How do you know if you can come back from something?

[Quickfast]

To re-iterate my question properly,

 

how do you know if you can come back from a certain point in a serious relationship? Things that have been said cannot be "unsaid", things that cannot be done that cant be "undone" etc.

 

I can share my experiences, but if theres anybody willing to give some insight into what they think draws the line for them.

 

Sometimes its not so easy, things can be going swimmingly, then either through GIGS, or through passive aggressive reactions to things, all these things can add up. It can equal a situation in which there is an unspoken "holding on" to the relationship. How do I know when to pull the trigger and just end it? Ending a three year relationship might be the hardest thing I'll have to deal with emotionally, is it the right thing to do?

 

Any insight would be greatly appreciated,

 

Thanks

[Philosoraptor]

If you give up belief that things will get better you've already lost.

 

But you need to give details here as everyone has their own opinion of what a "serious" point is.

[Quickfast]

Your right, details will provide some context to what I'm dealing with.

 

We met in college, sparks instantly. There was a small age gap, which is meaningless because she is smart, mature, and just my type. We have been together for three years, and have had some bumps in the road like most couples. I feel like we've really tried to make our relationship work

 

More recently she started to become distant, showing clear signs that something was up. Having gone through this before, I called her out on it. We sat down and talked, and she confessed to not being sure about our relationship. Classic GIGS syndrome I imagine. She told me that she wants to be young and see whats out there. She even admitted to a casual attraction to someone else.

 

She told me things about myself that bothered her. These things were hard to hear, but I accepted them. My ego screamed at me to just end it. Why would I want to be with someone that wasnt sure about being with me?

 

I didnt give her an ultimatum, I was honest and emotional, but I told her that I wanted to be with her. My feelings for her trumped my ego. I told her that if we break up, we'll both be perfectly fine, but I know it just wouldnt be the same. We talked and agreed to continue to work on our relationship.

 

Although we started off enthusiastically, it seems like our enthusiasm for the relationship is slowly tapering off. That sounds bad, but I think those are just the ebb and flows of any relationship.

 

Can we come back from this? The things she said to me cant be "unsaid". Can I forgive and forget? We're young, and have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Are we just holding on to something thats broken?

[Joaquin]

I wouldn't be able to go with a girl that confirmed she has feelings of attraction for another man she knows.

 

Call me old fashioned but surely this is the death kneel for a relationship.

Edited June 1, 2012 by Joaquin

[Philosoraptor]

I'm sorry but the issue isn't of growing up, you say she told you things that bother her regarding you. From what you wrote it sounds like honest communication and that she feels some incompatibility. It also sounds like she is willing to work through such things. What were the issues she brought up?

[Jose11]

You know when it's it's over. That spark you always felt for that person just isn't there anymore. Your heart tries to convince your mind and logic that it's still possible, but eventually your mind wins.