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abusive step father


justme14

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Well my mom and my step dad got together when I was 2 so they have been together for 12 years. But as long as I can remeber he was always hitting me and yelling. I have 1 older sisters, a younger sister and a little brother. My little siblings are my step dad kids and he yells at them a lot but usually I take up for them and his anger turns on me so atleast they dont get yelled at that much. He is always calling me a bitch, lazy and stuff like that. He hits me a lot like about 15 minutes ago he hit me and that is what brought me here. When i was in fourth grade I remeber not being able to go to school because he busted my lip and it was swollen and when I was probably about four I just got out the bathtube and there was a cup and I looked inside and then he grabbed me by my arm and lifted me up and spanked my bare butt so hard, now that I think about it that was probably his hiding place for his pot. My mom doesn't even take up for me but she always says that her kids come first and and a lot of other lies. But tonight was bad because he was yelling and then he tried to hit me so I kicked him so he would not hit me but then he started to kick me and i always keep a pocket knife on me because I don't like the neighborhood we live in, so I took it out because I was scared because I don't like being hit and I don't take pain well and now he's acting like I hurt his feelings because " he raised me since I was little and I would pull out a knife on him" well it was either that or I keep getting hit so i hope now he stops hitting me.

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I'm so sorry for what you are going through with your stepdad.

 

I think you should tell a trusted adult, a teacher, an aunt or uncle or a counselor at your school what is going on at home. You should not have to live like that and you do not deserve it.

 

Please seek some help asap.

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I am probably just going to move to my aunts house. But I'm scared to do that because I'm staring high school and I don't know anyone there

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pink_sugar

I lived with my dad for over 10 years and was never at a single school for longer than 2-3 years, because I was shuffled in and out of districts. I started high school at a new district and it was tough not knowing anyone, but in your case it's much better than living with abuse. If you live in the US, there is something called the "out of district transfer" which means you can possibly remain in your current school district if your aunt is willing to apply and have your school accept you living out of the school district.

 

That is if your aunt lives nearby you. If she lives several hours away or in another state, of course all bets are off.

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MuscleCarFan

Frankly, I think you should call the police next time he hits you. You deserve better than to live in a crappy situation like that.

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  • 1 month later...
goodthingscome

I would tell your Mom that if he beats you again you will call the police or tell your counselor at school. If she won't protect you go to someone who will. But get rid of the knife, that just escalates the issue. And you could end up really hurt or in jail.

 

 

That being said, does he beat anyone else in your family? I realize there are 3 sides to each situation, yours, his, and the truth. If you are creating chaos or being disrespectful then stop! You won't win in a physical fight. You need to protect yourself and if leaving the home is your last resort then go, you can make new friends. I hope your Mom steps up to the plate, but don't depend on her if she hasn't so far.

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dreamingoftigers

**** the police, theyll calm the domestic, but social services would actually do something.

 

My dad was the same way. He was wailing on me and then I grabbed the phone to hit him back and he still whines about it like I was hiding in the shadows to attack all AT&T-style.

 

I'm 30 now, he's 54 and at the time he was way out of my weight class.

 

They don't change either. It's always about them and their pitiful selves.

 

Get out of there. Get some EMDR THERAPY when you are older.

 

You might have trouble in a couple grades because of the disruption, go back

right away and finish and get into school. Don't let it become a decade-long battle like I did.

 

My dad tried to kill me when I was 16 and I left home. Everything you are saying sounds like my home before he tried to kill me. My

Mom included with her blind-eye bull****.

 

Don't let them guilt you. Don't let other adults tell you about how "they love you, they are your parents, respect them."

 

Just because someone holds the title, doesn't mean that they do the job, or do

it well.

 

If you got into an intimate relationship with someone like this, everyone would tell you "leave this person, clearly they don't love you."

 

I didn't leave sooner because of my siblings too. And my parents put a stone wall around that relationship. See if there is a way to get legal access for visits. Social services might be a headtrip, even if you have to report more then once. But they had no problem going in in February and ordering my

father out of his own house into treatment for alcoholism. They can also test your stepfathers hair for any illegal substance abuse.

 

You have more power here backing you then you know, but only if you don't tip your hand and tell your parents what you can do first. Don't try to control them with it. That's their game. Don't play it.

 

Grab ahold of a book called "Boundaries" by cloud and Townshend (now, or in a couple years), another personal face of mine is Toxic Parents.

 

Don't let them guilt you. You don't owe them ****ing anything. They owe you a childhood.

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dreamingoftigers
I would tell your Mom that if he beats you again you will call the police or tell your counselor at school. If she won't protect you go to someone who will. But get rid of the knife, that just escalates the issue. And you could end up really hurt or in jail.

 

 

That being said, does he beat anyone else in your family? I realize there are 3 sides to each situation, yours, his, and the truth. If you are creating chaos or being disrespectful then stop! You won't win in a physical fight. You need to protect yourself and if leaving the home is your last resort then go, you can make new friends. I hope your Mom steps up to the plate, but don't depend on her if she hasn't so far.

The response to a 2 to 14 year old's chaos is not HITTING THEM.

 

No other truth necessary.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Please ask your aunt to report the abuse to the police. Just because you're not there, he isn't going to suddenly stop - he'll just pick the next one in line. And YOU are not supposed to be protecting your siblings - the police and authorities are. Please contact them. For everyone's sake. Even your mom's. Just think how bad she feels that she's so weak she can't protect her own kids. Be strong and report it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You should talk about it with a person whom you trust, I agree.

Never try to conceal such facts and your emotions.

Your silence can ruin you from inside, because quiet sufferings are much worse that anything else!

And cheer up, you are not alone here!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey (Just_ME) Gate 101 "here"

 

I just registered "today" and your topic that your wrote about your step father gave tears to my eye's! but any way. I CAN RELATE TO THIS!!!

Just let me say that my dad and my mum use to hit me too. When i was just a Little kid but i cannot remember how old i was from that time the abusive behaviour happen? of course i had a really bad up bringing that's because i lived in the "Ghetto" but I'm a changed man Now!! I'm out of the ghetto Working for the government well!! everyone as their history RIGHT!!

You know when my dad and mum use to hit me! i felt them and you know what? they planned a holiday to take me to Australia and my dad just took off an lefted me here in Australia with my Aunty i was only 8 years old! "EIGHT YEARS OLD" But you know what lol i run away from my aunty when i was about !7 because she was even more abusive. and.Because of all this abuse that when on in my life i had to see councillors,therapy I went to prison also went to REHAB nearly dying of a drug overdose,and just quickly. ill tell one thing and one thing only JESUS CHRIST is the one that saved my life!! 4 REAL!!! but its up to you Okay if think Jesus is the one for you(: Oh yeah one more thing';' i still live in Australia i have been here ever since they left me here My parents that is) I still think about what my parents did to me! in the past and still cry some nights because everyone needs a Mum and Dad ): Well at least I'm off the drugs and off the streets staying out of trouble i got my own place to live in all because of JESUS(:

 

My Last Words:

Sorry i know that there's a religious topic lol i just wanted needed to share this to you!!

 

If you got any questions just PM me

 

Appreciated Regards

GATE101:)

:sick:

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I am probably just going to move to my aunts house. But I'm scared to do that because I'm staring high school and I don't know anyone there

 

The problem with moving to your aunt's house is you will just leave your siblings behind to take his anger and abuse. You need to tell someone. The only way it is going to stop is if he understands there is a consequence to his behavior.

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