Women, question about a particular physical "flaw" on a guy.

May 29, 2012

YOu know...I've been a female for many years Kaylan. None of my friends, aunts, Mom...yada yada have ever made fun of a man with a beer belly, moobs or because he was balding. Although the women who have been married for many years might tease their husbands for things they do just as I heard the husbands (My dad, uncles..yada yada) do in return. But it was playful. Not meant to be mean. If you are hanging out with girls and boys that do this, then you got some jacked up over critical, petty, friends.

We all got flaws. And I think people that look to pick on other people's flaws, no matter what they may be, actually feel more crappy about themselves because they have to put someone else down in order to feel superior in some way. Next time your Mom says something about someone else, just ask her, "Mom, do you think that's a nice thing to say?" My older brother can be very critical of other people. One time he showed me this picture he took of this 80 year old guy wearing plaid bell bottoms. I thought the old guy looked cute. My brother was making fun of him. So I asked my brother, "Do you think that guy would appreicate being a joke captured on your Iphone to share with friends?" It made him stop and shut up about it. Another time he was making fun of this guy walking buy that had patches of hair missing ackwardly from his head. I just turned to my brother and asked him do you think he decided one day that he just wanted patches of hair missing? Again, made my brother shut up.

Next time you hear one of your male friends pick on a girl about her body or you hear a female friend pick on a guy about his, talk to them about what they are saying. You seem intelligent enough to understand that this isn't cool. Be the catalyst to get them talking and thinking about people differently then just in the narrow terms they are dictating when they mock someone else. I think God gave the brother I have so I could teach him some things and he could teach me some things growing up. We are two very different people and I hope I've taught him to be kinder and gentler to people while he's taught more about being more practical.

We live in such a petty world. And with technology, it's only heightened. People need to stop and think about why they say and think the things they think and be more mindful of their impact on others.

Your signature is bitterly ironic DY. You have an incredible capacity to patronise everyone.

May 29, 2012

I recently heard a comment made by a doctor that is popular in hollywood that said that a lot of women in Hollywood aren't very healthy at all despite sporting super thin glamorized bodies. That it was actually rare to find someone that balanced those elements between health and body weight well. I wish I could find that article.i will see if I can.

Yeah I have read similar reports, and honestly I find it hysterical when they do the body fat percentage things and look at me and always say I'm over the normal and I look back and just say boobs are made of fat, I have larger than normal boobs, duh! Then they find out everywhere else is mainly muscle, thoughmy thighs look bigger, they are all muscle from being a competitive equestrian,we hold our selves up with our thighs and calves so they better be all muscle!

May 29, 2012

I think, I hope, as time goes on and people get older and age, they realize that such tiny 'flaws' are simply non-existent.

I'm sure many men would look at me with clothes, even tight ones, and think "holy ****, she looks great for 3 pregnancies" but hey, the stretch marks and skin are still there. No amount of exercise will fix that, I worked out more in pregnancy than most women have their entire lives, I have been an athlete for almost a decade.

I think when people are young though, they don't have as much other things to concentrate or worry about so they focus on the tiny details. Those tiny details are so bloody insignificant.

To me it's like high school. In high school, your world revolves around the social circles, the teachers, the gossip, you can spend 20 minutes bitching about what locker you are going to get. You look back now in your 20's and you think...... "really? Was THAT worthy of all that attention?? My goodness, that was all a bunch of insignificant crap".

Stretch marks, particularly tiny ones like young men have after working out or losing weight, certainly fall into my definition of 'future insignificant crap".

And truthfully, women are far too terrified of their own bodies being judged to really care about yours.

Many men will say that sleeping with a 35 year old woman is a lot more fun than an 18 year old. Why? Because the 35+ year old woman has learned to be comfortable in her skin whereas a 'flawless' 18 year old is terrified of being judged over the slightest imperfection that you might need a magnifying glass for.

May 29, 2012

Stretch marks, particularly tiny ones like young men have after working out or losing weight, certainly fall into my definition of 'future insignificant crap".

+ 1.

(ten characters)

May 29, 2012

And truthfully, women are far too terrified of their own bodies being judged to really care about yours.

Disagree about women being too terrified of their own bodies. Some are, some aren't. As far as judging, the more superficial and insecure the woman, the more she'll judge tiny "imperfections" on a lover's body, with the reverse also holding true.

Many men will say that sleeping with a 35 year old woman is a lot more fun than an 18 year old. Why? Because the 35+ year old woman has learned to be comfortable in her skin whereas a 'flawless' 18 year old is terrified of being judged over the slightest imperfection that you might need a magnifying glass for.

Was this necessary, to knock 18 year olds?

May 29, 2012

I am not speaking in absolutes, obviously everything is generalized, and no I am not knocking 18 year olds. If you were a super self-confident in-her-skin 18 year old girl then good, but that isn't the norm either, many of them worry about their slight imperfections and that is a shame because there is nothing for them to be ashamed of.

May 29, 2012

Many men will say that sleeping with a 35 year old woman is a lot more fun than an 18 year old. Why? Because the 35+ year old woman has learned to be comfortable in her skin whereas a 'flawless' 18 year old is terrified of being judged over the slightest imperfection that you might need a magnifying glass for.

The only guy I know whos been with a woman that age is my ex drummer. And it wasnt his bag of tea cus he said "her skin was all stretchy and stuff...never again".

It kinda ruined my milf fantasies for a little while, but then I figured her might just not got a hot one =P. But Im hoping he knew that skin loses its elasticity with age if one doesnt work out or anything. He didnt really mention her skills or anything though.

May 30, 2012

The only guy I know whos been with a woman that age is my ex drummer. And it wasnt his bag of tea cus he said "her skin was all stretchy and stuff...never again".

It kinda ruined my milf fantasies for a little while, but then I figured her might just not got a hot one =P. But Im hoping he knew that skin loses its elasticity with age if one doesnt work out or anything. He didnt really mention her skills or anything though.

Wow... All stretchy and stuff? I am 40 and had a kid, so, no, I'm not as tight in some areas as I used to be... But at 34 (when I met my H), I wasn't really that different from when I was 24. Maybe she'd lost a bunch of weight or something so had loose skin.

May 30, 2012

The only guy I know whos been with a woman that age is my ex drummer. And it wasnt his bag of tea cus he said "her skin was all stretchy and stuff...never again".

Wait....she was 35?

So is he saying he's "never" going to have sex with a woman 35 or older every again? Is he planning on ever being in a lasting relationship?

Kaylan, do you take these guys seriously when they talk about women this way?

May 30, 2012

Obviously hes making his statement about the older woman in comparison to girls our age.

And yes I take him seriously. Whats the big deal? He had a run in with an older girl. He was truthful about the experience, and it turned him off. He feels the girls our age that hes been with have been more up to his liking.

He didnt say anything snarky about the older gal...he just made an honest statement. No biggie in my opinion. Do you expect him not to give an honest response when the rest of the band asked him how his run in with an older woman was? I mean the rest of us had never done it and were curious...and I guess the differences in the bodies of the younger girls to the older woman really stood out to him since he responded the way he did.

I understand you gals are older and maybe little touchy about the subject, given how society is about aging(especially when it comes to women), but lets be real here. When Im in my 30s and 40s, I fully expect guys in their 20s to have better bodies than me, and I expect women to notice even if I stay in great shape. Because even by being in good shape, a dude whos in his 20s and is in good shape will still look better than me. I cant control aging.

Edited May 30, 2012 by kaylan

May 30, 2012

kaylan, not sure if you understand but in posting that comment from your friend, it was an "insert foot in mouth" move.

Notice how everyone's reassuring you that your concern about personal body imperfections are no big deal?

May 30, 2012

Am I supposed to lie? I was responding to a post. It wasnt something I personally stated or felt. And if it was, youve seen enough of my posts to know Id say what I want without care. Am I not supposed to share because it might bruise some egos? Or it only ok to bruise the ego of younger women since we are always talking about how much better at sex older women are, and how guys will enjoy their time more with older women? I see that a lot on the forum.

Either way, the post wasnt meant to do anything but respond to a poster and I was simply running with the general convo. I dont see how I put my foot in my mouth when I never made a personal statement about an older woman, seeing as Ive never been with one. And btw, I never needed reassurance about my body. Do people keep missing where I repeatedly said this "flaw" doesnt bother me? It never has, and I enjoy not being perfect. It makes me unique and quirky. Do people easily forget how secure I am in my physical appearance in my usual posts on this forum?

I swear people arent reading my OP or posts at all.

Edited May 30, 2012 by kaylan

May 30, 2012

Kaylan, women very rarely, if ever, make brutal comments about guys like that. The only exception is that when a guy who they think is way below their league hits on them, then we can get brutal.

I have big boobs for my figure and of course they have stretch marks. I used to hid them all the time and be ashamed of the marks. Now I don't care, I show them off when I go to the beach, certain clothings. So far I haven't gotten any reaction other than omg boobs (drooling face). I'm sure they might have turned some guys off too (if so, they didn't tell me, thankfully!). I think no matter what your "flaw" is, it's important to embrace it and act confident as if you think you look awesome anyway. Stretch marks arent treatable either, so there is really nothing you can do about them, better just happily live with them lol

Sometimes I don't practice what I preach and get upset for all my stretch marks, this thread reminded me of my old insecurities.

May 30, 2012

Kaylan, women very rarely, if ever, make brutal comments about guys like that. The only exception is that when a guy who they think is way below their league hits on them, then we can get brutal.

I have big boobs for my figure and of course they have stretch marks. I used to hid them all the time and be ashamed of the marks. Now I don't care, I show them off when I go to the beach, certain clothings. So far I haven't gotten any reaction other than omg boobs (drooling face). I'm sure they might have turned some guys off too (if so, they didn't tell me, thankfully!). I think no matter what your "flaw" is, it's important to embrace it and act confident as if you think you look awesome anyway. Stretch marks arent treatable either, so there is really nothing you can do about them, better just happily live with them lol

Sometimes I don't practice what I preach and get upset for all my stretch marks, this thread reminded me of my old insecurities.

Good for you! Sadly I have had people comment on mine so I became a little less confident after that remark, and honestly it sucks that we can't get rid of them but it shows that I lived life and grew up lol wouldn't want to be 14 forever *shudders*. To me stretch marks are nothing more than scars and I think that they shouldn't matter means you lived life.

As for older women, collegen breaks down with age so older women can have less of a tightness to skin but that all depends on genes, treatment of skin ect. We can't all stay young and toned forever, as I get older I hope that I get laugh lines since it shows that I was happy and had a good life.

May 30, 2012

whys it all about leagues?

I don't think I said anything about leagues...if I did correct me :-) but honestly I don't really think about leagues, if I am compatible then it doesn't matter.

May 30, 2012

Good for you! Sadly I have had people comment on mine so I became a little less confident after that remark, and honestly it sucks that we can't get rid of them but it shows that I lived life and grew up lol wouldn't want to be 14 forever *shudders*. To me stretch marks are nothing more than scars and I think that they shouldn't matter means you lived life.

what kind of comments did you get and from who?

May 30, 2012

what kind of comments did you get and from who?

People said I looked like I'd been clawed by an animal that I looked lke I'd been in an accident that I had breast implants ect. Or people stare and ask what happened with sympathy on their face. From a ton of people girls, guys, older and younger

May 30, 2012

People said I looked like I'd been clawed by an animal that I looked lke I'd been in an accident that I had breast implants ect. Or people stare and ask what happened with sympathy on their face. From a ton of people girls, guys, older and younger

Oh, I'm sorry, that's brutal. Do you have darker skin tone? I find that it shows more on darker skinned girls.

May 30, 2012

^wow im surprised people would openly ask questions like that. Are you stretch marks from a lot of weight gain? Either way, who the hell openly asks someone about physical stuff on their body. Its like asking someone "dude why do u have so much acne"

May 30, 2012

Oh, I'm sorry, that's brutal. Do you have darker skin tone? I find that it shows more on darker skinned girls.

Hmmm really? Ive found that they blend away well on darker women. Lighter women have them more visible from what ive seen since the marks ive seen tend to contrast their light skin. Then again maybe it just all depends on the person on how their marks will pigment

May 30, 2012

^wow im surprised people would openly ask questions like that. Are you stretch marks from a lot of weight gain? Either way, who the hell openly asks someone about physical stuff on their body. Its like asking someone "dude why do u have so much acne"

Nope I weigh a steady 130lbs that rarely changes unless it goes down by like 5lbs. I just grew from an A cup to a large C at 14 in like two months.

May 30, 2012

Oh, I'm sorry, that's brutal. Do you have darker skin tone? I find that it shows more on darker skinned girls.

Currently I am pale, lol, I am paranoid about skin damage and try to avoid lots of sun. In the summer though even with SPF 50 I tan like none other, its the 50% Italian, I get very dark and never have burned. In the summer it is more apparent since the marks are the typical scar color, silvery white, and I get super olive toned.

May 30, 2012

who do blacks think they have an open invatition to steal my dates?

Call the date police.

May 30, 2012

Nope I weigh a steady 130lbs that rarely changes unless it goes down by like 5lbs. I just grew from an A cup to a large C at 14 in like two months.

I hate when people think that stretch marks can just be a result of getting fat. Mine happened when I hit buberty and I was nowhere near fat or overweight! I just grew fast... At the time I was too young to care/be smart to use lotion and they've been faded for more than a decade now.

May 30, 2012

I hate when people think that stretch marks can just be a result of getting fat. Mine happened when I hit buberty and I was nowhere near fat or overweight! I just grew fast... At the time I was too young to care/be smart to use lotion and they've been faded for more than a decade now.

As soon as I got them I lliterally broke down crying, and tried everything. Vitamin E oil, creams, mederma, and they faded a little but not much.

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Women, question about a particular physical "flaw" on a guy.

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