Drseussgrrl Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Hi everyone - I'm new. I met a guy back in December through our mutual friends one night. I had a boyfriend at the time, so didn't really think much about him. We reconnected again about a month ago when he was in town visiting our mutual friends (my best guy friend is his best friend). Well, that weekend we completely hit it off and had one of the best times of our lives. Everyone agreed that it was definitely one for the books. We all just had so much fun together. Baseball game, horse racing, going out on the town, grilling out. It was like we crammed a vacation into 3 days. B and I were intimate. I didn't really think much about it, just kind of considered it a fun fling. But by Sunday night, we both had to admit that there was something more there. We ended up spending that night together and it was pretty amazing (just the two of us). He wanted to see me again the following week. He lives about 1.5 hours away, but is up in DC several times a month. He came up for two nights and again, it was amazing. We went on an official date, and the following night hung out with our friends again. This was after keeping in constant contact via text and phone calls in between trips (all initiated by him). We made each other laugh and everything was light and fun. Something happened on his last night though. We started talking about expectations, a conversation I wasn't really ready to have, and he got spooked. He said he wasn't ready to be exclusive, but didn't want to lose me either. The next morning, I could tell he was incredibly conflicted. I told him we didn't have to figure things out right away. He said that following his divorce, he had been numb for a year and that he definitely felt something with me. He said he felt physically sick inside, torn between doing what his heart wanted and what he knew was the right thing. I didn't try and change his mind - I just let him talk himself in circles. I told him everything turns out the way it's supposed to, and to try and not think too much about everything. That night, after he got home, he called me and basically told me that he didn't want to hang out anymore. He thanked me for "awakening his heart" but that in order to be the man I deserved, he would have to have a complete transformation. Truth be told, I know he enjoys hanging out with different women, and that would have made things very difficult considering the feelings that were budding between us. I agreed with him, promptly told him I had to go, thanked him for the call, and requested that we not talk for a bit. We, of course will be friends eventually, considering that we hang with the same crew. I went strict no-contact with him. I didn't text, email, call, or ask our friends about him, other than to say it was disappointing but the timing was all wrong. After 9 days, he texts me that he hopes I'm having a good weekend, and that he missed me and madison (my golden that he got close to). This was while he was at the beach with the rest of my friends for the holiday weekend. I waited 1.5 hours to text him back - "It's a beautiful day and we are happy in this moment xo" To which he promptly replied - ":) Give Madison a hug for me. It makes me happy to know you're happy." I was busy, so it took me about 4 hours to reply - "I will! I hope you're all having a ball :)" And that was it. I haven't heard from him since (2 days ago). I know I should listen to him and forget him and believe he won't give me the relationship I deserve. I have left him completely alone. But it's so very hard to get over a powerful connection you can make with someone that quickly. I know he felt it too. He is coming up in 2 days, according to our best friend. Oh, how I would love to see him. Why is love so complicated?
HVane Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I am really sorry to tell you this, but you are a booty call. He doesn't want a relationship with you, but he wants to keep you on the hook in case he can't find anyone else to f*ck him. I'm so sorry, but I've been there. Wish someone had told me. Forget him and spend your energy on someone who deserves you!
Author Drseussgrrl Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Thanks - as much as I hate to hear that you are probably right. This is why I have left him completely alone and requested that we not talk. I don't need to end up in a FWB sitch. *sigh*
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