spinaroonie Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 ... and then not answer any of his calls or texts? This seems to be happening more and more often. A few years ago, when a woman gave you her number it meant she had genuine interest in you. Has this changed?
d'Arthez Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Sounds like you are trying to date girls. The immature type, who cannot handle saying "No" to your face. Don't bother with them. You're better off dating women. 2
TigerCub Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Yeah, I think the younger (less mature) gals do that just because they can't tell you to your face that they're not interested. Its the cowardly route. Sorry its happening to you.
tommycapnpants Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 i think the above answers are pretty spot on. i have started approaching women (28+), as opposed to girls (22+). i am 31. when i get their number i always get responses and end up texting a bit before the first date. my problem is i have been with 22 year olds ever since i was 22, and i still am kinda expect them to party like a 22 year old. so the older girls i go out with tend not to call after our first date. lol. i also think it has a lot to do with my recent breakup. so acting too forward in order to fulfill some need i have usually turns them off. so, try dating women as people have mentioned. but, dont act like the ass i have on my last 3 first dates. the last one was really great and i effing hate the way i acted at the end of the date last night. live and learn
persevere Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Whenever I get a number, I'll call it right then. Kinda makes it interesting when they just gave me the wrong number. Just roll with it if you get it and they dont call back. Give it one shot, leave a message, then toss it. Dont give them the satisfaction, if they are playing games, by persisting. 1
wordrock Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) Your post is a little broad... sure I've had a few women I just recently met not return my calls. I'll call twice or call once and text once. If I don't get a response I just move on and think nothing of it. It's pointless to wonder about it. You'll never know! I know some older attractive women (30's +) who do a variation of this as well. They'll respond to some calls, but generally will not call you back unless it's obvious you are actively trying to date them. If you just send them txts about random things that aren't related to actually doing things together, they won't respond. Same with voicemails that don't really say anything. They get approached by men constantly, so they do it to weed out guys who aren't into them "enough" and guys who aren't self assured enough. It works. Whenever I get a number, I'll call it right then. Kinda makes it interesting when they just gave me the wrong number. That's terrible. Never had a woman do that. I've only been turned down for a number a few times. Two said they had a boyfriend but they were very flattered, the others asked me for my number instead and never called. The latter is more likely to happen than a fake number. I don't worry about it regardless. If a woman is not interested, why bother? It's not a big deal. Find someone who is. I try not to worry about how long to wait to call a woman I've just met back. I've waited multiple days or even weeks. Weeks? Yes. It really depends on the situation: what she told you when you met, and what YOU have got going on in your life. People like to give out very general advice about this, and it's something I used to stress about... but it generally doesn't matter all that much unless you specifically told her when you would call. Sometimes I'm just busy or I'm seeing someone else and am waiting to see if it's going anywhere. I've not had a problem with talking to a woman that I haven't seen in weeks. If they notice that you are a straight forward guy with a busy life, they are not going to make a big deal about it if they really like you. If anything they are going to be ecstatic that you called. You just need to communicate and not leave it up to assumptions. Edited May 31, 2012 by wordrock
Leopard Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Has it changed? I don't know why anyone would give their number if they weren't interested.... Maybe girls do this to feel good about themselves. To have texts and calls to ignore. Probably they do it to feel better about themselves that guys are interested and chasing after them, so they give it out to anyone who asks.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Ladies, there is nothing wrong with this at all. Please continue doing this I hate hearing "No" in person. Just reject me by not answering my texts, seriously that's perfect No awkwardness, nothing, that's perfect
udolipixie Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I give out my number and not answer any of his texts and calls because I didn't have genuine interest in the guy rather playing a game with gal pals to amuse myself. The game being giving out your number and seeing who has the most guys repeatedly call then playing the voicemails for laughs. A gal giving her number meaning genuine interest probably hasn't changed. Rather the other reasons for a gal giving her number has increased- fear of confrontation (many guys can't handle rejection without insults or violence) or fear of rejecting face-to-face (many gals think not answering is an easier letdown).
persevere Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 (many gals think not answering is an easier letdown). While they may 'think' it's an easier let down. It is not. You get a womans number, wait a few days and call. Only to find out the number is wrong, or she doesn't answer or return the call. It gives false hope and is frustrating. I have had a few women over the years, when asked, tell me "I'm sorry, I don't give out my number", or even flat out "I'm flattered, but not interested". It actually felt a lot better. In those case, I've said "thanks for you honesty. good luck". Of course, sure there's some guys who'd go bonkers face to face, so I get the point.
udolipixie Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 While they may 'think' it's an easier let down. It is not. It's an easy/easier let down to some and it's not an easy/easier let down to some. Toss up on which is the majority.
d'Arthez Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 While they may 'think' it's an easier let down. It is not. You get a womans number, wait a few days and call. Only to find out the number is wrong, or she doesn't answer or return the call. It gives false hope and is frustrating. This has ruined a few weeks of my life - it was the first time I expressed interest in a girl. She had the perfect opportunity to simply say "Not interested" (we knew each other for quite some time, so it is not like we had no idea who we were), and I would have accepted that. I never have held her in high regard since. 1
nessaaa Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I do that sometimes. I dont reply to texts until I feel like talking or have nothing else to do/bored. we give it to you because it's easier to just give it then having to make up some excuse.
Imajerk17 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 While they may 'think' it's an easier let down. It is not. You get a womans number, wait a few days and call. Only to find out the number is wrong, or she doesn't answer or return the call. It gives false hope and is frustrating. I have had a few women over the years, when asked, tell me "I'm sorry, I don't give out my number", or even flat out "I'm flattered, but not interested". It actually felt a lot better. In those case, I've said "thanks for you honesty. good luck". Of course, sure there's some guys who'd go bonkers face to face, so I get the point. Women don't do this out of consideration for YOUR feelings perservere, they do it for THEIRS. They are doing what is easier *for them* and NOT what is kinder for you. It's just easier for them to give you their number and ignore you than it is to be honest and say no thank you. That confrontation is hard, it will make her feel bad to see someone else feel bad in front of her, and does she owe it to you? You're a stranger! All you did was talk to her for a few minutes. It's not all bad. What, would you rather she let you take her out on a date when she knows she isn't interested? At least by her blowing you off you didn't waste a cent on her. G_d bless udolpixie. Seriously. I'd never want to date a girl like her, but her being on here is like getting to talk to that girl who blew you off. And I think she is right on here and gave us some valuable insights. 2
udolipixie Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 G_d bless udolpixie. Seriously. I'd never want to date a girl like her, but her being on here is like getting to talk to that girl who blew you off. And I think she is right on here and gave us some valuable insights. Different perceptions as I highly doubt I'm like gals who blow guys off in consideration of her feelings or his feelings. I couldn't care less out how he feels and I deal right at the moment rejections* that others have labeled 'harsh', 'cruel', and 'blunt'. * with the exception of gal pal games
Imajerk17 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 The answer is pretty obvious. Back say 30 years ago, before voicemail, answering machines, and caller ID, getting a woman's phone number as long as it was real, was basically a guarantee of getting to talk to her again. Even if she was never interested or she happened to change her mind. See she couldn't screen her calls so you pretty much could keep trying her until either you got her. (And most people cannot give a "fake" number without looking incredibly guilty.) Nowadays though it is very easy to screen unwanted contact. If she doesn't want to talk to you these days, she doesn't have to.
Imajerk17 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Different perceptions as I highly doubt I'm like gals who blow guys off in consideration of her feelings or his feelings. I couldn't care less out how he feels and I deal right at the moment rejections* that others have labeled 'harsh', 'cruel', and 'blunt'. * with the exception of gal pal games You admit to doing things such as the games with your gal pals, that most women would never admit to. Right on! (Not to playing these games but to admitting to play these games.) I still stand that the reason I gave as to why MOST women (maybe not you, but most other women) give a number to a guy whom they have no intention of talking to again.
Imajerk17 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Different perceptions as I highly doubt I'm like gals who blow guys off in consideration of her feelings or his feelings. I couldn't care less out how he feels and I deal right at the moment rejections* that others have labeled 'harsh', 'cruel', and 'blunt'. * with the exception of gal pal games So out of curiosity, which guys get the blunt rejection and which ones are getting your number only to be laughed at later?
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I give out my number and not answer any of his texts and calls because I didn't have genuine interest in the guy rather playing a game with gal pals to amuse myself. The game being giving out your number and seeing who has the most guys repeatedly call then playing the voicemails for laughs. A gal giving her number meaning genuine interest probably hasn't changed. Rather the other reasons for a gal giving her number has increased- fear of confrontation (many guys can't handle rejection without insults or violence) or fear of rejecting face-to-face (many gals think not answering is an easier letdown). This is pretty much it. Guys have no idea what women have to deal with when they have to reject guys. Nothing wrong with using numbers to play a game either. It's harmless. No reason for people to get all bent out of shape over it. It's all for fun.
lso802 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 It happens. Don't take it personally. If she doesn't answer your calls or texts, simply move on.
udolipixie Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 You admit to doing things such as the games with your gal pals, that most women would never admit to. Right on! (Not to playing these games but to admitting to play these games.) I still stand that the reason I gave as to why MOST women (maybe not you, but most other women) give a number to a guy whom they have no intention of talking to again. 'You admit to doing things such as the games with your gal pals, that most women would never admit to' seems to be working on the assumption that most women have such things to admit to. It may be your experience that most women play such games however it's not a definitive statement or general truth as I haven't seen facts stating so. Quite unsure why you're telling me you still stand to that reason when I never made any judgment on your reason.
udolipixie Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 So out of curiosity, which guys get the blunt rejection and which ones are getting your number only to be laughed at later? Guys get 'blunt' rejection - The ones that aren't around when gal games start Guys get number to be laughed at later * - The ones that are around when gal games start * Bit misleading as some are laughed at and some are dismissed
Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) 'You admit to doing things such as the games with your gal pals, that most women would never admit to' seems to be working on the assumption that most women have such things to admit to. It may be your experience that most women play such games however it's not a definitive statement or general truth as I haven't seen facts stating so. Quite unsure why you're telling me you still stand to that reason when I never made any judgment on your reason. I'll repeat: The women the guys really want to date and who aren't returning communication, are NOT malicious and do not play the cruel games you play. Indeed, it is as I said before: They give out their number and not return communication to avoid having to actively reject someone and witness the guy's reaction. The women aren't thinking so much about the guy's feelings (i.e., his frustration in the coming week as he slowly comes to realize that the number he got is no good) so much as they are really thinking of their own feelings. The women just want to extricate themselves from an awkward situation with as little drama as possible. I think it's awful that you play the games you play. I applaud you for at least admitting to being a biatch and for giving us guys some insight as to what goes on in a biatch's mind though. Edited June 2, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
borkus Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Some of the posts surprise me. I thought the thread was going to be between people who think that blowing someone off is rude versus people who think that the right to privacy justifies the silent treatment. Usually, the people who defend silent rejection do so because they want to avoid the awkwardness of rejection and to allow the other person to save face. Mocking someone who called you is far from saving face. I remember when I was really inexperienced. I called this girl. When the girl picked up, I heard her roommate laugh in the background. When I left a message, the girl would never return my message. When she did pick up the phone, either the girl or her roommate would be laughing. I know this woman on another website who believes in silent rejection. She would never mock a guy for showing interest in her. If she didn't like some guy, she would just cut him off. This topic about playing gal games and rejecting people bluntly came out of left field. Mocking someone who shows interest in you shows a lack of gratitude. Whether I'm attracted to them or not, I take it as a compliment that someone was interested in me as long as they were not crass about it. About rejecting guys bluntly, I hope udolipixie rejects guys in her social circle differently compared to random guys who approach her. I heard how this girl rejected a guy in her social circle by telling him not to send her any more Facebook messages. I never understood udol's post about rejecting guys by saying that she doesn't want to interact with them.
udolipixie Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) I'll repeat: The women the guys really want to date and who aren't returning communication, are NOT malicious and do not play the cruel games you play. It's not repeation as you didn't stae the above before you may have implied it which I may have missed. You said 'You admit to doing things such as the games with your gal pals, that most women would never admit to' seeming as if most women had games to admit to. I know the reason you said before as that is what you repeated telling me you still stand by that unsure why when I never made any judgment on it. Edited June 2, 2012 by udolipixie
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