InJest Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 They are partially related. Dont talk down to me. Oh please, cut the drama. I wasn't talking down to you, I was just telling you that making a choice to not have sex when you could, and not having sex when you want to, because no one wants to have sex with you are two completely different things. The choice is something you do because you want to, and you're comfortable with it. The second is just something you have to live with, and generally causes some emotional issues..
InJest Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 RedRobin, I value emotional attachment and commitment and all that, but I also want sex, and don't see the the two things as being inextricably bound. I want a high level of compatibility and emotional bond, but if it's not there, I'll take the sex and be on my way. I still hang out with the person and treat them with respect, but at the end of the day we both know it's just sex and we both are having our need met. While I won't say that it's like having sex with someone you're in love with, I have had some very intense sex in some of these 'relationships'. Just because there's no love, doesn't mean you can't learn something from it, and gain something from it. Sex is a skill after all. 2
oaks Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 :mad::mad:im starting to think that alot of sexually active people dont like the thought of grown adults abstaining from sex. I don't see a problem with it - all sorts of people have different views from me about all sorts of things. If some people don't want to have sex that's fine and doesn't seem to be doing me or anybody else any harm (but it might mean that I don't want to date them, because I enjoy sex within a relationship).
kaylan Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) :mad::mad:im starting to think that alot of sexually active people dont like the thought of grown adults abstaining from sex. its basically join the crowd thing. because there arent many of us. some genuinely dont understand because sex is just a normal thing for them to do. im amazed how judgemental and un-accepting people are. i have never told someone not to have sex, if they wished. my believes are my own, i dont know why i have to be ridiculed for them. Honey....its just because weve been where you are. I saved myself for my first love when I was 18. There are plenty of guys who want their first time to be with a girl they love. But then after you do it, you want more of it. Its easy to abstain when you havent had it before. And it really was easy for me not to desire sex when I was a virgin. I didnt know what I was missing...and I had no idea what real passion felt like. Sure I still have a high sex drive as a virgin, and totally masturbated a lot...but I was fine without sex. Nowadays I go bonkers with lust if I go too long without it. And sometimes I wont think straight and Ill be high suggestive with a lot of people. Im a natural flirt anyways. Either way, Sex is a basic human need. For folks with an average to high sex drive, its a need we cannot do without. Sex is natural...and to answer the OP, thats why its so important. Its an innate, highly important physical urge.RedRobin, I value emotional attachment and commitment and all that, but I also want sex, and don't see the the two things as being inextricably bound. I want a high level of compatibility and emotional bond, but if it's not there, I'll take the sex and be on my way. I still hang out with the person and treat them with respect, but at the end of the day we both know it's just sex and we both are having our need met. While I won't say that it's like having sex with someone you're in love with, I have had some very intense sex in some of these 'relationships'. Just because there's no love, doesn't mean you can't learn something from it, and gain something from it. Sex is a skill after all. This. Sex is not inherently love, and love is not inherently sex. Then exist without one another, but can exist with one another. And they most definitely can complement one another. Having both together is great, but not necessary. I can enjoy sex without love, and I can enjoy love without sex. Though of course love without sex would be reserved for family and friends...not romantic partners. Edited May 31, 2012 by kaylan
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