How does the dating and sex thing actually work?

[fortyninethousand322]

1. What does she look for in a man? What qualities does she find most attractive? What qualities repel her the most?

 

2. What was her worst and best high school memory?

 

3. What was her worst and best childhood memory?

 

4. What has been her biggest life regret thus far?

 

5. What has been her greatest life moment so far?

 

6. Describe Dani in a full paragraph. Who is she? What makes her tick?

 

Who in the world would know those things about anyone? I've been friends with people for over a decade in some cases and don't know that stuff about them.

 

I sure as heck would never share those things with friends or someone I was dating. Is this really the types of things people share with each other?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Mme. Chaucer thinks I always talk about boobs no matter whom I'm with. But of course if a girl knew that I was always preoccupied with boobs, the last response she should ever give is because her boobs are too big. That would be adding fuel to the fire.

 

I think that when people are talking with other people, especially "friends," they should be free to say what's on their mind. And then, to have the "friend" respect their feelings and boundaries when discussing an obviously sensitive subject.

[Lonely Ronin]

I sure as heck would never share those things with friends or someone I was dating. Is this really the types of things people share with each other?

 

Yes, this is the type of thing you share with close friends, or someone you have been dating/seeing for a while. When you know stuff like this, you know how to cheer someone up, and what topics of conversation should be avoided because they are sensitive subjects.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yes, this is the type of thing you share with close friends, or someone you have been dating/seeing for a while. When you know stuff like this, you know how to cheer someone up, and what topics of conversation should be avoided because they are sensitive subjects.

 

"Greatest life moment", "best and worst childhood memory", "best high school memory"? Really?

 

Heck my good friends and I just tell dirty (sometimes dark) jokes, watch ball games or talk about horrible movies we've seen. Or share some humorous/horrible event in our lives. We don't share our "feelings" like we're in a psychiatrists office.

 

Maybe I'm doing this whole thing wrong...

[zengirl]

"Greatest life moment", "best and worst childhood memory", "best high school memory"? Really?

 

Heck my good friends and I just tell dirty (sometimes dark) jokes, watch ball games or talk about horrible movies we've seen. Or share some humorous/horrible event in our lives. We don't share our "feelings" like we're in a psychiatrists office.

 

Maybe I'm doing this whole thing wrong...

 

It's not like you ASK that question - it's just something you learn over time when you get to know people well and hear their humorous/horrible stories over time and so forth. And I wouldn't suggest it's true with everyone you know, but with someone you consider yourself truly close to, generally, you'd know some of those. Now some people may not HAVE any particularly great/bad HS memories or whatever, and a certain category may not apply.

[jobaba]

1. What does she look for in a man? What qualities does she find most attractive? What qualities repel her the most?

 

2. What was her worst and best high school memory?

 

3. What was her worst and best childhood memory?

 

4. What has been her biggest life regret thus far?

 

5. What has been her greatest life moment so far?

 

6. Describe Dani in a full paragraph. Who is she? What makes her tick?

 

"Greatest life moment", "best and worst childhood memory", "best high school memory"? Really?

 

Heck my good friends and I just tell dirty (sometimes dark) jokes, watch ball games or talk about horrible movies we've seen. Or share some humorous/horrible event in our lives. We don't share our "feelings" like we're in a psychiatrists office.

 

Maybe I'm doing this whole thing wrong...

 

I see Meek's point. Did he really know her, but...

 

I'm not even sure I could answer those questions about myself let alone someone I've dated. I don't really have a really good or bad childhood or high school moment. I have regrets but not one big one.

 

But #6, you should definitely be able to answer for anybody you want to enter into a serious relationship with.

[Lonely Ronin]

"Greatest life moment", "best and worst childhood memory", "best high school memory"? Really?

 

These are just examples, people don't just ask questions like this directly. Things like this come out more indirectly. I think women share this type of stuff more freely than men do, but still stuff comes out over time.

 

I'd bet my next paycheck if SD knew D better, he would have found out she got picked on relentless early in puberty, hence the reason she was sensitive any time the conversation turned to her chest. Additionally if he socialized more, he would know people some times bring up something they are really sensitive about as a defense mechanism.

[fortyninethousand322]

It's not like you ASK that question - it's just something you learn over time when you get to know people well and hear their humorous/horrible stories over time and so forth. And I wouldn't suggest it's true with everyone you know, but with someone you consider yourself truly close to, generally, you'd know some of those. Now some people may not HAVE any particularly great/bad HS memories or whatever, and a certain category may not apply.

 

These are just examples, people don't just ask questions like this directly. Things like this come out more indirectly. I think women share this type of stuff more freely than men do, but still stuff comes out over time.

 

Maybe. I think some people just share more freely than others. Or at least they are more discriminate in who they share things with.

 

 

I'd bet my next paycheck if SD knew D better, he would have found out she got picked on relentless early in puberty, hence the reason she was sensitive any time the conversation turned to her chest. Additionally if he socialized more, he would know people some times bring up something they are really sensitive about as a defense mechanism.

 

Quite possible. And I don't think that interaction made it or broke it with D. I think the horse had long left the barn by that point.

 

As far as "defense mechanisms" and the like, I don't know if that is a product of having practice socializing or just being intuitive. I don't think I've ever tried to psychoanalyze my interactions with others to look for defense mechanisms someone might have (or for personality patterns or whatever). Like most people, I take what people say at face value (within reason of course). If someone tells me they hate swimming, I just assume they don't like it. I'm not going to try to figure out if it's because they almost drowned when they were 4 and they've been scared of water ever since.

 

Some people though, can tell those things with intuition.

 

But #6, you should definitely be able to answer for anybody you want to enter into a serious relationship with.

 

Probably. Although, after two months of dating you probably won't know them as well as you would after 10 years of marriage for example.

[zengirl]

Maybe. I think some people just share more freely than others. Or at least they are more discriminate in who they share things with.

 

Sure, but after 2 years, if someone is a close friend - someone you're THAT attached to as a person - you'd know a lot. SD wasn't that attached to D, though, just the idea of her.

[somedude81]

1. What does she look for in a man? What qualities does she find most attractive? What qualities repel her the most?

 

2. What was her worst and best high school memory?

 

3. What was her worst and best childhood memory?

 

4. What has been her biggest life regret thus far?

 

5. What has been her greatest life moment so far?

 

6. Describe Dani in a full paragraph. Who is she? What makes her tick?

Wow, I can't even answer 2-5 about myself and I've never told anybody about, except for probably a therapist.

 

Frankly, I don't know 2-5 about anybody on this world not even including my parents nor the closest friends I have ever had. Those topics are just not ones that come up in conversation unless you're writing a biography about somebody.

 

As for #1, she wasn't look for a man. At 22 she never had a BF and was a virgin and just not really interested in men beyond that some of them were hot. I just don't think she was emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship.

It's not like you ASK that question - it's just something you learn over time when you get to know people well and hear their humorous/horrible stories over time and so forth. And I wouldn't suggest it's true with everyone you know, but with someone you consider yourself truly close to, generally, you'd know some of those. Now some people may not HAVE any particularly great/bad HS memories or whatever, and a certain category may not apply.

Ah so that's how it happens.

 

I've never been much of a story teller and never knew anybody who liked to tell them.

These are just examples, people don't just ask questions like this directly. Things like this come out more indirectly. I think women share this type of stuff more freely than men do, but still stuff comes out over time.

 

I'd bet my next paycheck if SD knew D better, he would have found out she got picked on relentless early in puberty, hence the reason she was sensitive any time the conversation turned to her chest. Additionally if he socialized more, he would know people some times bring up something they are really sensitive about as a defense mechanism.

How would the topic of her getting picked on ever come up? I certainly didn't want her to remember and think about negative aspects of her life when she was with me.

 

As for being sensitive about her looks, she used to be very overweight until a few years before I met her. So it would not surprise me if she was picked on, even after losing the weight she was still insecure about her body and that's one of the reasons why she never wear shorts. Heck, when we went to the beach she wore a t-shirt and jeans, adamantly refusing not to wear a swimsuit. One thing she told me, which was probably the major key, was that she wished she would have been a guy instead. And now I realize why she could have felt embarrassed about her breasts, which may have always reminded her that she was a girl and they were almost impossible to hide.

 

I felt bad for her and wished I could show her how great it is to be a woman. I wanted her to feel good and be happy.

 

I think that's enough about her. I've said everything that I wanted. Mistakes were made on both our parts. I also think fate played a little trick on me. It's almost the same thing as a woman meeting the man of her dreams, spending time with him, falling in love, then finding out he's gay.

[zengirl]

I certainly didn't want her to remember and think about negative aspects of her life when she was with me.

 

Then you didn't want her to be a person and you weren't close. Seriously. You were more concerned with getting somewhere with her than KNOWING her, which was the point Meeks was making.

 

As to stories and being a storyteller . . . it just naturally happens when you socialize. If you can't tell a decent story, that's something to work on. I suspect others you know DO tell stories, though perhaps not with you.

[DreamerDeceiver]

I felt bad for her and wished I could show her how great it is to be a woman. I wanted her to feel good and be happy. I think that's enough about her. I've said everything that I wanted. Mistakes were made on both our parts. I also think fate played a little trick on me.

 

This. I think alot of guys can sympathize with how you feel here. I feel like fate played a little trick on me as well. You're on the right path, which is to just accept it and move on. Find another girl to occupy your mind and practice your skillz you'll feel alot better in no time.

[Lonely Ronin]

As far as "defense mechanisms" and the like, I don't know if that is a product of having practice socializing or just being intuitive. I don't think I've ever tried to psychoanalyze my interactions with others to look for defense mechanisms someone might have (or for personality patterns or whatever). Like most people, I take what people say at face value (within reason of course).

 

That's not quite what i mean. for example, I used to know a woman who refused to wear anything but dresses. One day when a bunch of us went out for drinks she commented that she was freezing. I made a snide comment like you wouldn't have that problem if you put some pants on. she immediately fired back with something like I haven't worn jeans since I was a tomboy. That response stuck with me, because it was not what I was expecting.

 

It wasn't till many months later, that I learned she got picked on a lot when she was young for not being girly. Thus as an adult she subconsciously tries to always be very girly. He defense mechanism (they are usually subconscious) was making the tomboy comment. In other words she was saying in sensitive about not appearing feminine, so watch your step. This all got firmed later when i knew her better.

[Lonely Ronin]

I think that's enough about her. I've said everything that I wanted. Mistakes were made on both our parts.

 

So then I pose this question to you. what have you learned from this failed relationship?

[Els]

I felt bad for her and wished I could show her how great it is to be a woman. I wanted her to feel good and be happy.

 

I think that's enough about her. I've said everything that I wanted. Mistakes were made on both our parts.

 

TBH, of all the posts you've made over the past several months, this is honestly the only one that resounded with me and makes me think that beneath all the crappy **** you say about women in general, a genuine guy with a good heart might possibly exist.

 

I'm happy for you that you can admit to having made mistakes with her. I just hope you can work on preventing yourself from making the same mistakes in the future.

[jobaba]

How would the topic of her getting picked on ever come up? I certainly didn't want her to remember and think about negative aspects of her life when she was with me.

 

It just comes up when people spend a lot of time together and they feel comfortable with you.

 

The last woman I fell for told me about the times she was picked on in high school by the popular girls.

 

That among other things really drew me to her. It made me see her as more modest and more likely to pick someone based on personality rather than physical attractiveness.

 

Wrong and wrong. Haha.

[bac]

[quote=fortyninethousand322;4128696

 

We don't share our "feelings" like we're in a psychiatrists office.

 

Maybe I'm doing this whole thing wrong...

 

In a perfect situation, you do not share your feelings in a psychiatrist's office because you share the feelings with your partner or close friends or someone you have true emotional intimacy with. Share your feelings with people who really love you is more natural and rewarding way to survive emotionally than sharing your feelings with a professional who does not give a f....k for you and just cares to get your money.

 

A therapist is a paid substitute of parents and real friends. If your parents had emotional intimacy with you and cared to give you some reasonable guidance, you would not even understand why someone might need a therapist. In many other countries except the USA, people do not normally have therapists for everyday advice and emotional support.

Edited July 19, 2012 by bac

[Meeks7]

Wow, I can't even answer 2-5 about myself and I've never told anybody about, except for probably a therapist.

 

Frankly, I don't know 2-5 about anybody on this world not even including my parents nor the closest friends I have ever had. Those topics are just not ones that come up in conversation unless you're writing a biography about somebody.

 

Again, it's like not you ask the person DIRECTLY these questions, but they're things you pick up on subtly if you've had any sort of in-depth conversations with a friend at length. And yes, girls are more likely to be open to discussing matters like this whereas guys tend to talk more about gadgets, cars, sports, women etc. than "life experiences." Not saying some guys don't talk about "life experiences" more than other guys, but you get the picture.

 

I'm not surprised you are not able to answer the majority of these questions. Like I said, I don't get the sense that you knew her half as well as you like to believe. I think your mind formulated an idea of who she was, and you were so fixated on the Dani you MADE UP in your mind. It's not your fault or anything. You just haven't had any real sort of friendships in the past to help teach you. That's why we keep telling you making and maintaining PLATONIC friendships (with guys, and girls, but at this point, I'd suggest a combination in the same group) is so vital for you going forward.

 

You might be wondering "Where can I find a group of friends that is both male and female?" I don't know how you feel about it, but a young adult church small group might do you wonders. They're often very friendly, very welcoming and you would get a lot of support. You should check it out. You can go bowling, hiking, camping or board game nights with them. It would be a good step for you, if nothing else, to try it a couple times and see what you can learn from those experiences.

 

Also, you said you could answer question 6. Yet you have not. I'd love for you to, and find it interesting that you said you could answer #6 but chose not to.

 

You were really gung-ho about me asking you questions about Dani. But you weren't quite ready for the questions fired your way. Sorry to say this but here's some truth for ya: it's ironic that this happened. I feel it's the same way for you in relationships. You are really gung-ho to have a girlfriend right now, but the boyfriend requirements are over your head presently. Until you address some core issues, you will not develop into the kind of person you would want to be in order to ATTRACT females to date you.

 

Take this as a sign, man. You were gung-ho on answering some Dani questions, probably because you thought they were going to be of a certain type. i.e. "Who was her favorite ninja turtle?" But what you got instead flew over your head. The same with this whole GF thing. You want one badly, you're very gung-ho about it, but you're not prepared yet like how you would need to be.

 

Until you work on preparing yourself better (i.e. having better social skills and more empathy, which would come with actually developing platonic friendships), you will remain single. Right now you are hopelessly banging a square peg into a triangle hole. You have been doing this now for YEARS, and you're only hurting YOURSELF.

 

Seriously, this should give you some serious food for thought.

 

You don't win an olympic event without intense training.

 

You need to train yourself in the arena of social skills. So go meet some people and learn more about YOURSELF as well as OTHERS.

 

I wanted her to feel good and be happy.

 

This sounds nice and good, but I think there's a little BIG thing you forgot to mention here. I'll rephrase it for you

 

I wanted her to feel good and be happy... well AS LONG AS IT MAKES ME HAPPY TOO.

 

I say this because I remember you saying you would "do anything" for her... except leave her alone. Yet that was her only request... for you to leave her alone. If you really wanted her to feel good and be happy, you would have gracefully bowed out. Instead, you acted like a child who didn't get his favorite toy, and you were adamant on not leaving her alone. That's not truly caring for someone. That's caring for only yourself. It's incredibly selfish, immature and that's why I say your infatuation of her became a monster and you didn't really know her.

 

Not trying to hate on you here, but this is what I've been observing. As someone who cares, I need to point these "blind spots" out to you as food for thought. If no one tells you, you might never learn.

 

So chew on this post. Listen to what many of us are saying. As hard as it may be, you got to learn how to walk before you learn how to run. Make platonic healthy friends first, before you think about getting a girlfriend. Your social skills are very poor right now, and they are the key to having a healthy relationship, or quite frankly, any kind of relationship at all.

 

As for your lack of story telling ability, look into taking a speaking class. If you've already done one in the past, take another one. There might be a specific STORY TELLING class at your college, so look for it. I took STORY TELLING (specifically) in college and it was one of my favorite classes. I'm pretty sure your college has one as well.

 

Finally, FTR, I can answer questions 1-6 about Beth, and I did not ask her those questions directly. I just found out about them over time. Our conversations go long and deep. We both love communicating and sharing.

 

Good luck, SomeDude.

[iris219]

Wow, I can't even answer 2-5 about myself and I've never told anybody about, except for probably a therapist.

 

Frankly, I don't know 2-5 about anybody on this world not even including my parents nor the closest friends I have ever had. Those topics are just not ones that come up in conversation unless you're writing a biography about somebody.

 

As for #1, she wasn't look for a man. At 22 she never had a BF and was a virgin and just not really interested in men beyond that some of them were hot. I just don't think she was emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship.

 

Ah so that's how it happens.

 

I've never been much of a story teller and never knew anybody who liked to tell them.

 

How would the topic of her getting picked on ever come up? I certainly didn't want her to remember and think about negative aspects of her life when she was with me.

 

You didn't answer question #1 at all. There were several parts to it.

 

My friends and I don’t talk much about high school (or college, for that matter, really), but I know about their experiences there. As for my ex, I could definitely name good moments and difficult ones from his past (and vice versa), and he wasn’t even a very open person. People confide in people they care about and trust without thinking about it. It just happens.

 

What do you mean that you don't tell stories or talk to people who do? How is that possible? Storytelling is a huge part of social interactions. How can you avoid telling stories?

[fortyninethousand322]

That's not quite what i mean. for example, I used to know a woman who refused to wear anything but dresses. One day when a bunch of us went out for drinks she commented that she was freezing. I made a snide comment like you wouldn't have that problem if you put some pants on. she immediately fired back with something like I haven't worn jeans since I was a tomboy. That response stuck with me, because it was not what I was expecting.

 

It wasn't till many months later, that I learned she got picked on a lot when she was young for not being girly. Thus as an adult she subconsciously tries to always be very girly. He defense mechanism (they are usually subconscious) was making the tomboy comment. In other words she was saying in sensitive about not appearing feminine, so watch your step. This all got firmed later when i knew her better.

 

I would have figured she was just in a bad mood and wouldn't have pressed her on it. Out of sight out of mind.

[fortyninethousand322]

Sure, but after 2 years, if someone is a close friend - someone you're THAT attached to as a person - you'd know a lot. SD wasn't that attached to D, though, just the idea of her.

 

I disagree. This girl doesn't sound like she cared enough to share with SD some of that stuff. He was a hangout buddy nothing more. You don't share your inner thoughts with hangout buddies. If you're the sharing type, you usually share that stuff with people you actually care about.

[jobaba]

I personally disagree with the masses here.

 

You don't have to know a woman inside out and make a connection with her to date you. In fact, that's the wrong way to go about doing things. Chances are, she won't be attracted to you, reject you, and then, you'll be f@cked up from it.

 

I think SD's social skills are good enough now. He's fairly eloquent and has a decent sense of humor. He's more eloquent than several posters here who have never had trouble getting into relationships. He definitely has enough social skills for a woman to give him a chance. Enough game to close the deal? That might be a different story.

 

For SD and anybody else who is whining about not meeting opposite sex members ... meetup groups.

 

A friend of mine took me to his meetup group last weekend and there were probably 3 or 4 single women. I was thinking which one I could ask out, and it would have been easy.

 

But I really don't have time to take women on dates right now. So, I'm letting it sit for a while.

 

Ironically, I somehow do have time to post on LS...

Edited July 19, 2012 by jobaba

[iris219]

I personally disagree with the masses here.

 

You don't have to know a woman inside out and make a connection with her to date you. In fact, that's the wrong way to go about doing things. Chances are, she won't be attracted to you, reject you, and then, you'll be f@cked up from it.

 

I think SD's social skills are good enough now. He's fairly eloquent and has a decent sense of humor. He's more eloquent than several posters here who have never had trouble getting into relationships. He definitely has enough social skills for a woman to give him a chance. Enough game to close the deal? That might be a different story.

 

For SD and anybody else who is whining about not meeting opposite sex members ... meetup groups.

 

A friend of mine took me to his meetup group last weekend and there were probably 3 or 4 single women. I was thinking which one I could ask out, and it would have been easy.

 

But I really don't have time to take women on dates right now. So, I'm letting it sit for a while.

 

Ironically, I somehow do have time to post on LS...

 

This isn't what we're saying. We're saying that after a 2 year friendship, you should know more about a friend than SD knew about D, if they were indeed close friends. Clearly they weren't, but he doesn't seem to realize this.

 

SD's social skills are OK on LS, but I suspect severely lacking IRL. Just the fact that he said he doesn't tell stories or knows anyone who does is baffling. I think it would be quite possible for SD to get a date, if he interacted with age appropriate women, instead of 20 year olds, but I doubt anything beyond that is possible right now.

 

What makes you think SD is going to do a meetup? Haven't you learned that SD doesn't want and will ignore suggestions that require him to DO anything?!

[somedude81]

Then you didn't want her to be a person and you weren't close. Seriously. You were more concerned with getting somewhere with her than KNOWING her, which was the point Meeks was making.

 

As to stories and being a storyteller . . . it just naturally happens when you socialize. If you can't tell a decent story, that's something to work on. I suspect others you know DO tell stories, though perhaps not with you.

No, I didn't want her to have any negative feelings and associate them with me.

This. I think alot of guys can sympathize with how you feel here. I feel like fate played a little trick on me as well. You're on the right path, which is to just accept it and move on. Find another girl to occupy your mind and practice your skillz you'll feel alot better in no time.

Finding another girl to occupy my mind isn't going to be hard, but I want to have different circumstances next time.

So then I pose this question to you. what have you learned from this failed relationship?

The biggest lesson I learned is not to be friends with a woman I like. If she says no, move on. There is no hope in trying to get a girl to fall for me over time.

 

The sad thing is, doing that will only lessen my chances of getting hurt, but will not actually increase my odds of getting a girl.

It just comes up when people spend a lot of time together and they feel comfortable with you.

 

The last woman I fell for told me about the times she was picked on in high school by the popular girls.

 

That among other things really drew me to her. It made me see her as more modest and more likely to pick someone based on personality rather than physical attractiveness.

 

Wrong and wrong. Haha.

Ha! Funny how that turned out.

Again, it's like not you ask the person DIRECTLY these questions, but they're things you pick up on subtly if you've had any sort of in-depth conversations with a friend at length. And yes, girls are more likely to be open to discussing matters like this whereas guys tend to talk more about gadgets, cars, sports, women etc. than "life experiences." Not saying some guys don't talk about "life experiences" more than other guys, but you get the picture.

How do you subtly pick up on somebodies favorite childhood memory or their best life experience?

I'm not surprised you are not able to answer the majority of these questions. Like I said, I don't get the sense that you knew her half as well as you like to believe. I think your mind formulated an idea of who she was, and you were so fixated on the Dani you MADE UP in your mind. It's not your fault or anything. You just haven't had any real sort of friendships in the past to help teach you. That's why we keep telling you making and maintaining PLATONIC friendships (with guys, and girls, but at this point, I'd suggest a combination in the same group) is so vital for you going forward.

I know you want to sound all high and mighty and believe that you were right thinking that I didn't know Dani at all, but did you forget the part where I said that I can't answer 2-5 about anybody on this world not even my parents nor the closest friends I have ever had? How about some reading compression there meeks?

 

Also, you said you could answer question 6. Yet you have not. I'd love for you to, and find it interesting that you said you could answer #6 but chose not to.

Exactly I chose not to. I feel that I've written enough about her.

 

it's ironic that this happened. I feel it's the same way for you in relationships. You are really gung-ho to have a girlfriend right now, but the boyfriend requirements are over your head presently.

I completely disagree with you.

 

I strongly believe that I can meet every requirement to be a great boyfriend.

 

Can anybody explain otherwise?

You didn't answer question #1 at all. There were several parts to it.

What else was there to say?

 

When I asked her about what kind of guys she likes or qualities she values, the only answer she'd give is that she's not interested in dating anybody.

My friends and I don’t talk much about high school (or college, for that matter, really), but I know about their experiences there. As for my ex, I could definitely name good moments and difficult ones from his past (and vice versa), and he wasn’t even a very open person. People confide in people they care about and trust without thinking about it. It just happens.

 

What do you mean that you don't tell stories or talk to people who do? How is that possible? Storytelling is a huge part of social interactions. How can you avoid telling stories?

I've never been much of a story teller. I just don't like talking about my past and I feel I don't have any interesting stories to tell. Also, I don't think I've had anybody sit back and tell me a story, there were better things to do and talk about.

 

I disagree. This girl doesn't sound like she cared enough to share with SD some of that stuff. He was a hangout buddy nothing more. You don't share your inner thoughts with hangout buddies. If you're the sharing type, you usually share that stuff with people you actually care about.

I'm not really sure if that was the case. There were just so many other things to do and talk about than our past. And she did share some of her inner thoughts with me. Talking about the past is pretty awkward and it's not something I'm going to randomly bring up. She may have felt the same.

I personally disagree with the masses here.

 

You don't have to know a woman inside out and make a connection with her to date you. In fact, that's the wrong way to go about doing things. Chances are, she won't be attracted to you, reject you, and then, you'll be f@cked up from it.

 

I think SD's social skills are good enough now. He's fairly eloquent and has a decent sense of humor. He's more eloquent than several posters here who have never had trouble getting into relationships. He definitely has enough social skills for a woman to give him a chance. Enough game to close the deal? That might be a different story.

 

For SD and anybody else who is whining about not meeting opposite sex members ... meetup groups.

 

A friend of mine took me to his meetup group last weekend and there were probably 3 or 4 single women. I was thinking which one I could ask out, and it would have been easy.

 

But I really don't have time to take women on dates right now. So, I'm letting it sit for a while.

 

Ironically, I somehow do have time to post on LS...

Thanks jobaba. A lot of the things everybody was saying just don't make any sense.

This isn't what we're saying. We're saying that after a 2 year friendship, you should know more about a friend than SD knew about D, if they were indeed close friends. Clearly they weren't, but he doesn't seem to realize this.

If all you're basing it on is Meeks questions that I can't even answer about my own brothers, then you have to try again.

[Badsingularity]

 

 

I strongly believe that I can meet every requirement to be a great boyfriend.

 

 

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