matt1022 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Hi, So back in 2007 when I was 17 I met a girl who was 16 and we hit it off right away. Of course in high school I was a jerk and i was always flirty with other girls and trying to be the cool guy and left her on the side. We obviously had our problems with this and we worked things out after awhile and we got back together after a couple weeks (you know how high school relationships are) but things changed by senior year I lost my virginity to her and her to me we spent a lot of time understanding each other and getting to better our selves growing up and doing so with each other. We become one with each others family and it naturally became Matt and Dana and we were happy. Our sex life was healthy but our friendship life was not. We truthfully only had each other and it was something we kinda got used to. We went to college together and handled problems like mature adults by 19 and 20. We obviously had some little things that annoyed us about each other she always had to be right and so did I and she hated my anger and I was a very bitter person. At one point she started a new job and I was working all the time as a manager in a company very early in life and working 40 plus hours while going to school full time and trying to dedicate time to her. At one point another guy came along and really trashed me and because I wasn't around as much and not into the relationship because of my job she went and we broke up in a very nasty break up in 2010. She had sex with him I became devastated I was irate and acted like a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum to sum it up. I called her whole family and all her friends in a frenzy. Unforunetly her father had a heart attack and and the only one there for her was me as the guy she left me for was just looking for sex. We were kind of forced to get back together as we were always taking care of her dad and I was watching the house and helping while he was in the hospital. After a year of being together again she kept questioning "how do I know matt is the one when he has been my only boyfriend" and " How could he be the one if i left him for someone else" We worked things out until these past couple months. I lost my job and at the age of 21 I wanted to act like a kid since I never got to. I became very immature and blew her off when she tried to explain things to me. I would laugh at problems and had no confidence in my self at all so I acted like I was 5. It wasn't what she wanted. Three times she told me she isn't happy and I kinda of just blew it off as it was was phase. Until she left me on friday. At first I was devastated but did not act like I did last time I understood what she was saying how she doesn't know If I'm the one and she's not happy right now and her feelings are not what they used to be at all if they are still even there. We stopped talking (in my hopes that shell see what she's missing) and i took the time to think about things and realize subtly I wasn't happy I wanted to find my self see what it was like to party and to be out alone and she sorta said the same thing. I love her very very very much and she is my best friend but we lost a lot of things we once had. Right now deep down I feel like every couple goes through a period( especially ones that got together so young) where they need to find them selves and see what its like to be alone and know if they can make it alone. Inside I feel like were going to be ok in the end and that after some time alone well find it all out and be a better couple but no one agrees they think I'm just saying that because we been together so long but this feels so much different then last breakups this has been calmer and more understanding and almost mutual (though with me missing her) I have no clue what to think or handle she's not like any girl anyones met and I know inside were meant to be...am I wrong to feel that way? Do you think we have a chance if we have some time alone? I also keep picturing her with someone else sexually and I get so upset I over think things how do I handle this please help. HELLPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!?
BenF Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 My friend, I feel your pain... I too over think things. How old are you now? Im 21 myself as well. It sounds like to me like this is a unique break up... mutual is usually when you've both lost feelings for each other or theres just too much stuff in the way. But you still have all these incredible feelings. I don't think that you're wrong to think that you're meant to be, I completely sympathise with that, and I'm the same. You clearly had a connection from a young age, and theres nothing wrong with that. Maybe you both just need time to see the world without each other for a while... maybe it won't take long, maybe after a month you can say to her I miss you and I love you and I still want to be with you. Im in a similar position at the moment (just not been with my gf (or ex gf now I've no idea) for as long as you with yours), I have no idea whether it will work out, but I too feel that we're meant to be together... so much. I didn't have this feeling when my ex broke up with me... its... different. I completely understand where you're coming from. Maybe just give her a week or two and then come clean with her? tell her that you feel you're meant to be together. I lost my virginity to this my girlfriend (or ex now) and Ive no intention of ever sleeping with anyone else because it feels right with her, and the thought of her with anyone else cleaves me like a knife.... is there anything else you need help with? my post about my problem is just above yours in the thread... see if we can help each other?
Chi townD Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I think that you two are both young and really don't know what you two want out of life yet. If you don't know what you want out of life, then how can you be sure what you want out of a relationship? You both "pretty much" expressed a desire to be single and party. and there's nothing wrong with that. I think that time away and NC would be a wise decision at the moment.
Author matt1022 Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 its hard but I'm starting to see to get her back the right way i need to spend time understanding myself and its hard as hell to do but if I'm confidant and sure it will happen then it will i know this girl like none else so i know we will be ok i just hate knowing she's with someone else
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