Siffle Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 tl;dr: 23 year old knew/crushed on girl for 4 years. nothing happened. now moving cities, wanted to try kiss her before we parted ways. instincts told me i'll only ever be her friend, so i didn't even try. Today was the last day I will live in the same city as my best female friend that I met 4 years ago. I have had a massive crush on her practically since we met. I was very shy at the start, and thus never acted on my feelings, though we would hang out lots in our friend group. Based on a friend's advice, my obsession culminated in passing her a letter 3 years ago which wasn't so much a creepy proclamation of love, but hinted that I had a thing for her. I regret showing my interest in this way, but it gave me peace of mind. She promptly replied as a friend, not directly addressing my showing of interest. In the following year she would come to tease me about her being my favourite. For a couple of years, we saw less of each other (although it was not awkward), and we both had relationships. At one point I was sharing an apartment with her boyfriend during which they broke up. Awkward! A few months later, we were very drunk, I tried to kiss her and she backed away, later asking me to take her home and deliver her to the then ex-boyfriend whom I lived with. I, being drunk and wanting to do anything for her, complied, though I believe it did not end well for her that night. Apparently, my kiss attempt had not scared her off though. Finally, we have both spent the past year single, and have seen lots more of each other due to living practically next door, including time with just the two of us. I have become completely infatuated once again. When walking home at night we would chat for hours before going inside our respective apartments, until it became light or just too cold to bear. Despite almost everyone we know insisting that we were lovers, nothing romantic occurred and my instincts told me that she still could never see me as more than a friend. I so very badly wanted to try and kiss her at the end of one of our late night chats to find out for sure during our last few days. Since I am sick of seeking others advice who can never fully comprehend the situation or avoid bias, I decided to listen to my instincts which unfortunately meant doing nothing. I figured that if she was interested, I would know one way or another. I am, evidently, distraught. Last night was my last chance, and for some reason I ended up sleeping at her place, though of course, nothing happened - not even sleep for me since I felt so awkward being in bed with her. Have I made the right decision?
KristenElaine Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 That is a difficult situation. I think if things were going to be different, they would have been. If you are still thinking about it, and have cared about her this long, maybe you should tell her and see what happens.
dicky_fish Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Always follow your gut instincts as more often than not they're right, even if you don't like what they're telling you.
Author Siffle Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Well ****. Turns out I'll see her again, maybe for two nights but probably not alone. I don't know what to do. If I knew it was the right thing to do, I could easily block out my feelings, have a good time seeing her again as a friend and just forget about everything. However, I'm dying inside from thinking I might be missing an opportunity this way. Should I do something? If so, what can I do? I don't want to get drunk and then try and kiss her making it seem like a drunken whim, but then again, I don't want to confess my love to her whilst sober and make this seem like the most serious thing in the world.
Starman8 Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 The last thing I would do is tell her that you love her. That never works and she has to earn that even if you do love her. I would just try to be fun and charming and look for a good opportunity to kiss her. Things will probably progress on their own from there. Just remember that she is not the last girl in the world, so if she doesn't respond it's no big deal. That will be an important frame of mind. Just try to be smooth.
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