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sexual attraction & long term relationships


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Posted

how important is sexual attraction to you in a long term relationship?

I've been with men I am sexually attracted to and those that I am not, however, I'v gotten to know one particularly that I am not sexually attracted to, he has a lot of qualities that I like, patient, kind, etc, I'm being logical about it but don't feel quite satisfied. I'm getting older and actually am more focused on a life partner rather then short term thrills, what are your thoughts? of course the best would be sexual attraction + long term potential but I can't seem to find that person.

Posted

My thoughts are that after reading some of the threads started by female posters about sex I'm really really glad I'm not a man.

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Posted

How long is the relationship? Is he willing to learn? I believe sexual chemistry can grow. What about sex with him leaves you wanting more?

Posted (edited)

being logical is about more than shopping for a relationship/marriage.

 

what kind of men are you attracted to, and are they attracted to you? how old is 'older'? there aren't going to be many male models on the dating scene if you're in your 40s (or even mid to late 30s). and if there are, they are going to offer less in other areas, because they can, in all likelihood.

 

My thoughts are that after reading some of the threads started by female posters about sex I'm really really glad I'm not a man.

 

men learn to pigeonhole women and don't get terribly upset by those types, honestly. gym guy gets his bleached blondes, motorcycle guy gets his redneck girls, MBA guy gets his gold digging secretaries, everyone fishes from their own pond and catches/releases a few, so to speak.

 

you don't think we got to control/oppress the world via getting steamrolled by women, do you? :laugh:

Edited by thatone
Posted

You can grow to love someone, which leads to sexual attraction. That's how it works for me.

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Posted

fitchick, can you eleborate on this?

Posted
My thoughts are that after reading some of the threads started by female posters about sex I'm really really glad I'm not a man.

 

Why do you feel that way?

Posted
Why do you feel that way?

 

Because contrary to popular belief most women are super visual and about looks and if they arent with a 9 or 10 probably feel little passion towards their man

Posted

If a woman is not at least somewhat sexually attracted to the man she is with then neither she, nor he, will be happy in the relationship.

Posted
how important is sexual attraction to you in a long term relationship?

I've been with men I am sexually attracted to and those that I am not, however, I'v gotten to know one particularly that I am not sexually attracted to, he has a lot of qualities that I like, patient, kind, etc, I'm being logical about it but don't feel quite satisfied. I'm getting older and actually am more focused on a life partner rather then short term thrills, what are your thoughts? of course the best would be sexual attraction + long term potential but I can't seem to find that person.

A long term partner should be a able to thrill you in the sack.

Posted
If a woman is not at least somewhat sexually attracted to the man she is with then neither she, nor he, will be happy in the relationship.

 

The same with Men as well most people dotn want to be with a person they dont find physically attratciveSome have to settle because there not good looking enough to get a attractive mate, those are sad relationships

Posted
My thoughts are that after reading some of the threads started by female posters about sex I'm really really glad I'm not a man.

It does make you wonder how many women simply settle. Not to say guys dont either, because I do see guys starting threads like these on other parts of the internet...but women start these threads a lot more. It would seem many women dont know enough about their sexuality ( and how important it is) in order to have lasting relationships and pick the right dude.

 

I have no idea why anyone would want to sacrifice their sex life and be in an unhappy relationship. Sex is as important as emotional and mental connection.

You can grow to love someone, which leads to sexual attraction. That's how it works for me.

There must be some attraction to begin with though. If theres no sort of romantic spark to begin with, then its not happening.

 

I think OP knows in her guy that this guy isnt right for her. Yet shes willing to settle. Doesnt make sense to me.

Posted
It does make you wonder how many women simply settle. Not to say guys dont either, because I do see guys starting threads like these on other parts of the internet...but women start these threads a lot more. It would seem many women dont know enough about their sexuality ( and how important it is) in order to have lasting relationships and pick the right dude.

 

I have no idea why anyone would want to sacrifice their sex life and be in an unhappy relationship. Sex is as important as emotional and mental connection.

 

Not everyone can get into a relationship with people therye hot for,so they either stay alone or get with somebody who treats them well

 

I think its harder for women because they find less men hot then men do women but not all women can get the top 5% of of Men looks wise so most settle to have a family

Posted
How long is the relationship? Is he willing to learn? I believe sexual chemistry can grow. What about sex with him leaves you wanting more?

 

I am a firm believer in this... I have started relationships based on sexual chemistry and both the chemistry and ratio ship fizzled.

 

The relationships which were based more on all the other qualities lent itself to more satisfying sex in the long term.

Posted

AS an unattractive man it kinda sucks,even if you try to use personality to attract a women and get into a relationship chances are she wont fully be into you throghout the relationship and fel shes settling

Posted
AS an unattractive man it kinda sucks,even if you try to use personality to attract a women and get into a relationship chances are she wont fully be into you throghout the relationship and fel shes settling

 

i'm with you there. i agree fully.

Posted

Yes sexual attraction is very important. That's our core instinct.

 

I am pretty sure those Americans here will say I am shallow as f-uck since they care about the personality first ROFL

Posted
Yes sexual attraction is very important. That's our core instinct.

 

I am pretty sure those Americans here will say I am shallow as f-uck since they care about the personality first ROFL

 

i learned the hard way. 41 and haven't have a girlfriend or a f-uck. tried being nice but they doesn't get results. i'm not attractive either.

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