Lindski Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) I am seriously trying to cope with an issue that happened this Memorial Day at my friends wedding. I went with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years and another groomsmen brought a girl with him. During the reception the girl was seated next to me and I paid no mind to it because I was in the bridal party. I am very confident and have had no trust issues with my boyfriend until that night. Everybody had been drinking and partying the whole reception and my boyfriend told me I got mad at him and he didn't know why. Regardless of that after the wedding we rented a hotel room in which we would have to wait for the shuttle bus. I was sitting on the sofa in the lobby and my boyfriend asked several people if they needed to use the bathroom. The girl that came with the groommen offered that she had to go and it was just them two. I didn't know why but something told me to get up and follow. I followed them down the hallway but couldn't see them ahead of me. I went to go straight to the girls bathroom and had decided to go to the mens bathroom. My boyfriend was in the stall and the girl was in there with him and I thought I heard kissing but couldn't see it. I kicked the stall open after a moment. It was not latched. I really do believe I heard kissing and the girl took off. I slapped my boyfriend and I was so hurt I ran out and stayed away from him the whole night. However, I confronted the girl because I felt betrayed. Well, she was sitting there with the groomsmen arm wrapped around her. I wasn't very nice as I was very angry with both people and was told to leave. Alcohol and seeing that definitely wasn't a good combination. My boyfriend had tried to approach me several times that night and I wanted nothing to do with him. I went to his house the next day to get my things and spoke with his mother. She was very surprised and said she knows my boyfriend wouldn't have done that if it weren't for the drinking. I went home and talked to my mom and told her how I had seen the girl follow my boyfriend and how I heard them kissing. My mom said the same thing that we need to calm the drinking down. She did say that the girl had some nerve going into the mens bathroom and her too along with my dad agreed it's a decision I have to make about whether I got back with him. Now, I have spoken with the groomsmen and he told me that the girl that was kissing my boyfriend said she was in the girls bathroom and he came in and tried to kiss her and she left. Stories don't match up. My boyfriend has been very supportive and has told me over and over again that he's sorry. He cried to me about how he'd felt if I decided to cut things off, but he understands. Do I let this slide?? I've been cheated on before and I told myself never again. I'm completely lost. Edited May 30, 2012 by Lindski
Lil1 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 You've been cheated on before. Are you willing to go through it again? Alcohol or not he should not have put himself in that position - what guy asks who else wants to go tto the bathroom?! That's a chick thing isn't it? Was he hammered? Maybe you should have been taking care of him if so.. that does not excuse his actions though. I dont wanna be one of those posters who says dump him right away, but I think you know in your gut that you have lost a lot of trust in him. Is regaining that trust something you want to spend your time with? 3 and a half years is a long time. Do you want to end it over a drunken kiss? I woulda beat the sh*t out of that girl. Kick me out who cares, at least I got the satisfaction of beating your slutty face in lol!! I kid;) Sort of... Ask your man if he would mind if you hooked up with someone else. Level the playing field. LOL! Im probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this to be honest. Cheating of any sort is inexcusable in my book. Once you cheat I lose respect for you. If the respect and the trust are gone what is left? love? There are many good men that can love you and not cheat on you. Good luck and keep us updated! 2
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I would leave him. My partner has been around some of the most beautiful girls in the world, gotten drunk and partied around them, and has never cheated. Your boyfriend wanted to kiss that girl, or he wouldn't have. It has been 3 years. You need to talk to him about what was lacking in your own relationship, to make him want to go outside the relationship and kiss a girl? if you had not caught him he could have gone further with her. In fact, if it were me, I would have waited before I broke into their stall; I would have waited to see if they went further. So you know his true colours ( and hers!) Either way, I hope the girls partner left her - he deserves better. I do not believe people who true, genuine feelings and a strong desire to be together, cheat; very rarely would that happen, short of the girl passing out and getting raped. Being drunk is not an excuse for me. After years together, leaving is harder; staying with him will be easier for you in the short term. However, in the long run, there are guys who will not cheat on you. Why not go through the temporary heart break of leaving your boyfriend, so u can find a guy who adores you and will never cheat on you in the long run? If you stay with him, you avoid the heartbreak of leaving him, but you will be with a cheater; you will never feel the same again. Your long term happiness will not be as great, as if you find a guy who will not cheat.
Author Lindski Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 I really appreciate the advice. I've been speaking with a lot of people. I need time and he has been very supportive. He apologized and cried multiple times with me. It is a normal question for a girl to ask who needs to use the bathroom. But he asked everybody including me and the groomsmen that brought the girl because we had to take the shuttle in a few minutes which doesn't leave much time if he intended on getting with that whore. I sat next to her the whole wedding. I am very angry with him and he knows i dont look at him the same. Clearly we shouldn't have drank to that extent so yes I feel i should have watched after considering I didn't trust the girl but unfortunately it took two. I keep going back and forth. It's sad because I was so secure with him and the drinking has been a issue that has hurt our rellationship. There's no doubt thathe doesn't love me. Everybody around me knows that, its just making the final decision. Thanks for commenting. By the way I beat the crap out of him that night. And the girl....I told her off and called her a whore.
jnj express Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Why are you after the other girl----she isn't your problem---- You are/were in a relationship with your so called BF---he is where your beef is----BUT FOR HIM HAULING HER INTO A STALL FOR A QUICKIE, WE WOULDN'T BE TALKING HERE WOULD WE IMHO, you certainly should cool him at arms length for a good long time, and see how much he really wants you---and do not make any effort to become re-engaged Also if you can't act somewhat rational during alcohol use---that needs to slow way down also
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