weathervane Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I am a bisexual (I think) girl, broke up with my ex-girlfriend more than half a year ago. I have emotionally moved on, but she hasn't. I think she is TRYING to get involved with other people, but she has made it clear to me that she will always love me, and I know she would want to get back together if it were possible. I care about her but have never felt nearly as strongly. As I said, I've moved on. But... I still really desire her. She lives far away, and has vaguely mentioned the possibility of flying out here for a visit this summer, if I helped pay for her plane ticket. I would really love to, so that we could spend some passionate time together. That would be amazing, and I know she would have an amazing time, too. But... it might give her false hope that we might reconcile. So is it wrong for me to pursue this, considering we are at different places emotionally?
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I am a bisexual (I think) girl, broke up with my ex-girlfriend more than half a year ago. I have emotionally moved on, but she hasn't. I think she is TRYING to get involved with other people, but she has made it clear to me that she will always love me, and I know she would want to get back together if it were possible. I care about her but have never felt nearly as strongly. As I said, I've moved on. But... I still really desire her. She lives far away, and has vaguely mentioned the possibility of flying out here for a visit this summer, if I helped pay for her plane ticket. I would really love to, so that we could spend some passionate time together. That would be amazing, and I know she would have an amazing time, too. But... it might give her false hope that we might reconcile. So is it wrong for me to pursue this, considering we are at different places emotionally? It's absolutely wrong. You are satisfying your desire, but will leave her even sadder than she is right now. Selfish of you to do so unless you both are on the same page that it means nothing. It will make her feel worthless. All you want is the physical thing, but she's not good enough to pursue a real relationship. Think about it if the situation were in reverse.
Author weathervane Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 It's absolutely wrong. You are satisfying your desire, but will leave her even sadder than she is right now. Selfish of you to do so unless you both are on the same page that it means nothing. It will make her feel worthless. All you want is the physical thing, but she's not good enough to pursue a real relationship. Think about it if the situation were in reverse. Yep. You're right. Thanks for putting it so clearly for me.
Own Worst Enemy Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 And she isn't. If you tell her honestly what it would be, she will hear "we can get back together". Sad but true
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