mark7708 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I've been seeing this girl for just over 2 months, we recently got back from a spontaneous little one night trip, the day after she asked me to go camping with her mam and dad for a couple of days in a few weeks, and we're going to a few gigs together (James Morrison etc..) She went out on the night a while back and met this guy that does gigs in random places (she's doing music in college and loves watching live music) he's been texting her lately, (I trust her and she kind of told me about him) just no guy just wants to be friends with a girl he met in a bar right, so I'm kind of on my toes about him Were going for a meal tonight with my parents and he's playing at a bar tonight My question is should I ask if she wants to go see him play afterwards or try to avoid the show And should I get him on Facebook or something and tell him to back off, I'm not a jealous kind of guy and she's got a few guy friends that doesn't bother me at all just this guys a little bit funny to me.
wordrock Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) You are jealous and you are insecure if you're posting about it. Trying to tell the guy to leave her alone or whining about him to her makes you look like a scared little boy. I've been through all this ****, this is what works and make you look good as well: Go to the gig WITH her. Make sure to be close to her. Put your arm around her and give her a kiss, or whatever it is you normally do when you're trying to be affectionate in public. Don't do anything you wouldn't normally do. Don't stand there and sulk or shoot the guy dirty looks. Look at him as you would a dancing baby. As though he is not threat at all. After his performance, go up and talk to him with her. Be friendly, say hello, ask about his music, etc... when you're doing this keep your hands to yourself. Don't get clingy here. Don't say anything bad about him then or later, say you thought he seemed like a nice guy and then change the subject. The primary thing through out all of this is to not show jealousy or any insecurity. That and the image of you two together happy is usually plenty enough to shoo flies away if there's any intent like that. It also makes you look confident and attractive to your girl. Now, after that's done with, you should work on why you feel so threatened by other guys (her other guy friends don't count. She knew them before you, no? That's why you don't feel threatened by them. This guy is new). My guess is that you've got some confidence and self esteem issues. I think you should try working those out as they can be very destructive to a relationship. If for some reason this doesn't work and he does try to pull any crap with her later (very likely if you act intimidated or worried around him) and she doesn't laugh at him and tell him "No thanks" or "**** off", then forget about her. Don't even bother arguing about it or whatever. People are going to be how they're going to be. If she doesn't have the sense to show respect to you, then she's not worth the trouble. Attractive girls get attention like this constantly... not just when she tells you. If she does it once, she'll do it again. Not worth the stress of ending up in a LTR with a person like that, TRUST ME. Edited May 31, 2012 by wordrock 2
Author mark7708 Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Thanks man yeah that was what I was thinking and I definitely have got to work on things I've been treated like crap before just thought I'd get some other view points on the situation see if taking her to the guys gig was a good idea or not anyway thanks again man
Recommended Posts