ThaWholigan Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Saw this very interesting post, very short, and a congratulatory one, but made me think for a minute! another example that patience is what you need if you want to attract quality. Now, a lot of people seem to be very impatient about their desires and are either very bitter and angry that things aren't going their way - or they are morose and bleak, losing hope and think nothings going to happen. I realize that I am but a young man, but I also live amongst a generation of people that are very all-or-nothing in nature, and live for instant gratification. I have no dating experience and yet I am relatively confident that things will change for me. Maybe not right now, but soon. Then I realized that in the grand scheme of things, I have a great deal of patience when it comes to dealing with things. Do any of you feel like you have no patience with the dating game? Or trying to make it fun, or reframing it to look different to you? 1
Philosoraptor Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I agree that patience is hard in this world as so many will grab just to have rather than waiting for what they want. It seems that settling has become rampant among the younger generation just to have someone as society is quick to look down at single folk. I think it all comes down to being happy within yourself. When you have that you won't compromise your own desires out of "need" but rather have the patience to wait until someone comes along that fulfills those desires. It might not always work but you are much more likely to find a good fit by being patient and observing with a clear head than jumping at the first one who will say yes.
Emilia Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Do any of you feel like you have no patience with the dating game? Or trying to make it fun, or reframing it to look different to you? I'm making myself patient. My libido drives me I have to admit, it's not always the most comfortable feeling BUT I want a quality man so I keep looking and I'm being patient.
Emilia Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I agree that patience is hard in this world as so many will grab just to have rather than waiting for what they want. It seems that settling has become rampant among the younger generation just to have someone as society is quick to look down at single folk. Not just the younger generation, there is a lot of pressure on women in general I think. I get the 'can't believe you are single' line ALL THE TIME and not just from prospective suitors. Then I look at the partners others settled for and I keep quiet 1
Philosoraptor Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Not just the younger generation, there is a lot of pressure on women in general I think. I get the 'can't believe you are single' line ALL THE TIME and not just from prospective suitors. Then I look at the partners others settled for and I keep quiet I'd agree with you but I wouldn't call it gender specific. I got the same line all the time from friends, family, and people I just met. I was just tired of dating people just to date and decided to wait for someone I thought I'd like to date seriously.
Emilia Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I'd agree with you but I wouldn't call it gender specific. I got the same line all the time from friends, family, and people I just met. I was just tired of dating people just to date and decided to wait for someone I thought I'd like to date seriously. You are right. There is pressure on men to get laid and pressure on women to get a boyfriend.
zengirl Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I always had a mix of urgency and patience --- no desire to 'waste' time if I felt I was spinning my wheels, but sometimes there's nothing you can do but trust and wait. You have to have patience, but you also have to be able to take quick, decisive action at times too.
Imajerk17 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Very interesting! I think that a lot of the results I got in life (including social skills) were that I was so driven and *ahem* impatient. It made me work harder to get what I wanted. But I had a lot of angst along the way, that might have been mitigated if I had understood that this is all a process, if had been more patient.
lino Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I think that patience is indeed important but waiting too long for things to 'just get better' can have some nasty consequences. And like some others have said, people around you have certain expectations of you within certain time frames. Just look at how negatively guys with very little experience are thought of!
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