jayy23 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 so i will make this as short as i can but if you take the time to read then thanks. so i was with my exgf for just over 4years and everything was going really well but 3years in to the relationship i was told i had graves disease so i had an overactive thyroid and was pretty sick and suffering with really bad anxiety and panick attacks so i had somthing called radio acctive iodine treatment to kill my thyroid so now i am underactive and i need to take pills everyday for the rest of my life whitch is fine with me but i still have really bad anxiety so it kinda keeps me from doing everything that i want to but im working on it and will get it sorted. the reason for me mentioning that is because i feel like because i was going through all that it was kinda pushing my ex away from me because when she wanted to do somthing if i wasnt feeling to good or feeling really anxious i would just say no to doing anything and i think she was getting anoyed at the fact i kept saying i didnt want to do anything with her but what i tried to explain to her was that i really wanted to do the things she wanted to but my anxiety was just so bad that i couldnt. it made me feel bad telling her no all the time. when i asked her if that had anything to do with why she doesnt want to be with me anymore she tells me it has nothing to do with it but i feel it does. Also the past 7mnths she has been staying in oxford and goin to uni there (were both from scotland) but she only has one month left and she will be back in scotland for good. in the time she has been in oxford she was coming back to scotland once a month and only staying for the weekend then goin back to oxford. her reason for breaking up with me is because being in oxford has made her realise what she wants and what kind of person she wants to be with and thats not me. she wants to travel and do new things and doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone just now. now i have never done anything wrong to her allways been there for her and supported her in anything shes ever wanted to do. everything she says she wants to do i dont know why we couldnt do it together? i feel like she is being really selfish and only thinking about her self. she left me at one of the most difficult times in my life. there is nothing that couldnt be worked on but she has made it really clear she is not willing to even try and work on things. she doesent even wana talk to me. i really dont understand how somone could just do what she has done after being with me for over 4years its like she doesent even care anymore like her hearts turned to stone. i kinda feel like maybe because of my anxiety she thinks that i would hold her back and not be able to do anything with her but if she gave me some time to get sorted then everything would be fine but she didnt need to leave me? i would do anything for her but shes not intrested anymore..... if i just give her some space will that help? or does she not feel anything for me anymore? i really dont get it.
Author jayy23 Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 anyone have any advice? i havent spoke to her now in just over 9days and havent heard anything from her. im not goina say this isnt killing me because it is im not realy doing myself any good either i keep looking on her freinds facebook pages to see if shes been saying anything to them about this and keep coming accross new pictures of her out with her freinds looking really happy and thats killing me: ( im trying really hard to just put her out my head but its not working i really wana see her. i really dont understand why shes done this?....
Chi townD Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Well, if she's going to Oxford, I can say Oxford is like most of our Ivy League Universities. Fiercely competitive for our country's most privledged. And, unfortunately, the students can sometimes get a major superiority complex. And you, my friend, are not part of the club. You got dealt a bad hand, but it isn't the end of the world. People live happy and active lives with Graves. You just have to take it slow and figure out what you can do and can't. But you have to get active. I think it's crappy that she would leave while you're dealing with your disease. Unfortunately, some people can't understand what a person is going through because they haven't been through it themselves. They don't understand what the disease and the medications do to a person and they don't understand why you can't do all of the things they can do. Thus, they become very selfish people. Hang in there and go NC. Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem because she sounds like a snob. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 she just wasn't ready for better/for worse and in sickness and in health. I had thyroid cancer...My ex wanted nothing to do with me when he found out I was ill--I was of no use to him. I know all too well about thyroid not working---GET ACTIVE and check your diet. You will then be fine doing all the things she wanted you to do that you coudn't/woudln't do back then. Not sure if it's about superiority==she just didn't want to be taking care of you all the time when there was so much life out there. Yes, it's selfish, but I get where she is coming from, too. She was turned off after awhile; it's like a friend asking you over and over to come out and play, you always say no and then the friend stops coming by to ask. Get your health in check--it is very important to get your blood tests and stay active; make sure you are eating the right things. You will find someone worthy of you who will understand that you will have days where you feel crappy--not sure if you are like me, but with my dead thyroid, I cannot tolerate the heat for too long......and most times, I am freezing cold. Yes, it's like that. Don't worry about what she's doing---worry about what you are doing. I wish you peace and the best of health.
Author jayy23 Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 thanks for taking the time to give some advice. my underactive thyroid is now fine the pills have been balanced out as of a few days ago so i dont need to worry about that anymore i still have the anxiety tho but im working really hard to get that sorted. and yeh i know what you meen about the heat it takes all my enerygy out of me. its not like she had to take care of me i could do all the things i needed to do myself. and yeh she is from a well off family so she doesnt need to worry about money but i wouldnt say she is a snob but i can see why people would think that. and the NC is really hard its fine somedays but other days i just wana talk to her. i did somthing that i shouldnt have done last night i got into her facebook page a was reading all her msgs there was nothing that was that bad but she was saying to her freind how she loves being single and going out and not having to worry about me anymore she has also been chating with a guy i know that we both worked with years ago the msgs were kinda flirty so that pissed me off and i think they are planning on meeting up at some point for a drink. she is back in scotland for good at the end of this month. its my birthday on the 10th of june and i wounder if she will get in contact to wish me a happy birthday?...
WonderKid Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 1) Go on Facebook 2) Send her a message saying "**** You" 3) Delete her 4) And be on your way 5) Another woman will come by who actually will invest time in caring for you 6) You'll be happier
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