Brit Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I have been asked in round about ways, out, if I am looking to date etc. I never go to pick up type bars or meat markets. I am comfortable going out by myself. I am not looking for anything in my life currently in regards to dating. Possible friendships, but that it hard to agree to, once already hit on. I in know way wish to hurt anyone's feelings, and am very upfront and honest in my current mindset, but still get continuing questions regarding the situation, even once I mention this. I have said I have no idea how long this mindset may last, a few months, years. I had gone many years with no interest in dating after losing my soulmate when much younger. Stemming from a different set of circumstances, I am in a similar mindset, minus the mourning of a loss, but more of a feeling of no interest, because I just need time, time to myself. I really hope this does not end up being years:( How do i avoid so many follow up questions without coming across as rude, and keep it short and sweet?
LittlePrince Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I'm an asexual. What is an asexual? Google it. 1
lospantalonsfancie Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 What LittlePrince said. Here's an alternative, however, which I have employed in the past. I went through a phase where I was focused on my academic passion, and didn't really prioritize dating. During that period, I would occasionally get approached by women I had no interest in. My response to them was usually a variant of "I'm sorry, I don't date." If they inquired any further, I would say something like "I'm focused on a higher calling, its a personal matter and I'd rather not discuss it further." It worked reasonably well, though in a few cases it made the woman more intrigued and persistent; I suspect it would work better on men, however.
LittlePrince Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 What LittlePrince said. Here's an alternative, however, which I have employed in the past. I went through a phase where I was focused on my academic passion, and didn't really prioritize dating. During that period, I would occasionally get approached by women I had no interest in. My response to them was usually a variant of "I'm sorry, I don't date." If they inquired any further, I would say something like "I'm focused on a higher calling, its a personal matter and I'd rather not discuss it further." It worked reasonably well, though in a few cases it made the woman more intrigued and persistent; I suspect it would work better on men, however. Women like a challenge. Only certain overly competitive males like women who are challenging.
wordrock Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Women like a challenge. Only certain overly competitive males like women who are challenging. I am not overly competitive. I don't worry about what other guys are doing. The woman I am seeing right now is approached by men constantly. My desire for her has nothing to do with that, or the fact that she has told me several times she doesn't want to be in a relationship. I am completely willing to just be friends as I think she is a wonderful person. There have been a number of things she has told me before like "I don't like people in my personal space", "I don't want to sleep with anyone" etc etc. Yet I've stay over her place 2 or 3 nights a week for the last month. It's not that she doesn't want those things. It's that she feels vulnerable and feels that most people are not sensitive to her own needs. I have never made any demands. I immediately drop something if she says she is uncomfortable talking about it. Until a couple weeks ago, I would not even attempt to kiss her without asking her first. If she were to tell me that she didn't want to see me anymore I would be hurt and disappointed, but I would comply. I want her to know that I am willing to accept her completely for who she is... the only way to do that is to be open and vulnerable. She's never insulted me and has only shown me a great deal of respect and admiration for who I am. This has nothing to do with competitiveness. You know what I have? Patience.
dasein Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I find asking to borrow money does the trick. Make sure it's a lot of money in case they are smitten. If they are wealthy, you may need to ask for 100k or more or they might actually give it to you. If they did give it to you, get gold teeth and 24k rims for your car and send them a picture of you smiling in front of your car.
Recommended Posts