ex broke no contact and very eloquently blamed me for the breakup

[foolishlover]

So its been a month and my ex contacted me. Without getting in too much detail of the break up, some important facts are:

 

* we were on and off for 6 months.

* something i said i couldnt stand was the silent treatment. Everytime he got angry, he would shut me out and admitted it was to punish me. I would have to grovel and make it all right again

* He lied to me about contacting other people he met at clubs and had messages back and forth for half a year.

* He used to yell at me a lot

 

Anyway, I said if he lied again or yelled at me again, I would walk (this was when he asked me back after our 2nd break up or so). He said he would never do such a thing again. Low and behold, a month into it, he turned into the same old self. I walked and said i cant let you treat me like this.

 

I love him. Despite walking away, i love him to bits, but just cant let him treat me so poorly. He messages me basically saying this was all my choice. It was my choice to walk and it wasnt the outcome he wanted. He never said he was unhappy and it was all me. I chose this outcome so i should bear it.

 

I read it and felt devastated. Yes i did walk...but i felt i walked cause i had no other choice...i was forced to. I could not stop crying and hearing from the ex only brought me back to square one.

 

What are your opinions guys? Have you ever had to leave when you really didnt want to but felt it was the right thing to do for yourself? I am copping all of it and it is so painful

[Philosoraptor]

I don't see the issue here. You left because you were treated poorly and wouldn't take it anymore. Who cares what he says? You've seen his actions and know his words are useless.

[foolishlover]

it just makes me feel bad. Like i love him and had to leave cause i was treated like crap. But in a way, he made it as if i brought all this sadness to myself. I chose to break up so its all my fault for being where we are now.

 

Does he not understand how he drove me to this?

 

It just makes me sad....a bit angry....

 

but hopefully that is the last i hear from him cause it makes it impossible to move on if not.

 

Thank you philosraptor. I really appreciate your comments

[Philosoraptor]

I know the feeling of wanting someone to see the truth. In time you will see that their inability to accept any blame will continue to be their downfall in the future while you will have taken the time to learn and grow from this experience.

 

You'd swear I was the antichrist if you listened to my ex.

[Frank13]

but hopefully that is the last i hear from him cause it makes it impossible to move on if not.

 

 

Block his number so he can't message you. Your ex is manipulating you and he knows this. Placing the blame on you is something a narcissist does. He is too full of himself. He knows why you walked and he is blaming you for the outcome? What a jackass.

[Radu]

So its been a month and my ex contacted me. Without getting in too much detail of the break up, some important facts are:

 

* we were on and off for 6 months.

* something i said i couldnt stand was the silent treatment. Everytime he got angry, he would shut me out and admitted it was to punish me. I would have to grovel and make it all right again

* He lied to me about contacting other people he met at clubs and had messages back and forth for half a year.

* He used to yell at me a lot

 

Anyway, I said if he lied again or yelled at me again, I would walk (this was when he asked me back after our 2nd break up or so). He said he would never do such a thing again. Low and behold, a month into it, he turned into the same old self. I walked and said i cant let you treat me like this.

 

I love him. Despite walking away, i love him to bits, but just cant let him treat me so poorly. He messages me basically saying this was all my choice. It was my choice to walk and it wasnt the outcome he wanted. He never said he was unhappy and it was all me. I chose this outcome so i should bear it.

 

I read it and felt devastated. Yes i did walk...but i felt i walked cause i had no other choice...i was forced to. I could not stop crying and hearing from the ex only brought me back to square one.

 

What are your opinions guys? Have you ever had to leave when you really didnt want to but felt it was the right thing to do for yourself? I am copping all of it and it is so painful

 

 

He sounds immature and selfish, kinda like a spoiled brat.

I hope you feel better after dumping him.

[foolishlover]

Block his number so he can't message you. Your ex is manipulating you and he knows this. Placing the blame on you is something a narcissist does. He is too full of himself. He knows why you walked and he is blaming you for the outcome? What a jackass.

 

FRANK! I am surprised you said narcissist. I always suspected he has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I always felt he had many of those symptoms but obviously i can confirm since im no expert.

 

But i do feel he is shifting blame. And one of the reasons I did walk was because he began to lose any empathy or ability to self reflect. EVERYTHING was my fault. I would just try to patch it up and be the bigger person but it got worse and worse.

 

Sometimes i feel im glad that i am out of it cause i dont need that drama he creates.