tell myself that yeah soon she will start missing me and wonder why I am so quiet all of a sudden. Then the other side tells me she just doesn't care and has thrown everything we had a way, and moved on. Love can be pretty nasty some times.
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 Also does anybody know that if there is no contact from me, would it put a strain on her new boyfriend. Do you think it affects how they are when they are together?
Apollo432 Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 I feel exactly what you are saying here. I am going through the same thing you are. She said she didnt know if we could last and wanted time to sort it all out. Then I hear she is talking to someone and that is all she says it is is talking. I want to believe her but, dont know if I do. She was the same way telling me she needed space but thought very positive about us in the future. Then I started no contact. She emailed me a few times and I replied with just small talk and didnt ask her any questions and that was it for about a week. I work with her and have to see her everyday. THAT KILLS ME. I think all of the people that posted are right that he is just a rebound and it will not last. I know it hurts like hell but you cannot contact her. JUST DONT DO IT. IF she left you that was her decision and if she wnts you back in her life she will contact you. Read the advice on this board it will help. As for the other guy. Try not to think about it. It will just wind up eating you up like it did me.
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 yeah, I know what you mean about the working with her thing. I am kinda in the same boat, she is also my neighbor. Moving is not an option for either of us right now. I just try to not see her, dont spend much time outside when I am at home, I know it has only been two days now since I started no contact, it isnt easy, but I will take the advice and not contact her at all, maybe it will make her start thinking. who knows?
Author Frankie2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 OK here is a question I have. If the day comes when she tries to contact me, do I accept the invitaion or should I ignore her and play hard to get? I know she will call or message and it will most likely happen sooner than later. So I want to be prepared. I know not to get all, "I love you and want you back" I know to play it cool, but I am starting to wonder if she tries to make contact, will she still be playing this game to see if she has the power over me. Any advice on some good words to say? And also what about this new guy, if she talks about him how do I react? Do I end the conversation and tell her it was nice talking to her, but I have to go? This side of love sucks.
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