really sad about going to no contact, need some guidance

[bentleychris23]

hey guys. been broken up with my ex for 2 months. it was a mutual split due to distance and constant fighting. we speak briefly every two to three weeks and thought we could remain friendly, but then when other girls and guys come into the picture i realized it gets really ugly. we dated for 3 years. i'm finally going to no contact and told her im blocking her number and facebook, and i'm feeling like ****. it's almost like a death, where all of a sudden for the next year or two i physically cant possibly talk to her. just need some advice on how to get through this, and a little reassurance too. it's really hurting me a lot. thanks.

[bentleychris23]

really need some support guys. anyone?

[d'Arthez]

You seem to have a good plan in place. Stick to NC, work on yourself, keep yourself occupied, spend time with friends, plunge yourself into work / school, so that you won't have too much opportunity to think about your ex.

 

Since it has only been 2 months, and you are still hurting, I would not start dating just yet. Because invariably the new person will remind you of your ex, and make it even harder for you to move on.

[bentleychris23]

how long do you think itll take till i can see her as separate from me? im at the point where i found out she fooled around with a guy and i got unbelievably hurt, even though we're not together and i've done the same thing. i want to get through this.

[d'Arthez]

Hard to say how long it will take. It depends on so many things such as how good you are at blocking all the info out, your personal characteristics (some people DO have an easier time with breakups than others).

 

When you are still thinking a lot about your ex, you are definitely not ready to date someone else.

[Joaquin]

The way to get through it is to remind yourself that if you don't go no contact you will not move on. You will not heal. You will not have put yourself in the best possible frame of mind for your next relationship. You have to go no contact to emotionally detach from someone it didn't work out with.

[bentleychris23]

ok, i mean blocking the facebook and actually blocking the number is putting myself in a great place for no contact. its just so hard to accept the fact that i have to forget about her. half of me doesn't want too, but the other half knows its the right decision and i'll be happier in the long run.

[Gulf-Delta]

I get ya dude.

 

My ex was my best friend before we started dating. We were close even after the breakup. Now she won't even talk to me...

 

Losing my best friend sucks so much more than losing my fiancee. I really wish we could be friends...she's the only person I've ever felt compleltly comfortable around and could tell everything too. I've never been able to just....do/talk about nothing with a person and still be having fun.

 

I hope NC works for you...for me it's hell. I think about her everyday. First thing I think of when I wake, last thing before I fall asleep. Everything I do, eat, watch, etc reminds me of her in someway...even my job and hobbies do. I spend every day missing her and wanting her in my life again, not even for a relationship. I just miss my best friend. I do love her still. It really is a case of loving someone enough to let them go and find their own happiness.

 

Good luck to you though.

[bentleychris23]

thanks for the help guys.

[Glove_slap]

are they in a new relationship or are you talking to anyone at the moment? I ask because if not then it sort of puts you in a good position to get back with them that is if you want them back which doesn't sound like a good idea since the two of you fought all the time and it was a mutual break up of course. NC as sounds like a great idea, enjoy the single life, go out and have a great time. don't try to fill the void with self-harming activities like drinking/smoking or doing drugs is probably the best advice I can give you.