I play second fiddle to everyone else..don't I deserve time too?

[GoodIntentions82]

Hi I'm new to this site(it won't let me log-on) but I've got a problem with my boyfriend. We've been together for about 3 years and for about 1 1/2 of those years we've lived together. I moved to where he was and gave up my family and friends to be with him. Since I've been here I haven't met anyone to really replace them with so all I have for companionship is him. His family and friends are still here and I feel as though he spends much more time with them than he does with me.

 

I recently lost my job and now spend my time looking for a job or watching tv. He works till late at night so the time I spend with him is really important to me. However whenever he has a free moment or he has a day off he's ready to spend it on the phone with friends or going to visit them without me. I spend my days at home waiting for my chance to see him and when he does get home he's tired and wants to go to bed.

 

I just want to know what to do about it. Am I asking too much of him to do something with me for a change? Or do I just need to get out more?

[moimeme]

Time to ask him what he thinks a relationship should be. A lot of people want a relationship for companionship, and that's, IMHO, how it should be. However it seems that some people want a partner to take care of the house and be a maid for them and serve them sexually but not actually be a part of their life. Could be that's how his dad and mom were and how he thinks a relationship should be.

 

Then you two need to sort out what you're going to do about this. If he's unwilling to spend more time with you, it's time to bail. Have you told him you like and want his company? Have you asked him to do stuff with you and he refuses? If you haven't talked to him about it at all, he may not even have realized you feel neglected. On the other hand, if you ask him to spend time with you and he refuses, you have problems which need resolution, possibly with a counsellor.