confused2385 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 So the ex texted me back the other day saying I'm confused need to be alone (even though she's seeing another guy) I dont know why I do what I do or what I want right now. I don't know who I love more. Don;t know what way to go or what she's feeling. I do know I love you and you're perfect just like my father and I love showing you off to the family and I haven't moved on, but i'm clouded and confused. I told her to address her feeling after all that via text and she said I don't know why i'm not addressing them, but I thought I HAD the same feelings for him... Completely drawing me back in. We talked this morning went very well then I called her when I got off and she just was being rude, saying mean things. She wants to go with him. She loves me so much, but she is drawn to him right now. Starts getting annoyed because I told her she needs to be free of both of us and figure herself out and we ended on pretty bad terms. She was the bad person in this yet I feel horrible, extremely low and depressed. I need help finding my self confidence and my identity again as i am completely broken. How i love a girl that can hurt me this badly is beyond on me. I really need to find myself and why when I had heard she was messing around I let it go at first. Anyways I deleted her from all social networking (finally) so I can't see what she's up too. Sure I miss her right now and wish she would show up and fight for me, but we all know that's not happening. Any words of encouragement or guidance/advice would be highly appreciated as I need to stick to this NC...Cheers to seeing you guys around more and sticking to my plan of success. Thanks
Gulf-Delta Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Good for you! Most likely she will likely try to track you down. If/when she does, simply say "Unless you're calling about getting back together, leave me alone"
Mr Scorpio Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 You did a wise thing by deleting her from your social networking sites. From the sounds of it, I would stay away from her. From your words, she comes across as confused and immature. A toxic sort of person to have in your life.
Author confused2385 Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 It was extremely hard to do, but considering I already tried to check it's providing it's purpose. Went to the store to get groceries and everything reminded me of the meals we would always make. Miss her so much and am so tempted to text, but this time I will not. Pretty pathetic right now. Almost got a microwaveable dinner
Author confused2385 Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Well today was very difficult. A lot of high and lows a lot of anger and then sadness and stopped myself numerous times from contacting her. Got home and was able to workout lifting again for the second time in a row, but was very hard to keep my focus. Felt a little better then I went on a 5 mile walk and near the end of it I was just smiling and felt really good. Maybe signs to come. Anyways got back home and kind of have been dragging around a bit. One of my friends texted me around lunch saying that she was tweeting that her horrible migraine had come back and she was so stressed in pain and just wanted to get away. I felt bad for a minute, but then thought she can just go run to her other guy for comfort...she's no longer my problem. Asked my friend to no longer inform me of that stuff going forward as I need to work on myself before I can think of a relationship especially her. The thing that get's me is i just now received a text from someone saying she facebooked "the very things you take for granted are the very things that will break your heart"...Is this pertaining to me? is she telling me i took her for granted or is she saying she took me for granted....I'm so confused now. Anyone have any insight to this is it's kind of racking my brain. I'm not going to contact nor am i going to answer anything from her as I need this for myself otherwise she will always step on me. Thanks
pathetic1999 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 You need to tell your friends to quit telling you what she writes, otherwise you might as well have not deleted her. 2
Author confused2385 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 Yeah I did. Today was the worst so far. I didnt sleep at all. Just tossed and turned. Seemed like I thought about her all day and when I would tell myself not to I would start thinking of something else that would just funnel into a memory of her. I don't know how i'm going to do this. She has a couple of my gift cards that i don't know if i should try to get back, but i really want to keep NC. I have a wedding tomorrow out of town until sunday which is the same day that she leaves for los angeles for a couple months...interested to see if she tries to say bye and I hate that I am. The power she has over me confuses the **** out of me. I wish I could just shut my brain off and move on like she has, even though i know she cares and has feelings... I fear i wont get past this one
g450 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 It just never ceases to amaze me how these people think. Why do cheaters always say this? They need time alone they say and they are confused they say so instead of talking it out with the person that has loved them and taken care of them for years they jump on the nearst dick of some low life. How the hell is that supposed to help them? It doesnt! Saying Im confused it just gasslighting you and throwning you breadcrumbs so you can stay as a backup just in case their lowlife cheater boyfriend gets tired of her and throws her to the curb. It's all BS. Doesnt necessarily apply to your situation but in general, most walk aways tend to say crap like that. 1
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 g450...you are so right! I actually tried dating my ex again and after a few weeks she became distant and fearful that we were getting too close. So, she gave me the old, "I'm confused" line. And shortly, after that she ended up bailing on me. Now she still wants to be friends and hang out as though, she did not just rip my heart to shreds, (by telling me that she was still in love with me, to only stop dating me after a few weeks). She definitely has intimacy issues (dumped me a few days after being intimate), which also coincides with her commitment phobia. And often attributes these issues to me breaking up with her a few times in the past. That was years ago and I had demonstrated to her my growth and maturity, but she appears to be too damaged from whatever happened before me, after me, and now perhaps, from me again. I'd like to move on, but I constantly think of her and feel guilty, lost and depressed when I don't respond to her texts. I definitely still love her, but I know for a fact she will only continue to hurt me if pursue her, or even just hang out as friends. She seems to have no clue as to how her actions are extremely hurtful. For example, leaving heartfelt cards and photographs of her and the man she dated (claims she fell in love with) when we were apart displayed in her house while we were dating. Now I'm confused...
BDranger Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I had a woman do that to me one time. Well, a girl to be more specific. I know how you feel and that pain is deep. Just keep pushing dude. One day you'll wake up and realize you did nothing wrong. You'll see, every time an issue came up, she was the one that twisted it and made it your fault. I had every emotion go through me and ya know, things didn't work out. It will be ok. You'll grow as a person because of a brat like her. When you get back on your feet, when you least know it, you'll find a nice mature woman who can handle herself. Focus on the future you, look ahead and not behind. The only one who cares about your happiness - you
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