whateverusay Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 My bf broke up with me 2 days ago..seemed to come out of nowhere! He is deployed right now, he is in the Marines, been in a long while and this is not first deployment or second or third. When he left everything was good, and he came home for 2 weeks r&r things were good, and has been good since then. We talk when we can, skype and see each other sometimes. It's hard and I miss him a lot! He is always questioning me though..he always has a fear I am going to cheat or leave him, he needs CONSTANT reassurance! He needs to hear how much I love him, want him, and miss him. He is always telling me how much he needs me, and how much I get him through and make him happy. I always give it to him, I love him so much and care about him, and I try to make sure he is ok and not stressed out, I try to keep our convos happy and positive, and of course at times sexy. Well, 2 days ago, he asked me what I was doing for the weekend. I told him I was planning on going out, something we had already talked about, a friend is getting married, and we are all gonna go out for her last weekend. He gets all pissed off at me that I am going, we ended up arguing about it, I then said well if it bothers you, then I will not go. He hangs up on me..and of course I can't call him back. So the next day, I get an email from him, saying he can't do this, he has to end it with me. Cause being over there is stressful, and he says having to worry about me cheating on him, is too much for him to think about. He said it was unfair to me, for him to want to me stay home all the time, and always know what I am doing and where. So, he said it was best he let me go, and when he returns home, hopefully we could be together, which is in 8 months. So..he really thinks, that I am gonna wait 8 months for him as a single woman, yet he does not even wanna talk to me or be with me during the 8 months?? wth? I don't get that, and he will not talk to me about it, he is just shut down now. He is acting like a complete different person now.
Philosoraptor Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 He doesn't seem to trust very well and that's a huge red flag. These are his own issues, not yours. As much as it hurts right now you'll probably be better off in the long run not having to deal with his insecurity.
Author whateverusay Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 I know, and you are right. He don't trust at all, which I understand, cause of things that happened to him in the past, during deployments. I too have a hurtful past, but I don't take it out on him. He wrote me a msg this morning, after not talking to me, just to say he was sick thinking of me with someone else..and when I tried to talk to him about us, he just don't want too. Then why email that?? Ugh.. I love him so much, I hope he is ok, and comes home safe. But I think I am done trying to convince him, and figure him out, all this time I have spent supporting him, and reassuring him, just for him to do this! At this point it is wearing me out. I just don't know what else to do or say to him.
Philosoraptor Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 It sounds like he doesn't want the relationship right now but doesn't want you to be with anyone either. It's not his choice to make.
furby19 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Sounds like he found someone else over there. I am in the military myself. A whole lot of ****ing goes on in the sandbox. He is acting all suspicious towards you because he is over there cheating on you. That is what guilty people do...he is guilty. Take care of yourself and watch his behavior.
lovinghut Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 he's probably cheating on you and feeling guilty or projecting the guilt onto you about it because realistically a guy who's so insecure would not suddenly just be okay with it. accept the break up and do good things for yourself and move on with your life. 1
RedDevil66 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 No one can really say since we do not know this man. So to say he is cheating is ridiculous! The accuser is often the doer, but we don't know in this case. From what you told us, he sounds insecure and childish. Men have a REALLY hard time with being secure. He could be under a lot of stress from this job, wishing he was with you etc, so maybe he just feels he can detach from the pain if he just ends it with you. For you to tell him you will stay home if it bothers him, is enabling him. Do not change your life for anyone. The trust issues he has are his alone. You know you are not being deceptive so you keep on living your life and let him figure it out. He'll be calling you again and you need to remain firm, be honest and allow for him to work on his things.
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