Squishy_Belle Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I decided today would be a good day to sort out some stuff seen as im feeling a little cluttered at the min and its so not like me. Well no matter where i look there are wedding pictures and other memories EVERYWHERE! What shall i do? Put all the memories in a box or burn them? I just don't know how i feel about it all 1
Gulf-Delta Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I decided today would be a good day to sort out some stuff seen as im feeling a little cluttered at the min and its so not like me. Well no matter where i look there are wedding pictures and other memories EVERYWHERE! What shall i do? Put all the memories in a box or burn them? I just don't know how i feel about it all Aye. I went through the same, though I have no wedding pics or anything. I just put mine in a box, taped it a million times until it's impossible to get into. I've a packrat my whole life. I don't throw **** away especially not stuff with good memories attached.
Exit Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Don't throw it away, at least not now. Some day you may recover to the point where you will be able to enjoy those memories without them causing you pain. Or you may very well come to a point where you are absolutely certain that they belong in the trash. But the point is don't decide while you're still emotional about it. I kinda like Gulf-delta's idea, put a ton of tape on it so it's not easy to get in to, put it in a closet and forget about it. Cleaning up and getting rid of clutter can do great things for your mood.
Rorschach64 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 My opinion is to destroy them because, firstly, holding on to such objects full of memories only will delay moving on, secondly, it creates a sense that the relationship is done and gone...you are making a choice to not to hold on. Hopefully that made sense. When I tossed out photos, gifts, and etc. I didn't want to do it. I felt that I was betraying my ex, her family, and everything we had, especially if she came back I didn't want to tell her that I threw everything out so easily. I ended up 'manning up' and tossed the objects out....it was a very bitter and sobering act.
ToyWithMe812 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I decided today would be a good day to sort out some stuff seen as im feeling a little cluttered at the min and its so not like me. Well no matter where i look there are wedding pictures and other memories EVERYWHERE! What shall i do? Put all the memories in a box or burn them? I just don't know how i feel about it all It depends. If you have kids I would hang on to them. If not, maybe save a handful and stow them away somewhere you don't have easy access and see how you feel about it down the road. Personally, I returned a whole trove (cards, gifts, etc.) of things to her when I later learned that she had cheated on me. What is worse is that I still have a couple of things I want to return in addition to money. She of course asked for none of them and insists I don't have to repay her. That is not my concern. I want to do it and will hopefully get there one day.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I decided today would be a good day to sort out some stuff seen as im feeling a little cluttered at the min and its so not like me. Well no matter where i look there are wedding pictures and other memories EVERYWHERE! What shall i do? Put all the memories in a box or burn them? I just don't know how i feel about it all I waited until I was in a good place and trashed everything, it was pointless to keep. In your case, if you have kids, keep the photos. If these photos and memorabilia do not serve you in any way, get rid of it.
Derevko Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Guess I'm in the minority here. I feel like tossing it all is like trying to forget the entire relationship. If it was an abusive or unhealthy relationship...yeah, chuck it. But if it was a good relationship with a bad ending, a relationship where you grew as a person, maybe a memory box isn't a bad thing. I have one. Threw it up in the attic because it's too painful to look at any of that stuff. But one day in the distant future when it doesn't hurt anymore, I'd like to have the option of reminiscing. Everything that happened (good and bad) is part of who I am. Throwing it all away feels like a form of denial to me. Just my opinion...
Author Squishy_Belle Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 I've been thinking back and forth and i don't think im ready to do anything with all the stuff. I think im just going to leave it all where it is till i decide. We don't have kids and he was very mentally and emotionally abusive, he did things that are going to stick with me for the rest of my life but when i see our beach wedding pics i can't help but smile and feel a bit sad at the same time. I thought i would feel a lot of hate seing pics of us together but i don't. Im not sure what it is that i feel but i really don't think im ready to toss them out.
shayla Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 When I saw a picture of the woman he cheated on me with on their wedding day wearing the same necklace that he bought me, I trashed every single thing he ever gave me. It's like he never existed, which is the way I want it. 1
Gulf-Delta Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I've been thinking back and forth and i don't think im ready to do anything with all the stuff. I think im just going to leave it all where it is till i decide. We don't have kids and he was very mentally and emotionally abusive, he did things that are going to stick with me for the rest of my life but when i see our beach wedding pics i can't help but smile and feel a bit sad at the same time. I thought i would feel a lot of hate seing pics of us together but i don't. Im not sure what it is that i feel but i really don't think im ready to toss them out. That's acceptable, for now. I let my "ex stuff" sit around for a couple months before I did something with it. But evenutally, I just bit the bullet, and put the stuffed animals, the photos, the handmade cards and gifts, even the engagement ring, and set it in a box, which now sits in my closet.
Renard99 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I agree with those that say keep it for now, hide it away until the some time in the future when you can look at it all with a level head and a level heart. If then you feel 'this is just taking up space' you can trash it, or, if you think 'those were good times' you can be glad that you didn't trash it all those weeks/months/years ago. I, personally, agree with Derevko, and have done the exact same thing. I made myself a box of memories and placed them on a really high shelf in my closet that I don't use. To thrown those memories away is to deny the existence of 7 years of my life.... a quarter of my life so far. It was only towards the end that it went bad but there were many good times in the years before that. Good times that have shaped me into the man I am now. Even some of the bad times in those years taught me lessons that I shouldn't forget. I know the circumstances are slightly different but I view it like keeping a childhood teddy bear. There will be people out there who had a great childhood, and others who didn't, yet I can guarantee that there are millions of people out there in the world who have their worn, battered and tired old teddy bears sat in a closet or attic somewhere........ a reminder of another time, a piece of the jigsaw that is their life.
Mr Scorpio Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I've kept everything in a box. Granted, most of the things I've kept I obtained years before my ex and I ever dated. I'll admit, one of my fondest memories of the second-go-around of the relationship was showing her photos I had held onto that she had never seen, and the letter that she wrote me in 1992 when we were teens. I still have it all, because I still hold out hope, because I'm still a damned fool.
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