flitzanu Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 HI guys... soo I need some opinions here.. so for the last few days ive been getting phone calls and texts and have not answered any of them as Ive been really feeling alot better and been able to stay strong and not reply. Theyve become increasingly more and more hard to read however. Some of the texts are like "I need you right now, Im so sad I dont understand why youre not answering" "after being together for two years you cant even reply to me when Im sad... I feel like your dating someone new and if you are I deserve for you to tell me" "I cant do this anymore I dont know why youre not answering... please answer" etc. Now.. Do I stick to NC or do I tell her to stop calling and texting as this was all of her doing? And she was the one who said "we cant talk anymore its stupid" 2 weeks ago. I actually dont really feel good about opening the lines of communication again even to tell her to F*** off and get out of my life? I do have strong feelings for her still and still love her but she screwed me over so her loss. Do I ruin 2 weeks of NC and tell her to stop texting or stick to the plan no matter how many calls and texts she sends? no, you do not reply. doesn't matter if she's sad or complaining, she isn't your problem. she needs to put on her big girl panties and take responsibility for her actions. you aren't her whipping boy to make her feel ok about her life. also, NO, you do NOT TELL HER you are ignoring her. big mistake everyone loves to make. telling someone you're ignoring them or telling them not to call is just creating drama. truly ignoring means TRULY ignoring without consequence. the only thing you should consider replying to is if she says "i want to work on this relationship and get back together". 2
Tiera D Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 in your heart by ignoring her you are telling her the strongest message "You Reap what you Sow" besides its too early and give it a little more time and i think she will crack.OP pls remember b4 you do anything major ask our counsel 1st ok TD
Author VandelayInd Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 Well closing in on 3 weeks NC in a couple of days. Its been hard. Especially since she started texting and calling non stop at around the 2 week mark. I havent received anything from her for 5 days except for a drunk phone call on Saturday at 2 in the morning. Ive been doing well. But today I seem to have taken a step back. I cant stop thinking about the texts and the non stop calls. "Ive been thinking alot about what we had and how special it was..." -- this text especially got to me as it kind of seemed as though she was hinting at something between us. Anyways, I refused to reply to this constant flow of texts and calls even thought it was hard. Now after all of this, Im thinking about her persistence Im wondering if it was just aggressive form of breadcrumbs/ego boost or she legit wanted something here?
Tiera D Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Its breadcrumbs,if she wants you to know she wants reconciliation,she will make it clear,i mean crystal clear that she is willing to change to suit you but she isnt doing anything like that.I say keep doing NC,your doing ok now arent you compared to when you started?So why take a purposeless risk?Think about it man TD 1
Author VandelayInd Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 Hi guys. I have made it 23 days NC. Im really not doing any better unfortunately. I have been up and down in the process, week 1 was unbearable and then week 2 was actually pretty good, and now since Ive hit week 3 its been just the same as week 3... I really feel bad. During week 2 I had mentioned that I received much contact from her (20 calls, 20 text messages) asking me why I wasnt answering, shes sad and its really hard, saying shes been thinking about how special what we had was, telling me that she deserved for me to tell her if I was dating someone thinking thats the reason I wasnt answering her, etc. Anyways its been a week since I have received any kind of contact from her. And truthfully, even though I didnt break NC during her reaching out to me, I think I feel down and sad that she isnt contacting me anymore. I almost regret not picking the phone up and hearing what she had to say, she may have wanted to reconcile but I will never know now and she probably has moved on to a rebound after realizing and giving up that I wouldnt answer. Did I do the right thing or did I close the door on a potential reconciliation? Also, Ive been keeping busy going to the gym alot and really enjoy it, but my confidence and self esteem are still so low right now. I feel like this was all my fault and if this girl doesnt want me why would anyone else want me, I have a lot of regret and wondering what is so bad about me right now. Does anyone have any books or links that could possibly push me in the right direction into getting my confidence back or even being able to love myself again. Sorry guys! -Appreciate as always any help
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