Women, question about a particular physical "flaw" on a guy.

May 29, 2012

I wouldn't care one bit.

May 29, 2012

Hell, Im in good enough shape that something someone cant even see wont bother me at all =P.

What was the point of this post then?

Call me shallow if you wish...but shallow is just a word used by average folks who hate on people who like looking good.

Ah, there's the point. Maybe just get that lovely avatar back with your hot bod and chest jewellery on display, that should give your ego the required massage without subjecting us to another 4 pages.

May 29, 2012

What was the point of this post then?

Learn to read. Here ya go:

Tbh I just wanted to share and see what girls thought since this is a question I usually see women ask online.

I guess Im just trying to compare womens thoughts to mens thoughts about certain physical things. Especially since I know girls deal with the plight of stretch marks much more often and seem to get them much worse than dudes.

Ah, there's the point. Maybe just get that lovely avatar back with your hot bod and chest jewellery on display, that should give your ego the required massage without subjecting us to another 4 pages.

Ego? Lmao....Im not allowed to truthfully respond to haters without someone talking about me having an ego? I specifically said in my OP that I didnt care about this "flaw" and that I had confidence in myself. The only reason I went further in the post you quoted is because some misguided poster, who didnt read my post entirely, tried to call me shallow. And yes, it definitely is a word used by haters who cant stand that anyone try to look their best or like how they look. Ive said in many threads that Im an average looking bloke...but I do maintain my body and try to dress well. And Ive never had photos of myself in my avatar with my body showing.

I swear this forum is truly pathetic sometimes and seems to be filled with nothing but haters and negative nathans. Or maybe thats just how people in general respond to those who arent bothered by many things in life. I post here to start a discussion on something that doesnt even both me and I get:

a) Someone calling me shallow or someone telling me Im "worse than a girl". Which is funny because I specifically said this isnt something I worry about so how am I shallow? And whats funnier is the "worse than a girl" comment is exactly part of the reason why many dudes dont take care of themselves and then youll have women complaining about it.

b) Haters getting mad that, god forbid, someone on this website actually be ok with their body and take pride in it despite their flaws. I swear...everyone loves to go into the negative threads about physical looks and argue with one another. And the threads where the OP feels unattractive and down on themselves, people jump at the chance to tell them what they can do to look better. But when I create a thread that isnt even me bragging, and yet I respond to a negative poster with a positive comment about myself, I get another hater.

I swear some of you really need to get a grip. The way you react to someones positivity about their own self only reflects how unhappy you are with you.

Edited May 29, 2012 by kaylan

May 29, 2012

And I was curious how womens opinions compared to men on this since guys sometimes talk about this and straight up clown on some girls who have them in bad spots. From convos Ive had we tend to be forgiving of a few marks on a girls butt, or thighs...as long as its not a lot or doesnt have super color contrast. When it comes to those on the breasts or stomach dudes are straight up brutal with the comments at times.

Wow.

If they are talking about the women's bodies in this way, is it safe to say they don't care about the women? I hope?

I hope they wouldn't talk that way about a woman they care about. I know I have NEVER heard a woman cut down a man's body like that for something so surface.

May 29, 2012

^Men and women cut down each other all the time when it comes to physical things.

Ive heard young women clown a dude for having a beer belly, moobs, or be balding. And the guy would feel like crap if he heard the stuff. Ive also heard guys cut down chicks with muffin tops or chicks who show too much skin despite a lot of stretch marks. And these are just average folks making comments to. Hell, my mom is overweight and has the audacity to make comments about other big folks sometimes.

People will make comments if you dress in an unflattering way. Being a douche isnt limited to men. But its good you run in better circles of women than others. And I dont think people will clown those they care about, but Im sure they are mindful of their flaws.

Edited May 29, 2012 by kaylan

May 29, 2012

Sounds like some pretty F-ed up circles to me. Like xxoo, I've never seen someone talk about a person's body in that manner. I would personally never associate or spend time with someone who trashed a person's body, especially over small imperfections, to their friends in those ways, kaylan. It's disrespectful and gross.

I don't give two figs about stretch marks. Even imperfections that might turn me off (stretch marks wouldn't), I'd certainly never trash someone for.

What would turn me off is someone who spent a lot of time thinking about his body. That kind of physical materialism is unappealing to me.

May 29, 2012

Sounds like some pretty F-ed up circles to me. Like xxoo, I've never seen someone talk about a person's body in that manner. I would personally never associate or spend time with someone who trashed a person's body, especially over small imperfections, to their friends in those ways, kaylan. It's disrespectful and gross.

A lot of guys do it just not in front of you

May 29, 2012

^Men and women cut down each other all the time when it comes to physical things.

Ive heard young women clown a dude for having a beer belly, moobs, or be balding. And the guy would feel like crap if he heard the stuff. Ive also heard guys cut down chicks with muffin tops or chicks who show too much skin despite a lot of stretch marks. And these are just average folks making comments to. Hell, my mom is overweight and has the audacity to make comments about other big folks sometimes.

People will make comments if you dress in an unflattering way. Being a douche isnt limited to men. But its good you run in better circles of women than others. And I dont think people will clown those they care about, but Im sure they are mindful of their flaws.

I agree. Even just having drinks after work with my peers I hear them comment on men or women in the bar. It's very common, both sexes do this.

May 29, 2012

This is why I was glad to leave my teens and 20's behind...

May 29, 2012

A lot of guys do it just not in front of you

I'm sure a lot of women do it too. I don't associate with those types of people and neither do most of my friends, so I feel pretty secure my male friends and Hubby don't all get together and do that stuff. I'm not saying many people don't --- I'm saying I think those people are WAY grosser than stretch marks and uses the 'everybody does it' mentality to justify their grossness. Nope, as xxoo says, everyone does not.

May 29, 2012

^The thing is, youve done it yourself before...we all have. People comment on things they find unappealing. You may not say something as harsh as others, but Im sure youve made your share of comments in before.

May 29, 2012

I don't associate with those types of people and neither do most of my friends, so I feel pretty secure my male friends and Hubby don't all get together and do that stuff.

I think you are being naive about people in general. I'm sure you can tell whether you husband is someone who would make comments like this but there is no way you would know every single one of your friends to this extent, especially the male ones. Men learn early on to behave differently in front of girls.

May 29, 2012

I think you are being naive about people in general. I'm sure you can tell whether you husband is someone who would make comments like this but there is no way you would know every single one of your friends to this extent, especially the male ones. Men learn early on to behave differently in front of girls.

Lol true. And I prefer hanging around those women who can deal with reality and arent two faced with their opinions. In my experience, some women may take issue with something rude a guy says, but will be just fine with another woman saying something similar. The fact that it came from a guy is what seems to change their response.

Ive hung around women enough, and had a few get comfortable enough around me where they dropped the facade...and they can be just as mean as guys can. And they can be just as open talking about sex. Hell, my old housemates made poop and fart jokes all the time. One of them always openly tells me when she feels like taking a dump.

I enjoy that interaction more than dishonest facades

May 29, 2012

^The thing is, youve done it yourself before...we all have. People comment on things they find unappealing. You may not say something as harsh as others, but Im sure youve made your share of comments in before.

No, I don't comment in that way about people. I am guilty of sometimes making fun of stupid people or shallow people (as is my group), but that's their actions, not their physical form, and I do that a lot less now because I simply stay away from people like that. I don't judge people by looks. I may not be attracted to someone for a looks-related thing, but I'd never make fun of someone simply because I was not attracted to them.

I think you are being naive about people in general. I'm sure you can tell whether you husband is someone who would make comments like this but there is no way you would know every single one of your friends to this extent, especially the male ones. Men learn early on to behave differently in front of girls.

There's no way you know my friends better than I do. I've seen such people -- shallow, mean types -- come into our group from time to time. They always get cast out. Some of us are happy not to be in HS anymore.

May 29, 2012

My point is that most people poke fun at the expense of those they dont know.

Thanks for proving me correct.

May 29, 2012

There's no way you know my friends better than I do. I've seen such people -- shallow, mean types -- come into our group from time to time. They always get cast out. Some of us are happy not to be in HS anymore.

True but I know that you are naive. 'Casting out' is HS by the way

May 29, 2012

A lot of guys do it just not in front of you

Of course lots of people do it, but some people also don't (the world is big enough to accommodate all sorts!), and the person who supposedly loves you especially should not be doing it about you. Do you really trash-talk your partner's physical imperfections with your girlfriends?

May 29, 2012

^Men and women cut down each other all the time when it comes to physical things.

Ive heard young women clown a dude for having a beer belly, moobs, or be balding. And the guy would feel like crap if he heard the stuff. Ive also heard guys cut down chicks with muffin tops or chicks who show too much skin despite a lot of stretch marks. And these are just average folks making comments to. Hell, my mom is overweight and has the audacity to make comments about other big folks sometimes.

People will make comments if you dress in an unflattering way. Being a douche isnt limited to men. But its good you run in better circles of women than others. And I dont think people will clown those they care about, but Im sure they are mindful of their flaws.

YOu know...I've been a female for many years Kaylan. None of my friends, aunts, Mom...yada yada have ever made fun of a man with a beer belly, moobs or because he was balding. Although the women who have been married for many years might tease their husbands for things they do just as I heard the husbands (My dad, uncles..yada yada) do in return. But it was playful. Not meant to be mean. If you are hanging out with girls and boys that do this, then you got some jacked up over critical, petty, friends.

We all got flaws. And I think people that look to pick on other people's flaws, no matter what they may be, actually feel more crappy about themselves because they have to put someone else down in order to feel superior in some way. Next time your Mom says something about someone else, just ask her, "Mom, do you think that's a nice thing to say?" My older brother can be very critical of other people. One time he showed me this picture he took of this 80 year old guy wearing plaid bell bottoms. I thought the old guy looked cute. My brother was making fun of him. So I asked my brother, "Do you think that guy would appreicate being a joke captured on your Iphone to share with friends?" It made him stop and shut up about it. Another time he was making fun of this guy walking buy that had patches of hair missing ackwardly from his head. I just turned to my brother and asked him do you think he decided one day that he just wanted patches of hair missing? Again, made my brother shut up.

Next time you hear one of your male friends pick on a girl about her body or you hear a female friend pick on a guy about his, talk to them about what they are saying. You seem intelligent enough to understand that this isn't cool. Be the catalyst to get them talking and thinking about people differently then just in the narrow terms they are dictating when they mock someone else. I think God gave the brother I have so I could teach him some things and he could teach me some things growing up. We are two very different people and I hope I've taught him to be kinder and gentler to people while he's taught more about being more practical.

We live in such a petty world. And with technology, it's only heightened. People need to stop and think about why they say and think the things they think and be more mindful of their impact on others.

May 29, 2012

Sounds like some pretty F-ed up circles to me. Like xxoo, I've never seen someone talk about a person's body in that manner. I would personally never associate or spend time with someone who trashed a person's body, especially over small imperfections, to their friends in those ways, kaylan. It's disrespectful and gross.

I don't give two figs about stretch marks. Even imperfections that might turn me off (stretch marks wouldn't), I'd certainly never trash someone for.

What would turn me off is someone who spent a lot of time thinking about his body. That kind of physical materialism is unappealing to me.

I can say I've been on the receiving end of nasty comments for my stretch marks and it is really sad how cruel people can be. One person said it looked like my boobs had been stretched and had scars left. The sad part is though they can fade nothing permanently gets rid of them and it's not like I could control it. I really don't comment about others because I've been on the receiving end and it sucks! Hearing how guys still cut girls down for having stretch marks makes me want to cover up everything so no one can see.

May 29, 2012

What is the context for making comments like these about a person's body? Someone you slept with? Or someone just unfortunate enough to be sharing the beach with you? (general you)

Maybe the context is--someone you wanted to sleep with, but turned you down?

I don't get why any group of happy people would sit around and talk about other people's physical imperfections. That's just.....odd.

Anyway, hopefully the context is different from being into someone, very attracted, and turned off by a few lines on their skin.

And, since some posters are voicing some concern over having stretch marks--I have them across my belly from pregnancy. I wear my string bikini, stretch marks and all. They are silvery, but visible. My H thinks they're MILFy hot, I accept them as part of me, and I really don't give a hoot what anyone else who sees me thinks or says!

May 29, 2012

I can say I've been on the receiving end of nasty comments for my stretch marks and it is really sad how cruel people can be. One person said it looked like my boobs had been stretched and had scars left. The sad part is though they can fade nothing permanently gets rid of them and it's not like I could control it. I really don't comment about others because I've been on the receiving end and it sucks! Hearing how guys still cut girls down for having stretch marks makes me want to cover up everything so no one can see.

I understand Xoxo. I've had a lot of men say negative comments about my body too. Especially when I was younger. I've even had one ex boyfriend talk about breast implants and it sure seemed like he was fishing around to see how I felt about it. And guys turn around and wonder why women don't have more confidence in their bodies or why they aren't feeling as sexy as often as a guy is to have sex. Women's bodies get teared down at every turn. This kind of stuff goes beyond men simply being visual and liking "good looking women". It's social conditioning some of the silly stuff men will put women down for.

May 29, 2012

I developed stretch marks early on when my hips popped out and I developed breasts at puberty. (I am very fair.) Never had a man complain. Of course, I developed more when I became pregnant (hips, belly), and I suppose only my husband can complain... (and maybe he does, just not to me).

To me, it's just such a small thing to worry about and I can't imagine rejecting a guy for it, unless it was because he just had a beer gut. But, even then, if he wised up and lost the beer gut but still had the stretch marks, I would never see that as a "flaw."

I will never understand this demand for perfection in human bodies. I quite like the "flaws."

May 29, 2012

I understand Xoxo. I've had a lot of men say negative comments about my body too. Especially when I was younger. I've even had one ex boyfriend talk about breast implants and it sure seemed like he was fishing around to see how I felt about it. And guys turn around and wonder why women don't have more confidence in their bodies or why they aren't feeling as sexy as often as a guy is to have sex. Women's bodies get teared down at every turn. This kind of stuff goes beyond men simply being visual and liking "good looking women". It's social conditioning some of the silly stuff men will put women down for.

Yeah it doesn't help that most celebrities have the "perfect" body, but they have to spend hours a day on it and quite frankly I don't have four hours to work out I have half an hour to an hour and a half. I will never have a skinny figure, I am built more like Sofia Vergara or Maryln Monroe, and I know my stomach will never be perfectly flat or my thighs small since I horseback ride. I don't expect anyone to be perfect, so stop pointing out my flaws!

May 29, 2012

Yeah it doesn't help that most celebrities have the "perfect" body, but they have to spend hours a day on it and quite frankly I don't have four hours to work out I have half an hour to an hour and a half. I will never have a skinny figure, I am built more like Sofia Vergara or Maryln Monroe, and I know my stomach will never be perfectly flat or my thighs small since I horseback ride. I don't expect anyone to be perfect, so stop pointing out my flaws!

I recently heard a comment made by a doctor that is popular in hollywood that said that a lot of women in Hollywood aren't very healthy at all despite sporting super thin glamorized bodies. That it was actually rare to find someone that balanced those elements between health and body weight well. I wish I could find that article.i will see if I can.

May 29, 2012

True but I know that you are naive. 'Casting out' is HS by the way

Casting out is what you do when no one wants to be around that person. As a mature adult, you do it differently and for different reasons than HS, but adults are welcome to stop spending time with or inviting people places if they have different priorities and modes. Unlike in HS, we'd never do it for "status" --- we'd simply do it because someone was toxic and rude to others.

I'm not a naive person. I'm just a person who very carefully surrounds myself with people who share my values.

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Women, question about a particular physical "flaw" on a guy.

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