Trimmer Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Wow! Lovestruck72112! Those happy ending stories are few and far between. Hey, I don't want to crap next to the snack bar here, but may I point out that this story is far from "ended"? I'm not trying to be mean here - I hope all 3 can get through this with as little damage as possible and everyone does achieve happiness. But this situation is still young, and developing. Don't let your guard down, and don't buy in too completely to those violins you are hearing in your head just yet. One interesting point for me was that the wife had the OP there when she told her husband. I thought "wow..." Depending on the reaciton of her husband, that could have had a wide range of outcomes. As it is, he seems to have accepted it but here's the thing: now he has a perception of the marriage having broken down specifically because of the arrival of the OP. Maybe the marriage really was headed to a breakdown due to its own pathologies, but given the current scenario, he now has cover to believe that he really had no part in it - that it was strictly due to the OP's presence. On the plus side for the wife and the OP it may make it easier for him to accept and move on (depends on the husband's outlook on things.) On the other hand, he may be less inclined to acknowledge, consider, and own his part in the demise of their marriage - if he had one - as a growth and development exercise. In my own case, my marriage broke down, and there was another man present - much like this story (but without the open marriage part) - and for a long time, that allowed me to blame the OM, and ignore my own contributions to the downfall of our marriage which had been building for a long time, and had nothing to do with the outside party. I'm not saying they (or she) should do anything different - I'm just considering what the husband's experience and perception of the situation might be. Edited June 12, 2012 by Trimmer 1
RickFox Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Hey, I don't want to crap next to the snack bar here, but may I point out that this story is far from "ended"? I'm not trying to be mean here - I hope all 3 can get through this with as little damage as possible and everyone does achieve happiness. But this situation is still young, and developing. Don't let your guard down, and don't buy in too completely to those violins you are hearing in your head just yet. One interesting point for me was that the wife had the OP there when she told her husband. I thought "wow..." Depending on the reaciton of her husband, that could have had a wide range of outcomes. As it is, he seems to have accepted it but here's the thing: now he has a perception of the marriage having broken down specifically because of the arrival of the OP. Maybe the marriage really was headed to a breakdown due to its own pathologies, but given the current scenario, he now has cover to believe that he really had no part in it - that it was strictly due to the OP's presence. On the plus side for the wife and the OP it may make it easier for him to accept and move on (depends on the husband's outlook on things.) On the other hand, he may be less inclined to acknowledge, consider, and own his part in the demise of their marriage - if he had one - as a growth and development exercise. In my own case, my marriage broke down, and there was another man present - much like this story (but without the open marriage part) - and for a long time, that allowed me to blame the OM, and ignore my own contributions to the downfall of our marriage which had been building for a long time, and had nothing to do with the outside party. I'm not saying they (or she) should do anything different - I'm just considering what the husband's experience and perception of the situation might be. I fully agree, it is far from a happy ending and I'd guess there's going to be much more to this story.
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