audiojunky Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 My girlfriend and I have been having a lot of fights lately. It has gotten to the point where I am wondering if I should stay in the relationship because I feel she is inconsiderate and way too critical of me. I feel like I try to do everything right but I just end up getting some response from her that tells me that she is annoyed and doesn't appreciate my focus on the relationship. Today the fight was over the miscommunication of a text message. She sent me a message saying that her roomate "accosted" her. Being that it was in text, and being that I know she has been having problems dealing with her roomate (constantly saying that the girl is crazy), I texted and called her a bit worried. I had a worried voice on the phone and she took it as if I was being nasty to her. She screamed at me and asked me why I was talking to her like that, and hung up the phone. I called her back and had to listen to her explain to me that none of her friends took it the way I did, and that she can't believe that I "don't know her well enough" to get a joke. I tried to explain to her that she was being real nasty for chewing me out over me being concerned and that I would never act nasty to her. All this comes as I pack my bags to move and join her in my home city. I feel like I don't know what my next step should be. A break? Completely discard the relationship? I just feel really insulted and under appreciated by the way she responds to me. I haven't called or talked to her since I hung up the phone today... and I feel like I should not be the first one to make a move to call her.
johan Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 I agree with you that she kind of freaked out on you. The only thing I can say is that in a real long-term relationship, these are the kinds of things you have to overcome. Maybe you aren't thinking marriage, but you should at least see if you can get her to listen to you about some of these things. If you really let her know how these things are affecting you and what you need from her, with NO mention of "or else I'll have to break up with you", you may find she can get a grip. Or if nothing changes, then you can leave her knowing that she wasn't really trying to understand. These are important skills. On the other hand, if you don't really love her, then definitely move on.
J_weik Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Honestly, If you have a problem, talk to her about it. Sit her down and explain to her how you feel. If you love this women, then you should do just that. Don't just give up on it. I was in a relationship and i was a realy controlling a**h***. She never sat me down and told me what she felt, she just kept it inside, and i wish she wouldn't have because now shes gone, and i have only my self to blame.
msrealdoll Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Fighting is making me think twice.-as well it should. Some people tend to start taking their partner for granted. They talk to them in a tone of voice they'd never use on their friends. They engage in name-calling. They become rude and hostile very easily. I see it happen all the time. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Talk to your girlfriend openly, and tell her how this behavior makes you feel. Tell her it's very unappealing no matter who she's talking to. Make it a rule-that you will treat each other respectfully. If she can't abide by it, break up with her. Part of being in a relationship is compromise. You're not asking her to compromise her principles, but asking her to do something that will benefit her as much as it will you. You can't be the only person she behaves this way with. Her other relationships will benefit from this, also.
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