Sw3etdev1L Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Sometimes I feel weird.. I had my best friends from a lifetime, and I stopped talking to them.. One became a scientologist, one went and had sex with the husband of her sister. The scientologist lives far away in the states.. I live somewhere else. It was so tough to make my mind that they are not my friends anymore. It's tough because I am getting married and I know I won't invite them to my wedding. We don''t have things in common anymore. Sometimes i feel I'm a little lonely, and it hurts. I have a sister of 22 and I am 27. I wish sometimes that she would get me more, but sometimes instead of being understanding and comprehensive, she is judgamental or blames me on things as if I were her punching bag. My father is obsessive of nutrition, almost like a vigorexic, he has spans in which he talks about something else, but it's not very common. My mom died two years ago, sometimes I still miss her a lot because I used to talk to her a lot and we used to get along quite well. When I remember of her, it's still sad. I went through a sickness when I was 21, it was a mixture of epilepsy with deep depression, it was so hard to overcome it. But I did and now I am great.. sometimes the memories are the ones that hurt, and the effect of those memories are feelings like fear, anxiety, and pain.. which my mother used to help me overcome but she is not here anymore. today I am sensitive cause I will have my period. still feels good to say how I feel... Sometimes I feel my story is a great one.. of overcoming difficult stuff. sometimes I feel like I won so many battles in my life. But sometimes is hard. I do have some friends, with whom I get along quite well for now.. I used to think of myself as a goddess when I was in highschool.. when I went through all these stuff, the goddess feeling was eradicated and my feeet was put on the ground so harshly. I have a good self esteem, but I don't think of myself as a goddess anymore. I just accept my vulnerable human sensitive nature.. we all have strengths and weaknesses, and middle points, we all go through so amazing, strange, difficult, stuff.. Now I am getting married. And although I know it is amazing, sometimes I must confess I get overwhelmed, afraid, and my vulnerabilities start to come out.. It's not easy. But I am living life in an excelent way.. I hope you are living your life the best way you can too.
HVane Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 OK, listen up First off,you're 27. You're very young. This is a natural period for people to leave behind the friends of their childhoods and make new, mature relationships. Secondly, if I'm reading correctly, in the last 6 years you've gone thru a major illness, the loss of your mother, and several other stressors. This is a LOT. Reread that. This is a LOT of life stress. Be patient with yourself, find some new pals, but mostly, be patient with yourself. You've been through a lot. Some counseling wouldn't hurt.
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