supergirl1213 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 - He has given me intense eye contact before (longer than what is considered normal) The last time he did this, I stared back and then smiled and he smiled back - when walking by he will snap his fingers in my ears - when walking by he will look at me - his eyebrows sometimes raise when he sees me, he will give me a big greeting - uses my name a lot in conversation - remembers everything I say and brings it up in later convos - will go out of his way to help me with work things - teases me about being mean to him - will do annoying things like try and block me from what I need to get to, throw things at me, kept pushing a box into me the other night - IS MORE FLIRTY W/ ME IN PRIVATE THAN IN GROUPS
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 not funny !!!! Actually I have done all of this except - when walking by he will snap his fingers in my ears and this: - will do annoying things like try and block me from what I need to get to, throw things at me, kept pushing a box into me the other night yet she somehow interpreted it not as interest but that I didn't know how to talk to girls and I guess as harassment or something unwanted though she acted interested at the time. She still tries to catch my attention from time to time.
Author supergirl1213 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 so you consider this flirting then? I do too. . what should i do to let him know I am interested. I flirt back....
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 With some of the harassment he is putting you through like the ear snapping, throwing things at you, etc. I need to ask how do you like abusive relationships? If he isn't playing you then I don't like the odds of this ending in anything healthy with him. If it was just light verbal teasing then that would be one thing, but this is going too far and that's the kind of treatment in the future you can expect from him at the very least maybe worse.
Author supergirl1213 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 wait, is this serious? he is just joking around, trying to be funny and get my attention. He is not harassing me in any way whatsoever.
KathyM Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 He sounds pretty immature. Those are things a young teenager might do to show interest. But I definately think he's interested and flirting. I'd suggest the direct approach with him (assuming he's single), and next time he is close by and does something to get your attention, tell him "So when are you going to ask me out?" Time to put the cards on the table and move past the childish stuff.
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 wait, is this serious? he is just joking around, trying to be funny and get my attention. He is not harassing me in any way whatsoever. He is going the pulling on your hair route of "flirtation." How long before you don't have any hair left? You should look for a guy with a better approach. If you think a guy with a poor approach will treat you better down the line then you are seriously mistaken. It is obvious to me you are smitten with him, want him, and want to know if he wants you. Nothing I can say will stop you from desiring him and putting out hints of your interest to him. You'll take the route you think is best but I already know where it is going.
KathyM Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 He is going the pulling on your hair route of "flirtation." How long before you don't have any hair left? You should look for a guy with a better approach. If you think a guy with a poor approach will treat you better down the line then you are seriously mistaken. It is obvious to me you are smitten with him, want him, and want to know if he wants you. Nothing I can say will stop you from desiring him and putting out hints of your interest to him. You'll take the route you think is best but I already know where it is going. Sorry, but I have to disagree with you that a guy with an immature approach is going to be abusive down the line. Some guys just don't know how to approach women or flirt with them in a mature way. I know a guy IRL that did this type of stuff to a friend of mine when he was in his 20s and interested. They ended up married for many years and had two kids and a great marriage. He's just trying to get her attention and doesn't know a better way. That's my opinion anyway, fwiw. You could try going out with him and dating him, and if he has abusive tendencies, those will come out during the dating process, but I wouldn't consider his attempts to flirt in this way a dealbreaker or a red flag.
wwwjd Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 um... why? Opps. My bad. I read "NOT" interested somehow... herp-a-derp-a-me!
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Sorry, but I have to disagree with you that a guy with an immature approach is going to be abusive down the line. Some guys just don't know how to approach women or flirt with them in a mature way. I know a guy IRL that did this type of stuff to a friend of mine when he was in his 20s and interested. They ended up married for many years and had two kids and a great marriage. He's just trying to get her attention and doesn't know a better way. That's my opinion anyway, fwiw. You could try going out with him and dating him, and if he has abusive tendencies, those will come out during the dating process, but I wouldn't consider his attempts to flirt in this way a dealbreaker or a red flag. but they didn't stay married.....
mtber75 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 You can flirt back because he is definitely interested. But I would be careful in a work environment especially joking around (throwing stuff and others) can be misinterpreted as harassment by your OTHER co workers when they see this.
Author supergirl1213 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 we are both 22, I am fairly certain he is inexperienced with girls. We don't work in a serious place, I mean.. it's just a part-time job until we get "real" jobs. So the fact that we work together is a non-issue. I am pretty sure this guy is not going to be abusive any way. He is very respectful, nice and polite.
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 we are both 22, I am fairly certain he is inexperienced with girls. We don't work in a serious place, I mean.. it's just a part-time job until we get "real" jobs. So the fact that we work together is a non-issue. I am pretty sure this guy is not going to be abusive any way. He is very respectful, nice and polite. I'll be waiting at work for you to ask me out babe.
KathyM Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 but they didn't stay married..... They stayed married for 22 years and have two wonderful sons, and she has been happy for the vast majority of their marriage. They just recently divorced for irreconcilable differences, but there was no abuse involved. They had a happy marriage for many years.
Author supergirl1213 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 yeah the abuse claim is just absurd. lol
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 They stayed married for 22 years and have two wonderful sons, and she has been happy for the vast majority of their marriage. They just recently divorced for irreconcilable differences, but there was no abuse involved. They had a happy marriage for many years. Abuse can be very subtle.
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 yeah the abuse claim is just absurd. lol Well then give me a chance the first moment you find me at work.
KathyM Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Abuse can be very subtle. That's why you get to know someone really well before marrying them. If he does, in fact, have abusive tendencies, those will come out eventually. If he is very controlling and orders you around a lot or insists on having his own way when you date him, that would be a red flag. If he tries to control the way you spend your money, that would be a red flag for abuse. If he insists that he knows the "better way" of doing something on a regular basis, that would be a red flag. If he prevents you from leaving the car or the house, that would be a red flag. I don't consider trying to get a girl's attention by throwing spit balls at her or stuff like that abusive, just immature. Some boys (and men) don't know how to attract a girl's attention in a mature way, so they resort to middle school tactics.
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 That's why you get to know someone really well before marrying them. If he does, in fact, have abusive tendencies, those will come out eventually. If he is very controlling and orders you around a lot or insists on having his own way when you date him, that would be a red flag. If he tries to control the way you spend your money, that would be a red flag for abuse. If he insists that he knows the "better way" of doing something on a regular basis, that would be a red flag. If he prevents you from leaving the car or the house, that would be a red flag. I don't consider trying to get a girl's attention by throwing spit balls at her or stuff like that abusive, just immature. Some boys (and men) don't know how to attract a girl's attention in a mature way, so they resort to middle school tactics. It is easier to walk around a pile of sh*t than through it, but once you are in it then it will be pretty hard to get out of it and completely clean yourself of it. I have seen women take your stance and end up married for years anyway.
KathyM Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 It is easier to walk around a pile of sh*t than through it, but once you are in it then it will be pretty hard to get out of it and completely clean yourself of it. I have seen women take your stance and end up married for years anyway. Those are probably women that chose to ignore obvious signs of abuse, or they didn't recognize the signs of abuse. I'd say this guy is just immature, and I think you're making it out to be more than what it is. I don't think it would hurt to date the guy and see what he is really like. She said he was polite, etc. I think it's worth a try.
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