robaday Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Dont know what came over me the last two weeks. Well I do, we reiniated contact. I didnt do anything that would scare her off, in fact she was bombarding me with messages, mostly sexual in tone. I restrained myself, took all my strength. And after id rejected her advances 3 times, I asked if we could go for a coffee. And she gave me the "lets just be friends line". I basically then told her to stop contacting me. Coupled with telling me I got what I wanted and criticism of my actions post breakup, Im just falling apart at the sides. Have no idea how someone I loved could be such a bitxxtch. I wasnt so much hurt by the breakup. Its whats happened since the break up that has really destroyed my confidence and faith in being a decent guy. I went no contact immediately, and had 5 missed calls, 4 texts and 3 emails begging me to talk. And then finally when I opened myself, it just got rammed down my throat again. Ive woken up crying the last week every single day. Its not normal for a 31 year old man.
ToyWithMe812 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 The artificial-evil ones are coming out in this day and age man, they are ready to fly their true colors. And nah, you were hurt by it, and it probably won't be the last time. Never give in to their fake horses**t again and it will help
Philosoraptor Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 The push and pull is never fun. Realize that you are better off without this person as it seems that she just wants to know she can still push your buttons and get you to do what she wants you to do. 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 You're hurt and that is so sad. The pain you are feeling is directly proportionate to how deeply you are capable of feeling. When this fades, the next lucky girl will be so glad of that. If this one can't see it - and it sounds as if she can, which is why she wants to keep you hanging around - more fool her.
Author robaday Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 Worst thing is, its quite clear, she did this just to hurt me. Why someone would go to sooo much trouble to get your attention, send so many tbh filthy sexual messages, with no intention of seeing you again, I have noo idea. 2 months later and she had nothing better to do. I regret finally telling her, look you hurt me badly, really badly, you got what you wanted now please leave me alone to heal. Its the first time I have actually hinted that I am hurting that I was hurt by the break up, since it happened.
Downtown Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Have no idea how someone I loved could be such a bitxxtch.Actually, you do. As we've been discussing in your other threads since April, you understand -- at an intellectual level -- that this is exactly how emotionally unstable people behave. Namely, they will adore you for a few days or weeks and then, in ten seconds, will flip to the polar opposite: devaluing or hating you. And, because they usually are sincere in both emotional states, they typically are vindictive and hateful while "splitting you black." What you are having trouble with, then, is not in understanding it intellectually. Rather, you are having great difficulty in believing it to be true at a gut level. That is, you are struggling to transform your new-found knowledge into wisdom. To do so, you must give your "inner child" (i.e., the intuitive, emotional part of your mind) more time to catch up with your "inner adult" (i.e., the logical part of your mind). After a breakup, Rob, it is common for the child's feelings to lag behind the adult's logic by many months. Indeed, in my case -- when I was divorcing after a 15 year relationship -- it took me about 18 months to close that gap between my logic and feelings.
Author robaday Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 Thanks Downtown - you have been a source of great knowledge and comfort through this immensely dificult time. Having gone through another incredibly dificult breakup 4 years ago, which took me two years to fully heal from, I swore I would never tell a woman that she hurt me again. But, Ive gone and done it again. Its that embarrassment, and lack of strength I think Im giving myself a hard time for, not her.
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