moosekaka Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 A funny thing happened this morning...for the first time in a long time that I can remember I woke up and didn't have her in my mind, didn't have this feeling of bitter regret..... I don't know what I did any different for this moment to arrive, in fact the last few weeks have been especially painful mentally and just a few days ago I had a dream about her. Has this happened with anyone else? And did you relapse?
Author moosekaka Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 I was out of it for six months after the breakup. The first two months I was in denial and angry. January to February I reached my breaking point, finally accepted that things could not go back to the way it was and quit. Things were confusing after that, feeling liberated, scared and sad at the same time. March and April I spent a lot of time at the animal shelter surrounding myself with dogs to escape and feel loved. It was only at the beginning of May that things started to look up, I made some progress at my new job and could see my life moving forward again. Actually I had a relapse in April and May when her birthday came and went and when she was due to give her project presentation. When I found out she was going away for the summer to do an internship I felt relief and sadness, happy for her yet jealous of her success in moving on. I have this nagging voice in me to go say goodbye to her for fear of never seeing her again, yet I can't because the same voice is telling me it won't end well. I don't know why I am so affected by this girl as we only knew each other for about six months. I remembered one of the arguments towards the end she told me in ten years time this all won't be important. I know that in ten years I will remember this and having had to start over again because of her....it will be important for me.
Frank13 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Has this happened with anyone else? And did you relapse? Yes and yes. There have been a couple times when I felt I was finally turning a corner. Things in my life are going really well. I should be as happy as anyone, but after 5 months NC, I feel worse than ever. When I relapsed the first time, I was surprised at the intensity of my feelings. I thought a relapse would simply not be so intense. After 8 hours I started feeling better so I thought maybe relapses are supposed to be intense but just not last as long for each one you have. Then the past few days, for the first time, I feel myself falling into a depression. I am really questioning the purpose of going on. I am losing interest in everything.
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