chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Okay, that first part is a wee lie. We have talked in the elevator alone. I am really attracted to him and we live in the same high rise building. The only thing is that I live with my family and they would never approve. Not that I care, but the idea that I would be treated like dirt once they found out (Ive got nowhere to go if they decided to kick me out) He's 38 and has a kid before, around my age that I used to play with as a child. I am getting mixed messages that he's catching onto the fact that I like him. I am not sure if he likes me back but maybe he's not being direct because of the fact I do live with my family and I do look younger than my age of 20. Also, my virginity is a part of it. Like, I don't really care about being a virgin anymore or waiting around to give it to the right person. I just want to start having sex already. The idea that he's an older man, would he be comfortable with me being a virgin? I don't intend to be in a real relationship with this guy, sort of a close friendship, sex sometimes. We aren't "together" though. He looks like he hasn't been laid in a LONG while. I really wouldn't mind climbing into bed with him. We couldn't go back to his place because his neighbors would squeal about us and somehow it would get to everyone in the building. Also, he's a bit of a conventional loser. Like, he smokes cigarettes, weed, has about no furniture, doesn't know how to cook... what else... He lives alone, doesn't take care of his appearance too much, wears the same clothes.... well, I really like him, he's funny and mysterious. I think he's thought about the idea of us messing around. Just the way he stares at me... Anyways, what are your thoughts on this?
2sunny Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Okay, that first part is a wee lie. We have talked in the elevator alone. I am really attracted to him and we live in the same high rise building. The only thing is that I live with my family and they would never approve. Not that I care, but the idea that I would be treated like dirt once they found out (Ive got nowhere to go if they decided to kick me out) He's 38 and has a kid before, around my age that I used to play with as a child. I am getting mixed messages that he's catching onto the fact that I like him. I am not sure if he likes me back but maybe he's not being direct because of the fact I do live with my family and I do look younger than my age of 20. Also, my virginity is a part of it. Like, I don't really care about being a virgin anymore or waiting around to give it to the right person. I just want to start having sex already. The idea that he's an older man, would he be comfortable with me being a virgin? I don't intend to be in a real relationship with this guy, sort of a close friendship, sex sometimes. We aren't "together" though. He looks like he hasn't been laid in a LONG while. I really wouldn't mind climbing into bed with him. We couldn't go back to his place because his neighbors would squeal about us and somehow it would get to everyone in the building. Also, he's a bit of a conventional loser. Like, he smokes cigarettes, weed, has about no furniture, doesn't know how to cook... what else... He lives alone, doesn't take care of his appearance too much, wears the same clothes.... well, I really like him, he's funny and mysterious. I think he's thought about the idea of us messing around. Just the way he stares at me... Anyways, what are your thoughts on this? It's not a good idea for many reasons.
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 It's not a good idea for many reasons. Could you elaborate? I know it's probably wrong on so many levels but maybe that's what excites me?
january2011 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I suspect that you are projecting a lot of assumptions and 'romantic' thoughts onto this man and the reality is probably going to be a huge disappointment. Given that he doesn't seem a great candidate for a 'first sexual encounter', I strongly advise you to keep your feelings to yourself and let your crush die a natural death. 2
2sunny Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Could you elaborate? I know it's probably wrong on so many levels but maybe that's what excites me? Your choices will define the person you are. Is this how you see yourself? Is this the wisest choice for your best interest? Would you want your daughter someday making this same choice for herself? Never settle!!! Ever!!!!!
carhill Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 My instinct is to advise you to give this idea a summer of contemplation, enjoying the attentions of young men your age who would invariably love to relieve you of your virginity and then, if no joy, pursue this avenue again in autumn. From your description, I doubt this guy is going anywhere, at least for what you want him for. Main risks are he'll get evicted or arrested for drug use. If he's been there awhile, I doubt anything major will happen. See how it goes.
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Your choices will define the person you are. Is this how you see yourself? Is this the wisest choice for your best interest? Would you want your daughter someday making this same choice for herself? Never settle!!! Ever!!!!! How do I see myself, how do you think I see myself? I really don't think this is going to mess up my whole life, or indicates who I am as a person (people are ever evolving, changing, growing) It doesn;t insinuate me as a bad person, or a good person. If I were a guy would that even come into play? What is my best interest? Perhaps it's a spur of the moment thing, it won't mean anything to me, maybe giving me a little satisfaction. I don't want a daughter lol Well, no kids actually. At least that's how I see it for now. Settle? I am not settling! It's casual, but also a friendship (if it turns out to be one). Like, the worst that can happen is a horrible sex experience and then I'll just ignore him when he walks by, I am sure he'd do the same if it was that bad Thankyou for looking out for me though! I thank you again!
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 My instinct is to advise you to give this idea a summer of contemplation, enjoying the attentions of young men your age who would invariably love to relieve you of your virginity and then, if no joy, pursue this avenue again in autumn. From your description, I doubt this guy is going anywhere, at least for what you want him for. Main risks are he'll get evicted or arrested for drug use. If he's been there awhile, I doubt anything major will happen. See how it goes. Thanks, Yea it's definitely something I am sitting on the fence about. It might not even happen. All I know is that it would be an interesting experience. Young men are not really my type. Maybe I haven't found the right one. No offence there, this guy doesn't seem like he's going anywhere but I don't care about his situation or what he does. He's a nice guy and I don't need him to have his own car or anything like that. Maybe it's because I have nothing as well?
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 I suspect that you are projecting a lot of assumptions and 'romantic' thoughts onto this man and the reality is probably going to be a huge disappointment. Given that he doesn't seem a great candidate for a 'first sexual encounter', I strongly advise you to keep your feelings to yourself and let your crush die a natural death. Yea, it probably will die but there's a chance it won't. He probably will will be a chance he'll be a huge dissapointment, but there could be a chance he wont. First sexual encounter, people have bad ones all the time. Always look forward I say (except for the extreme bad sexual encouters... i can see your caution sign here) thanks!
pteromom Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Like, the worst that can happen is a horrible sex experience and then I'll just ignore him when he walks by, No. The worst that could happen is... You have sex with him, and find yourself IN LOVE with a loser, and because of your emotions, you have a hard time disentangling from him. Or... You get pregnant, and end up with the baby you don't want, by a guy who can't support it. Or... Your assumption that he hasn't been laid in a long time is incorrect, and in fact, he likes to pick up hookers, and he ends up giving you herpes or worse. Or... You walk into his bedroom thinking you are going to have an "interesting" sexual experience, and find it is more interesting than you wanted when you discover he has some very bizarre fetish or gets off on beating you. Or... You fall in love with him, and good news! He falls in love with you too! Unfortunately, you've broken the hearts of your family and they want nothing to do with either of you. There are a lot of things that could go wrong here. No matter how mysterious and interesting he seems, use your HEAD. You don't want a relationship with him, your family would be very disappointed in you, and you yourself say he is a bit of a loser. There's nothing to gain here and a lot to risk. If you want to lose your virginity for the sake of losing it, surely you have some guy friend who would be up for the task. Be smart.
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 No. The worst that could happen is... You have sex with him, and find yourself IN LOVE with a loser, and because of your emotions, you have a hard time disentangling from him. Or... You get pregnant, and end up with the baby you don't want, by a guy who can't support it. Or... Your assumption that he hasn't been laid in a long time is incorrect, and in fact, he likes to pick up hookers, and he ends up giving you herpes or worse. Or... You walk into his bedroom thinking you are going to have an "interesting" sexual experience, and find it is more interesting than you wanted when you discover he has some very bizarre fetish or gets off on beating you. Or... You fall in love with him, and good news! He falls in love with you too! Unfortunately, you've broken the hearts of your family and they want nothing to do with either of you. There are a lot of things that could go wrong here. No matter how mysterious and interesting he seems, use your HEAD. You don't want a relationship with him, your family would be very disappointed in you, and you yourself say he is a bit of a loser. There's nothing to gain here and a lot to risk. If you want to lose your virginity for the sake of losing it, surely you have some guy friend who would be up for the task. Be smart. Thanks! These are all very realistic outcomes that can come out of having sex with him. I mean, some of them could be true; the hookers, the herpes, fetishism, beating those are my concerns too. Baby ; won't happen, love could but probably not But yea, I'll let things fall where they will. There's is alot of risk, I guess I am glad I put this on a forum instead of mulling it over in my brain. Thanks again, It probably won't happen anyways That guy friend thing seems weird for me and I wrote this whole thing lol Funny eh?
Author chemchick Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Hmmm...something doesnt seem right here Does it ever?
sid3 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I'd say that's one of the most honest threads I've seen on LS in a long time. Good for you OP! As far as what to do and think about this particular guy, I say go after what you desire.
veggirl Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 He's a big loser who is too old for you. You are a young virgin. OF COURSE he would be willing to sleep with you. He will eat you up, spit you out, and you will somehow "fall in love" with him along the way. Steer clear would be my advice.
Citizen Erased Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Probably should find someone better to jump in the sack with your first time around. Is it really worth losing your family for this guy?
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I don't get it. That's quite a long post rambling on about a guy you have never even spoken to! My goodness! You "aren't together;" well, that's an understatement. Didn't you talk to him while you were a little chile playing with his little chile?
FitChick Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Start taking birth control pills now in case your common sense leaves you and you find yourself naked with him. He sounds like the type who doesn't like to use condoms because it ruins his pleasure. And I hope you aren't one of those fools who thinks you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex. Yes, there are a lot of stupid women.
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