Do I still stay with him?

[GR05]

Hi I was hoping to get peoples opinion on my situation I am so heartbroken and would like some good feedback. Please dont be rude I want to be with him and would like to work it out:

 

Basically I have been with this guy for nearly 3 years we met in 6th form and have been close for ages I had a previous horrible relationship and he was there for me throughout. He is an amazing person and has never cheated on someone before but "curiousity" got the better of him.

We both now go to university together and practically live together he puts up with my trust issues from my past and my constant complaining (even though this isnt an excuse).

I looked through his phone because of how paranoid I am and found photos of a girl all dressed up and she was sending photos in her underwear. Im really hurt because this girl that worked in a store gave her number to a staff member to give to him and he told me about it and said he threw it away. However he found it scrunched up in his car and contacted her he had been messaging her a few days and only a couple of days ago he took me to a romantic point which was lovely and we sat there, however when he kissed the girl (that told him about this point) they were there because she wanted to go. He done it the same day he took me which broke me and he didnt come back till early morning because he felt sooo bad and i could tell something was up but he didnt tell me because he was worried i would leave him.

We ended up going to the beach for a few days with friends the day after so when i did find out he told me he didnt want to tell me until after because he didnt want to ruin my weekend away with him which we never get to do. (im glad he didnt because it was with a group of friends and i would have been crushed)

I can get over the fact that he kissed her but my problem is that he was still talking to her after he was telling her he was away and was busy and said he doesnt know what is going on with them to but when when he wrote its worth a try to her thats what hurts. When i confronted him he told me straight away,everything that happened and confessed he cried so much (which is very unlike him) he has apologised sincerely and promised he would never do that again. I want to believe him but it keeps coming to my head i know he hasnt cheated before and he told me he wasnt thinking. he has lost all contact with this girl and said he would do anything to make it up to me. He is trying really hard with me now to make me feel better and keeps saying how this is such a wake up call. not trying to back him up but he seems genuinely sorry...

 

Should i still forgive him i know i said i want to be with him but people do make mistakes? Would giving a second chance be a stupid move?

 

Please help.

[geegirl]

Hi I was hoping to get peoples opinion on my situation I am so heartbroken and would like some good feedback. Please dont be rude I want to be with him and would like to work it out:

 

Basically I have been with this guy for nearly 3 years we met in 6th form and have been close for ages I had a previous horrible relationship and he was there for me throughout. He is an amazing person and has never cheated on someone before but "curiousity" got the better of him.

We both now go to university together and practically live together he puts up with my trust issues from my past and my constant complaining (even though this isnt an excuse).

I looked through his phone because of how paranoid I am and found photos of a girl all dressed up and she was sending photos in her underwear. Im really hurt because this girl that worked in a store gave her number to a staff member to give to him and he told me about it and said he threw it away. However he found it scrunched up in his car and contacted her he had been messaging her a few days and only a couple of days ago he took me to a romantic point which was lovely and we sat there, however when he kissed the girl (that told him about this point) they were there because she wanted to go. He done it the same day he took me which broke me and he didnt come back till early morning because he felt sooo bad and i could tell something was up but he didnt tell me because he was worried i would leave him.

We ended up going to the beach for a few days with friends the day after so when i did find out he told me he didnt want to tell me until after because he didnt want to ruin my weekend away with him which we never get to do. (im glad he didnt because it was with a group of friends and i would have been crushed)

I can get over the fact that he kissed her but my problem is that he was still talking to her after he was telling her he was away and was busy and said he doesnt know what is going on with them to but when when he wrote its worth a try to her thats what hurts. When i confronted him he told me straight away,everything that happened and confessed he cried so much (which is very unlike him) he has apologised sincerely and promised he would never do that again. I want to believe him but it keeps coming to my head i know he hasnt cheated before and he told me he wasnt thinking. he has lost all contact with this girl and said he would do anything to make it up to me. He is trying really hard with me now to make me feel better and keeps saying how this is such a wake up call. not trying to back him up but he seems genuinely sorry...

 

Should i still forgive him i know i said i want to be with him but people do make mistakes? Would giving a second chance be a stupid move?

 

Please help.

 

No one can tell you whether you should forgive him or not or if you should give him a second chance. That is a decision you have to make on your own.

 

Understand that there is no guarantee or certainty that a cheater will not cheat again. You just have to take that risk if chose to let him back into your life again.

 

What I find difficult in accepting is that cheaters are often remorseful when caught. It would carry much weight if one is remorseful voluntarily.

 

Maybe he is sincere, maybe he is not. No one can tell. You will just have to bide your time and see if his words and his actions coincide with his want to change. Only he can show you if your risk has paid off.