K_Kat Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Ok... I have a question.... if a person cheats in their relationship and has happened a few times, not an emotional just for sex purposes.... why? I have been with my husband for 12 years, at the beginning it was stupid with his ex so i cheated a few times no biggie... 5 years later... he moved to another country i stayed behind and found myself drunk and in someones bed... he forgave me.... then we split anyways because i thought i didnt want to be with him... he is 53 me 35years... 1 year later I move to his country .... everything is good, we love each other very deeply and he has been this father figure in my life but.. our sex life has been crap... in dec 2011 i found myself attracted to someone but nothing happened.... basically in the past 6 months i have cheated (no sex) with a few different people... I dont feel guilty.... i had two of these men give me oral sex because i havent had it in 12 years... i am talking with one because we are friends but we live MILES apart... yes i like sex.... yes i could be a slut... but if someone cheats on their partner dont you think there is no relation? If i was truely madly in love with my husband, I should be soo guilty i would throw myself over the bridge.... I guess i am trying to figure out my situation... either to stay or not... we have an amazing friendship and bond... but i am not sure why i behave like this....
Radu Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 If you want to keep on having sex, all the more power to you. On the other hand if you want to have a serious relationship, you need to understand that what you gave are worthless reasons. 'i was lonely', ' i don't love him i think so it's ok to sleep with other ppl behind his back', 'nobody went down on me in 12yrs so it's ok'. Quite frankly you are messing yourself up something fierce. You should be a slut with him, and if he can't make you feel like one, then : - ask for open relationship status, though from what you posted and the other thread you do not have a relationship - divorce - reignite marriage Judging by your posts i would say you are going for divorce, and are seriously screwed up when it comes to boundaries in relationships. I would get into therapy asap in your shoes.
jnj express Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Do you think the age difference has something to do with this---at 25, and 41---not so bad---but him at 53, and you at 35, maybe you are turned off---- Way younger, doesn't work so well with a lot older----- Beyond on that, to get your answers you need to go to IC. 1
Artie Lang Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 so i cheated a few times no biggie basically in the past 6 months i have cheated (no sex) with a few different people... I dont feel guilty you're minimizing your infidelity. cheating is cheating no matter how you paint it! he is 53 me 35years he has been this father figure in my life this is all you see your husband as- YOUR DAD! i don't consider you a slut because you like sex. i just don't think you and your husband are compatible and the age difference is really an issue you don't want to address. i think you need to pull the plug on this sham of a marriage.....that, or consider an "open marriage," which you're already indulging in anyway-- a one-sided open marriage at that. 1
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