is it over??

[thatdamndeejay]

Here is the story....

So my (now ex) gf and I decided to take the plunge and move in together after being in a serious relationship for a little over a year. We both work at the same place but in different departments. Anyway three days ago we got into a huge fight over the dumbist **** ever. I made reservations for a nice dinner that began at 7pm. I told her about it then went and played xbox. My plan was to play until 5:00 then get ready and leave with her. She saw I was playing xbox and made the statement "you made a 7pm reservation so you can play xbox". So I turn the game off and asked her what did she wanna do before dinner....she responded "I shouldn't hafta plan anything, your the bf, you need to treat me better." -This began the argument.

Anyway I became upset (I have a huge temper) and continued the argument. I noticed myself getting really pissed so I said "**** it, go be with your friends, just leave me the **** alone". She kept yelling about how I don't care, how she deserves better, how I need to grow up ect..

I decided that I need to leave because my anger was getting the best of me...I tried to leave for the next 5min or so but she literally kept stepping in front of me. So I go to the bathroom and slam the door...I tried to lock it but she was holding the knob which prevented me from locking her out. Finally I open the door...grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her away and into the bed. I stood over her and yelled then I walked out the house. I didn't physically hit her but I did/still do feel horrible for losing my cool. She called the police as I was leaving...when I got to my car I sat there and tried to mellow out. While sitting...I was greeted by the police who got me outta the car and on the street. I was cuffed and taken away. I spent the night in holding and was released the next day. Needless to say, we are not together...not because I don't love her but because she is afraid of me hurting her. I made an appointment to talk to someone about my anger, I apologized to her and her family (she told them I got physical with her) Im even willing to help her find a new place (she is not on the lease we have because of credit issues). She doesn't want to see me or be near me. So I'm letting her stay the week at my home to give her time and space. She lived about an hour away from the job. The daily work commute is expensive. In the meantime I'm staying with my family. I even gave her $$ because she spent most of it on bathroom decor that she is taking back.

 

Now the shady part--

She told everyone that I'm a violent person...her friends, family, co workers hate me. She will text me hateful things...I keep my cool. I told her how sorry I am and what I plan on doing to help myself. She doesn't wanna be with me anymore....so why should I continue to let her stay at my home? She isn't paying rent, and what pissed me off is that she is giving me hell for saying that I'm going to stop by my home to pick up clothes, deodorant, ect...

 

I know its a novel...I'm sorry. But Im just venting. Any input would help....

[Balzac]

Keep going with this, you're asking the right question.

[dark1san]

First thing, and I know you realized it, you shouldn't of touched her. That got you in big trouble. Bad thing is now, she's in your place, cops have a record that you put your hands on her, not much you can do except talk to your landlord.

 

You go back in the apartment, she might have you hauled off again. Stay away from her for now, block her calls.

 

What you need to do is like I said, call your landlord and get a copy of the lease where it shows only your name on it. Take it to the police station and ask to speak to an officer and explain to him what is going on, and see what you can do.

 

Just do not contact her right now, she can and most likely will get you for harassment.

[Tiera D]

girls are the dominant species nowdays cause the law is on their side in western nations,luckily at my place its 50/50 ..Anyway get anger management courses and lay low 4 now..

 

TD

[aiyam]

Your getting help with your anger issues is a good thing but now just to stay safe for you and her is to have a third party with both of you when you talk and settle things. And it might help you do it in a public place. Because you're right, it is your homa and as far as I can tell in your post that you care for her situation as well

[thatdamndeejay]

Thanks, she called me last night and explained that we shouldn't be living together since we are not married and for her safety. I told her that I am in no position to debate over her descision....I agreed that she should move. I found a friend that is willing to crash at my apartment after she leaves. He is okay with sleeping on the couch for a few months and he even offered to pay 300 a month. I told my ex this in hopes of speeding up the whole process.

 

When I told her, she was pissed and said that I was already moving on. She even explained how charging him 300 and her 550 was rude. Then she said that she isn't exactly sure of where she will be moving too. Through all of her uncertainty, the only thing she knows is that she doesn't wanna live with me. Im starting to think that she is either going to--

1. Wait until after I pay rent then change her mind about moving in.

2. See if she can stay with me while only paying 300 rather than 550

"Get help, then we can possibly be together". I have my first anger management class on Wednesday. She now wants to call me, text me, say to me how she loves me BUT she won't budge on letting me move into my home.

[Tiera D]

i hope u have enough money in ur bank account..because personally i will not let any woman take advantage on me concerning monetary issues..on the other hand,yes u should respect her decision to not stay with u atm,anger management issues is a must

 

1 tip to control your anger : Think about the consequences and whether what would you gain by getting angry

 

TD

[gabrielly]

Heavy story...but I believe you will cope with your problems!