Does all the guys have such an ego problem?

[Francoise]

I had an emergency and I could not go back to the place where my date was waiting for me. (I told him I will we back in 8 minutes).

I went back after an hour and a half and he was not there anymore.

I wanted to explain him personally what happened, therefore I did leave a brief phone message telling him to call me back.

He did not call me back and he does not answer his phone anymore. (He always answered the phone when I was calling him).

Is this so unacceptable?? To not be able to make it, to try to apologize and to not receive a call back.

On the top of everything, I saw him at a place where we usually hang, I was with my friends, and he was alone. He would not come to say hi, or nothing, he gave me mean looks.I completely ignored him.

Do all the guys have such an ego problem?

(We were supposed to go to a hotel, if that matters, and we have been dating for about 2 months, did not sleep with him yet- Thanks God!!!! )

[sportsloving]

Ouch, kind of sounds like you both are having communication issues.

 

Yeah, he could have answered his phone and listened to your reasons for not being able to return when you stated you would be back. If you are getting his voicemail, have you left a message explaining what happened?

 

Then you see him in a friendly atmosphere where you are with your friends, he is alone but shooting daggers at you. What stopped you from saying hi and saying "I just wanted to explained what happened the last time we went out"? Why would you totally ignore him and then come here and say he has an ego problem?

 

It would seem to me if he had an ego problem, he would have no problem coming up to you and your friends and stating "his problem" to you. But even you will have to admit that A) he thinks you ditched him at a date, B) some guys get "freaked out" when the girl they want to talk to is surrounded by her friends ... especially if he was alone.

 

What you do next is up to you, but I would seriously consider at least leaving a message telling him the facts and letting him make the next move. Good luck to you

[faux]

Originally posted by Francoise

I had an emergency and I could not go back to the place where my date was waiting for me. (I told him I will we back in 8 minutes).

I went back after an hour and a half and he was not there anymore.

 

I wouldn't have been there, either. I don't think any sane man would have been. An hour and a half?!? And no word from you!

 

I wanted to explain him personally what happened, therefore I did leave a brief phone message telling him to call me back.

He did not call me back and he does not answer his phone anymore. (He always answered the phone when I was calling him).

 

I can completely understand him being angry with you. However, in this situation I would have called you back and explained why I was angry. If you had an emergency, and were going to take a while, I would have appreciated a phone call explaining that you are going to be taking a lot longer than you intended, and you do not know when you will be coming back.

 

Is this so unacceptable?? To not be able to make it, to try to apologize and to not receive a call back.

 

As I said, I can understand him being angry. You did not mention that, after you told him you would be 8 minutes, if you phoned him while you were away. You simply mentioned that you said you would return in 8 minutes, and then came back an hour and a half later. I would have left, too. I would have been enfuriated.

 

I'm sure that he would have greatly appreciated a phone call explaining that you will be taking a long while.

 

On the top of everything, I saw him at a place where we usually hang, I was with my friends, and he was alone. He would not come to say hi, or nothing, he gave me mean looks.I completely ignored him.

Do all the guys have such an ego problem?

(We were supposed to go to a hotel, if that matters, and we have been dating for about 2 months, did not sleep with him yet- Thanks God!!!! )

 

I don't think it is ego. I think that he is completely justified in being hurt. If my date left me saying she would be right back, and never came back after all that time, I would be infuriated! Still, I do not see why he would not talk to you about his feelings. After all, you did explain to him what had happened.

 

Still, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, be SURE to CALL your date and tell him that you will be kept longer than expected!

[Francoise]

Sportsloving:

I called after 20 minutes (when I knew I cannot make it back) and left him a message asking him to call me back.

 

At the place where I saw him, I wanted to go to talk to him, but he was on the phone the entire time I was there at the bar, therefore I thought he either does not want to talk to me , playing busy or he is really busy ( he usually is very very busy).

On my way to the restroom, I passed by him and he was on the phone still, he held his hand up to me, basically to be quiet. I was just passing by him, not even trying to talk to him, and by holding his hand up, was enough of a sign that he is not willing to talk.

 

Faux:

 

I apologize about the misunderstanding: I called him after 20 minutes, not after an hour and a half. He did not answer the phone. And yes, you are completely right, I did not say anything about being late, I just asked him to call me back, because it is important. He never did.

 

At that place where I saw him, he gave me that "talk to the hand" sign, he was on the phone. I refuse to humiliate my self, to try to talk to a person, when obviously they do not want to listen to me.

 

He never knew what actually happened. I never had a chance to explain him that my delay was fully justified (it had to do with my daughter- and yes, she is number one priority in my life, no matter what).

 

I think it all gets down to the point that some people want to be number one, and they refuse to understand that there are some situations or exceptions when that cannot happen. The entire time that I've seen this person, I tried to be on time, and when I could not he always understood. I am always the one late, and I told him how I am. I also know that he is a very proud person, and he gets easily offended.

 

I also believe, that this entire situation (I mean his behavior) is strictly related to the fact that we decided together that we will go to a hotel, basically we will sleep together. By not going back, or being late, I guess he took it as a big offense, thinking that I did it on purpose, playing with his feelings (which I did not).

 

If I trust somebody and that somebody is telling me that would be back, I would've wait as much as needed, trusting that the person will come back, no matter what. But that's me. My relationships are based on trust, respect and friendship. I fully trust the other person, and I expect the same. Obviously, he did not think the same, or else he would've been there waiting for me.

 

I really liked him and yes, I do have a hard time understanding how such a minor incident, can not be understand .

[faux]

Originally posted by Francoise

Faux:

 

I apologize about the misunderstanding: I called him after 20 minutes, not after an hour and a half. He did not answer the phone. And yes, you are completely right, I did not say anything about being late, I just asked him to call me back, because it is important. He never did.

 

Ah. You did phone him! To me, that would have been enough. I would have phoned you right back. After all, you did say it was an emergency! It was very nice of you to call back. Very ... not nice of him to ignore you like that

 

At that place where I saw him, he gave me that "talk to the hand" sign, he was on the phone. I refuse to humiliate my self, to try to talk to a person, when obviously they do not want to listen to me.

 

Hmm. He is simply being immature about it. You did not do anything wrong! Even if you did not call after twenty minutes to explain, you still DID call him back with an explanation. I'd have been angry, but I would have forgiven you. This guy does not sound so spectacular.

 

He never knew what actually happened. I never had a chance to explain him that my delay was fully justified (it had to do with my daughter- and yes, she is number one priority in my life, no matter what).

 

I think it all gets down to the point that some people want to be number one, and they refuse to understand that there are some situations or exceptions when that cannot happen. The entire time that I've seen this person, I tried to be on time, and when I could not he always understood. I am always the one late, and I told him how I am. I also know that he is a very proud person, and he gets easily offended.

 

I also believe, that this entire situation (I mean his behavior) is strictly related to the fact that we decided together that we will go to a hotel, basically we will sleep together. By not going back, or being late, I guess he took it as a big offense, thinking that I did it on purpose, playing with his feelings (which I did not).

 

The agreement to get closer should not change his reaction to you. He should still be able to respect you. I'm certain that, had he acted more mature about the situation, you would have rescheduled that alone time.

 

If I trust somebody and that somebody is telling me that would be back, I would've wait as much as needed, trusting that the person will come back, no matter what. But that's me. My relationships are based on trust, respect and friendship. I fully trust the other person, and I expect the same. Obviously, he did not think the same, or else he would've been there waiting for me.

 

I'd have waited, but not for an hour and a half! I would actually have gotten worried and phoned you. And seeing as you said you did phone, I'd have definitely attempted to make sure you were alright, possibly try to salvage the night, or at the very least reschedule for a later time.

 

I now cannot understand why he did not wait for you. You phoned him to explain, and he could have phoned you back to find out how he could rescue the evening. Unfortunately, he did not do this. I apologize, but I didn't have all of this information to go on previously! Sorry if I made you feel guilty, as you really didn't do anything wrong!

 

I really liked him and yes, I do have a hard time understanding how such a minor incident, can not be understand .

 

I'm having trouble figuring out why he didn't call you back to find out what had happened. I suppose it is a good thing, though, as if he is going to act this way about such a situation, he may not have been worth investing further time in.