T4toria Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I met my partner through work. We started seeing each other in June 2010, after being friends for some time before. It started out as a casual relationship as I had just left a long term relationship. In 2011 we started seeing more of each other. Spending every other weekend together and one day in the week. I loved him dearly, he told me he could not say the same as he had difficulty expressing himself but treated me wonderfully, telling me he thought the world of me and talking about our future. In February this year my mother committed suicide. I was distraught, we were really close. My partner was there for me all the way through. Throughout our relationship I worried he was involved with other people. Last weekend I confronted him again and found out that he had been involved in a completely separate relationship for the whole time we were together. He told this woman he loved her, talked about their future too. I told her, they have since split up. I'm finding it so hard to let go, I'm devastated. He was helping me through and now everything is so bleak. I've been signed off work and given antidepressants. I can't seem to get it in my head that it's over and am incomplete denial that it's happened at all. I was still in touch with him but have now cut all contact which is torture. I can't stop thinking about him or wondering what he's doing or what he's done. The whole past seems a lie, the present is pain and the future is black.
Philosoraptor Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I'm very sorry to hear what has happened to you. I think right now what would be best is to start working on yourself. Concentrate on who you are and who you want to be. Figure out what you want out of this world for yourself and make it happen. Live not in the future or the past, but in the moment. Right now the moments are tough so do what you can to make them a bit brighter. Do the things you enjoy and focus on what you are doing right then when you are doing them. I wish you the best and hope that you come out of this stronger for having to go through it.
Author T4toria Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 Thanks. He rung me earlier to have a go at me for ruining his life. Apparently by telling his other girlfriend I have ruined his life and his career as she has told everyone in work and he has lost everything. He says i did it out of jealousy but it was the only decent thing I could do, she had a right to know, I would have wanted to know.
d'Arthez Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Life will get better for you. He is just trying to deflect responsibility, or possibly even trying to work his way back into a relationship with you or the other woman. He played with fire and got burned. The consequences are his and his only.
Own Worst Enemy Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I lost my mum many years too young, and found out the same week that my bf of 3 years had snogged someone else and was trying to pull her. I was so out of it and confused that I put up with him for another year, until he left me for her. So I know exactly how it feels to have the two coincide. In some respects, it is easier to get mad with the guy, because you can't get mad with your mum. But long term of course it is v v hard. What can I say? Be nice to yourself. Spend all your time with friends. Remember that your mum would not have wanted you to shed one tear for a douche like that. He sounds like a horrific piece of work.
Derevko Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 My heart goes out to you. I too suffered through the death of the person in my family I was closest to, and the the breakup with my girlfriend who I loved dearly, all within the span of a few days. I know how excruciatingly painful and overwhelming it can be at times. But please know it can get better. It's 4 months later for me and things are just starting to now turn the corner. Every day is a battle but it's one worth fighting. Hang in there.
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