irc333 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I was wondering, sometimes I've seen women's profile where I feel they're writing a romance novel than a profile. Or at least throw in a paragraph of what she's picturing in her mind her future Mr. Right is doing with her. There's this one woman, VERY local to me, I already emailed her, because she's said she's looking for someone old-fashioned and traditional...which is kind of how I am. But recently...she had changed or updated her profile, which is made it sound more unreaslistic. She actually said she's looking for her "Mr Right" , obviously...but then followed it up with 'Yes, I'm looking for the guy that's like in the movies, where he is trying do ANYTHING possible to get and KEEP his woman" Then she depicts what she expects him to do, to send flowers, leave little romantic post-it notes, an occsional romantic text message, and so on. "A guy who calls me up, just to let me know he's been thinking of me." Stuff like this, I've seen in a lot of profiles....not sure if men tend to over-romanticize, but I've seen this a lot. She expects to be spoiled, and thus will spoil him back with love and affection as long as he's giving her the attention and what she wants. So hey <shrug> at least she's giving something BACK? But , the tone of the profile seems to have a "one way" feel to what she's looking for, even though she SAYS she'll spoil him back. Anyhow, do you think women tend to over romanticize their profiles are a bit ...I dunno, heads in the clouds? Are they are setting up their expectations to a point where reality will finally set in, and then become disappointed. I find this odd for a woman in her 40's, to have such a mindset?
Emilia Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Yes I find it odd. Same when men put stuff like 'I'm looking for someone who will teach me again how to live' or just generally appear to have huge expectations for some poor person who goes with them on a date. I think a lot of people - maybe women more so - need that external validation and support that must be actually quite tiresome to keep up long term.
FitChick Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 It doesn't sound as bad as one man's profile where he essentially listed sports at which a woman must excel, countries she's been to, a long list of books she had to have read and a detailed description which she must fit. I had a headache by the time I got to the end of it. Did I mention he's in his fifties and never been married? I can't imagine why. 2
Alma Mobley Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Honestly, her biggest sin here is sounding...boring. 1
january2011 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Are they are setting up their expectations to a point where reality will finally set in, and then become disappointed. Yes, that's a possibility. But you know, it's white space and people can fill it with what they want, within site guidelines for profanity, etc. 1
phineas Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Eh, I tend to get turned off by those kind of profiles or the one's where the women are a legend in their own mind. LOL! I know guys in real life like this & never met women like this until Online dating & just find it kind of funny.
Woggle Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 We all know that if a man actually did those things he would get labeled a creeper so fast his head would spin. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I have also read profiles like this. I have never put up a profile that has romantic sayings in it, because the average man first of all does not read what you write, they just look at pictures. And second, if they do read something sappy and syrupy, it will turn them off. You can write poetry on your own time, write a light, breezy profile like "I like Chinese food, am an avid skiier, and like yoga." or something like that.
phineas Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I have also read profiles like this. I have never put up a profile that has romantic sayings in it, because the average man first of all does not read what you write, they just look at pictures. And second, if they do read something sappy and syrupy, it will turn them off. You can write poetry on your own time, write a light, breezy profile like "I like Chinese food, am an avid skiier, and like yoga." or something like that. I actually read the profiles because i'm looking for someone who likes to do the same things I do. But when they get overly flowery I feel like i'm wasting my time if I don't touch on the sappy stuff she took the time to write.
Star Gazer Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I don't think that putting down that you're looking for the kind of guy who will call just because he's thinking of you or will fight to keep the relationship alive is "overly romanticizing" anything. *shrug* All it tells me is that she's a woman who wants her man to put in some effort to show he cares. Isn't that what every woman wants? She's just spelling it out for you. 1
persevere Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I'm wary of "idealistic dreamer" profiles. Too much potential for high maintenance. It's ok to want certain things, but when the list is too long, with little mention of what they would do in return, it's too much. It falls along the same lines as those who have pictures of everything from climbing everest, sky diving, iditarod, to hunting crocs in the congo. 'Tip of the spear' and not normal, everyday relationship stuff. Trying too hard.
DjinnAgain Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I'm wary of "idealistic dreamer" profiles. Too much potential for high maintenance. It's ok to want certain things, but when the list is too long, with little mention of what they would do in return, it's too much. It falls along the same lines as those who have pictures of everything from climbing everest, sky diving, iditarod, to hunting crocs in the congo. 'Tip of the spear' and not normal, everyday relationship stuff. Trying too hard. Some of us like skydiving and climbing..... frequently.
Woggle Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I don't think that putting down that you're looking for the kind of guy who will call just because he's thinking of you or will fight to keep the relationship alive is "overly romanticizing" anything. *shrug* All it tells me is that she's a woman who wants her man to put in some effort to show he cares. Isn't that what every woman wants? She's just spelling it out for you. It's what every woman claims to want. Do it in real life and watch how fast a man gets dumped because he smothered her. 2
dasein Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I skip right over those, they tend to also be the same types whose "last read" was a Potter or Twilight book and, well they just aren't very bright people. I've never seen that kind of profile from a bright, educated woman. 1
january2011 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 It's what every woman claims to want. Do it in real life and watch how fast a man gets dumped because he smothered her. For what it's worth, my SO smothers me and I like it! I didn't write that I wanted to be smothered in my profile though. It's a waste of space to spend too much time on describing what you're looking for. It should really about what you offer. As far as I can tell, that's how most people search - they look for keywords based on what they're looking for rather than what their target person is looking for. Though to each their own - as I wrote earlier, people can write what they want, within site guidelines. If it works for them, all power to them.
El Brujo Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I don't understand men who feel the need to write poems to women. Don't women feel more creeped out than charmed when men do this??? Likewise, I don't understand women who gush about FUN this and FUN that. Do these women want a man, or their very own pre-school teacher?
Author irc333 Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 I don't understand men who feel the need to write poems to women. Don't women feel more creeped out than charmed when men do this??? Likewise, I don't understand women who gush about FUN this and FUN that. Do these women want a man, or their very own pre-school teacher? Yeah, and what's with all the women wanting a man that can make them laugh? I mean, what's with that?!?!
january2011 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) Yeah, and what's with all the women wanting a man that can make them laugh? I mean, what's with that?!?! I suspect that what's with that is that laughter suggest happiness and positivity. I'd imagine that most people like to be around other people who give them happy and positive feelings when they spend time together. And if they're looking for a life partner, someone they'd probably be spending a lot of time with, I'm not surprised that they'd want those times to be mostly (if not all) happy and positive where there's lots of laughter. I'd rather someone write in their profile that they want someone who can make them laugh and be considered overly romantic than someone write that they want someone who can make them cry and be considered 'realistic'. Edited May 30, 2012 by january2011
Author irc333 Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Actually , I was being facetious. Ever seen a profile where a person was looking for someone else to make them cry? lol I suspect that what's with that is that laughter suggest happiness and positivity. I'd imagine that most people like to be around other people who give them happy and positive feelings when they spend time together. And if they're looking for a life partner, someone they'd probably be spending a lot of time with, I'm not surprised that they'd want those times to be mostly (if not all) happy and positive where there's lots of laughter. I'd rather someone write in their profile that they want someone who can make them laugh and be considered overly romantic than someone write that they want someone who can make them cry and be considered 'realistic'.
tigressA Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I don't ever spell out things like the OP mentions in my OLD profile. It's all designed to make me look awesome so that guys will message me, and it works. It's not some laundry list of what I want out of a relationship. I think it's super-annoying, not to mention incredibly boring, when anyone does that. I've seen a lot of guys' profiles with laundry lists and I steer clear of them.
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