Being intelligent without being an intellectual

[Eternal Sunshine]

This is what I feel I am.

 

I work with intellectuals and I can see the difference between them and myself.

The definition of an intellectual is someone who likes to learn for pleasure in their spare time. They prefer to watch documentaries, read non-fiction and listen to classical music. They wouldn't be caught dead watching reality TV or reading trashy fiction books.

 

I do enjoy some reality TV shows. I enjoy reading somewhat trashy fiction. I enjoy shopping. I like Sex and the City (and Grey's Anatomy too). In my spare time, I prefer to do something fun and "learning" is usually not it. I only listen classical music very, very rarely when I work. I know next to nothing about composers. I went to opera twice and fell asleep during a 4 hour one. I don't discuss or read up on the world economy, not unless it affects me directly.

 

I also have no interest in typical geek culture - online gaming, dress-up conventions, anime and such - so I am not a "geek" either.

 

The only two non-fiction type of books that I can enjoy are philosophy and psychology. I love theatre, burlesque and art-house cinema. I like to play chess. That's as "intellectual" as I get.

 

The problem is, I am mostly turned off by a typical intellectual. They can be uptight and just plain boring. I am also hugely turned off by someone who is not intelligent. Generally, people are one or the other, with very few that I can relate to and that are like myself. Perhaps that's just because I work in academia where I am exposed to dry intellectuals all the time.

 

Just a bit of a rant

[Anela]

I'm sort of like you, although I think you're better educated than I am. I'm smart to a point, and I love learning new things in my spare time, but I have a lot of spare time. If I were busier, then I'd probably be crawling into bed with a book, or watching a dvd, and that would be that.

 

I looked up someone I spoke to some months back, and he had a quote in his profile that spoke of the contents of a woman's bookshelf - if they were almost as alluring as her body, then she should contact him. I like that, but I'm not sure that Hit By a Barn, or one of Sarah Strohmeyer's Bubbles books, would count. I'm looking for something that I can lose myself in, that isn't so light, but I also don't want something as depressing as We Need To Talk About Kevin.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am as educated as you can get BUT it's still not an intellectual-make.

 

I remember this guy that's a hard core intellectual came over to my place once. He went over to my book shelf and picked out Sydney Sheldon books and proceeded to make fun of me for an hour

[Ross MwcFan]

I'm pretty much the same, except I'm into a couple of geeky things.

[d'Arthez]

I can relate, though for slightly different reasons.

 

Though I love learning about the world, and in your terms am an intellectual, my main interest are the social sciences and philosophy - mostly all the depressing stuff people don't really want to think about. Interestingly enough, when I was about to enter university I was supposed to study Computer Science, but I realized it was too dry for my liking. So I switched to the social sciences instead.

 

Rather than learning through debating, I prefer learning through writing, reading or engaging with people rather than with ideas. I am not a generally cheerful person. And that is something a lot of people struggle greatly with. As if you are supposed to be happy about the state of the world when you are smart .

 

Yes, I am willing to debate my positions, but not to the point that it is about winning the debate (I wised up since I was 25). If someone thinks he or she can prescribe what I ought to believe, I check out of the "debate" ("cram my opinion through your throat" seems a better description). Such behavior is very, very unappealing to me.

 

___________________

 

I think from the perspective of an intellectual, people like me come across as lesser intellectuals (judged by their own frame of reference). They don't seem to "get me", when we have a difference of opinion on matters. It is as if they are too insecure about themselves, and cannot handle the notion that other people:

a) may have other ideas

b) may have ideas that are wrong

 

Behavior such as described in post #3 is atrocious to say the least. Hope you never had the "pleasure" of dealing with that guy again ES.

[zengirl]

The definition of an intellectual is someone who likes to learn for pleasure in their spare time. They prefer to watch documentaries, read non-fiction and listen to classical music. They wouldn't be caught dead watching reality TV or reading trashy fiction books.

 

I consider myself an intellectual, but not by your definition. I don't really like MOST documentaries (I do like some - the funny or hip ones - and I like TED talks in small doses), I read some nonfiction but more fiction, and I hate classical music. However, I do like to learn in my spare time. I suppose I'm more of a nerd with nerdy hobbies than you are, but I also like many of the things you list.

 

To me, it's a spectrum more than an is/not thing. But I consider myself an intellectual because I value knowledge and learning and enjoy learning generally. I still read some trashy stuff, including LS! And I watch some reality TV, etc.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I can relate, though for slightly different reasons.

 

Though I love learning about the world, and in your terms am an intellectual, my main interest are the social sciences and philosophy - mostly all the depressing stuff people don't really want to think about. Interestingly enough, when I was about to enter university I was supposed to study Computer Science, but I realized it was too dry for my liking. So I switched to the social sciences instead.

 

 

I actually did my Bachelors degree in Mathematics and Computer Science. I loved it, yet I was unable to socially relate to people in my course. We didn't share any interests and they were into typical nerdy/geeky stuff. Yet, I got better marks than most. It was mostly men and they were stunned by my marks as they considered me a "bimbo", mostly because I was very girly and loved to dress up.

 

I feel like I am a contradictory mix of a lot of things and therefore generally unable to relate to most people, finding my path in life very difficult.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Zengirl, I actually enjoy listening to TED talks

[TaraMaiden]

I consider myself an intellectual, but not by your definition. .....

To me, it's a spectrum more than an is/not thing. But I consider myself an intellectual because I value knowledge and learning and enjoy learning generally. I still read some trashy stuff, including LS! .....

 

I quoted the points relevant.

I'm also apparently quite intelligent, but i take these IQ tests with a large dose of salt... however, i scored high in 3 different ones, (128, 131, 139) but take that as you will. However, the moment you say that you're intelligent/intellectual, people take that as big-headed, and become critical.

 

I don't mean to be big-headed, I'm not intending to come across as big-headed and I apologise if people get the impression that I'm big-headed.

 

It's fine to think, or believe you're intelligent/intellectual, but it's not ok to admit to it or voice the opinion you are.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's OK to call yourself both TM, at least in this thread

 

I did call myself intelligent

[d'Arthez]

I actually did my Bachelors degree in Mathematics and Computer Science. I loved it, yet I was unable to socially relate to people in my course. We didn't share any interests and they were into typical nerdy/geeky stuff. Yet, I got better marks than most. It was mostly men and they were stunned by my marks as they considered me a "bimbo", mostly because I was very girly and loved to dress up.

I am sorry to hear that your fellow students were so dismissive of you, and put you down because you did not fit their ideas of what a student in your department should be like. Attribute that to a lack of social skills and ego insecurity on their part. Had nothing to do with you.

 

I ran into a similar problem when I was in the Social Sciences department - I was an outcast because I was actually interested in the subject at hand.

 

I feel like I am a contradictory mix of a lot of things and therefore generally unable to relate to most people, finding my path in life very difficult.

To a large extent we all are contradictory mixes of things. No one is perfect, everyone has their flaws and issues. What matters is ultimately coming to terms with who you are, and try to live your life in accordance with your own unique being.

 

Because you are so out of the ordinary (I'd venture to guess that intelligence-wise you'd belong to the top 0.01% of the population) it is hard to find someone, who is intelligent and at the same time, not blindly ruled by their intelligence.

[Anela]

 

I don't mean to be big-headed, I'm not intending to come across as big-headed and I apologise if people get the impression that I'm big-headed.

 

 

I've never had that impression.

 

People have been starting threads about things that I've been mulling over, and this has been one of them. I just feel a little intimidated at times, and at other times, like a total dunce. I like the TED Talks, too.

[Nohbody]

It's interesting when smart people allow being smart to shape their identity.

And then there are pretentious people...

[Taramere]

I visited this maths professor's house once when I was a kid (he and his wife were friends of my parents) and I remember looking at his bookcase which was absolutely heaving with Dick Francis novels and light fiction. There were other more serious books in there too, but there was a lot of pulp stuff...and good on him. I think it's healthy to have that balance.

 

That said, I do absolutely love a lot of classical music...which is associated with being dry and snotty. The thing is that the effect some of it has on me is what I imagine injecting myself with a drug would be like. It's amazing, but I view it as a fairly base activity that is all about emotion and physical responses (a buzz) rather than having anything to do with intellect or taking myself to a higher plane of being.

 

I think it's it's only dry, highbrow or a bit pretentious if somebody doesn't really like the music, literature or art they're consuming, but is forcing themselves to listen/develop a taste for it because it's the done thing. On the other hand, there's probably some merit in doing that if it it encourages a more disciplined outlook as opposed to a very hedonistic one where you constantly just do whatever feels good.

[Eternal Sunshine]

The other problem is, when you do highly intellectually engaging work, you do want to read some light fiction at home without having to think much.

 

There are also people that are intellectuals without being intelligent - that's probably the group that I relate to least.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I think it's it's only dry, highbrow or a bit pretentious if somebody doesn't really like the music, literature or art they're consuming, but is forcing themselves to listen/develop a taste for it because it's the done thing. On the other hand, there's probably some merit in doing that if it it encourages a more disciplined outlook as opposed to a very hedonistic one where you constantly just do whatever feels good.

 

That is an interesting way to look at it. I can also see some merit if someone wants to improve themselves or broaden their horizons, even if it means doing things they don't completely enjoy. I think I would admire such a person.

 

It's the people that for example, display books they have never read just so others would perceive them as more intellectual that are

[Eternal Sunshine]

I attempted reading "100 years of solitude" and didn't get very far

[d'Arthez]

The other problem is, when you do highly intellectually engaging work, you do want to read some light fiction at home without having to think much.

I think this is a relative statement. What to you is light fiction may still be quite "high" fiction to most other people. Even if you do "veg" at say 10% of your capacities, you are probably still picking up more than people who engage fully with the same task.

 

My ex could never understand how playing online chess was mostly relaxing for me. I simply played on auto-pilot. She on the other hand, spent a lot of time watching television shows. She is not stupid by any stretch of the imagination either. Whenever she would discuss the shows with her friends it was clear that her "vegging" was certainly not the equivalent of total disengagement.

[Nohbody]

I'm a former Marine Infantryman, three tour Iraq War Vet, I've led men in combat, I've trod the halls of Babylon, I'm a repeated college drop out, and I'm reading Ulysses by James Joyce for fun.

 

Wanna go on a date?

[Eternal Sunshine]

I do really badly with love/dating.

 

I think that I am drawn to reality dating shows and LS because I am trying to gather "data" through experiences of others and in an effort to better understand myself and my mistakes. For example, I have almost no interest in other reality TV shows. Hollywood gossip is something I have zero interest in also.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I'm a former Marine Infantryman, three tour Iraq War Vet, I've led men in combat, I've trod the halls of Babylon, I'm a repeated college drop out, and I'm reading Ulysses by James Joyce for fun.

 

Wanna go on a date?

 

You do sound very interesting, come to Afterlife

[Eternal Sunshine]

I think this is a relative statement. What to you is light fiction may still be quite "high" fiction to most other people. Even if you do "veg" at say 10% of your capacities, you are probably still picking up more than people who engage fully with the same task.

 

My ex could never understand how playing online chess was mostly relaxing for me. I simply played on auto-pilot. She on the other hand, spent a lot of time watching television shows. She is not stupid by any stretch of the imagination either. Whenever she would discuss the shows with her friends it was clear that her "vegging" was certainly not the equivalent of total disengagement.

 

So D'A how good are you at chess? I can probably beat you

[d'Arthez]

So D'A how good are you at chess? I can probably beat you

As I said I am a decent amateur. Played a proper GM once in a rapid tournament. Held him to a draw with the Black pieces. So I can't be that bad.

 

But you are welcome to try .

[Taramere]

That is an interesting way to look at it. I can also see some merit if someone wants to improve themselves or broaden their horizons, even if it means doing things they don't completely enjoy. I think I would admire such a person.

 

It's the people that for example, display books they have never read just so others would perceive them as more intellectual that are

 

I'll tell you what's worse. What's worse is when they actually manage to wade through those books for the sole purpose of lecturing other people on them.

 

Years ago I was at a workplace Christmas party (I was a student at the time, and the party was at one of my part-time workplaces). I got collared by this very nice but very boring colleague who wanted to talk to me about....quantum physics. Not an area he had any kind of professional knowledge of or background in. His qualification, for lecturing me, was that he'd been reading a book on the subject.

 

I mean, really. I had not, at any point, indicated any interest in or aptitude for quantum physics. Out of politeness, I listened to this lecture while round about me colleagues were getting drunk, bitching, flirting, having fun etc. It really was one of those moments when I felt close to being bored to tears.

 

I wanted to grab him by the throat and yell "I am not interested in quantum physics. If there ever comes a point when I do feel like educating myself on that subject, I will read a book. A book written by an expert.

[Els]

I don't really think people fit into such neat pigeonholes. I enjoy documentaries, classical music, learning for the sake of learning, and many of the 'geek culture' things such as gaming and programming. I also happen to enjoy romantic comedies, drama/reality shows, gushing over pictures of cute kittens, and thinking about what flavour of ice cream I should have tomorrow.

 

Does that make me an intellectual? A non-intellectual? I don't know, and, frankly, don't care. I'm me, and most people come in shades of grey anyhow. I enjoy people who have that sort of balance.