Rachels_p Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 (edited) So its a complicated story if that... nearly a year ago I took the step to text a girl and ask her for a date, I knew she liked me but at the time she told me that I was quite shocked and never thought that a same sex relationship was for me but later into life I could see what perhaps she could all that time ago! So we started dating and was abit complicated because I wasn't out, I was terrified she understood this, although now I'm not sure she did... I eventually I came out to my mum and dad and two close friends! We had quite a fiery relationship not fiery maybe but we used to bicker a lot, not sure why was always over stupid things and to be honest I instigated a lot and I don't know why?! She told me she was on love with me felt for me what she hadn't with anyone else etc that I was the one, that was a few days before she had enough and dumped me ! I know I drove her away and all I want is to have her back and prove it can work... I know we had something special and intense and I ruined it! This was a month ago and all I have done is the begging and pleading etc and spilling my guts to her... she says she will always love me in a way but not like she did! I just can't take in how someones feelings could change so fast? Today I've decided that I will try not contacting her for a wee while and its just breaking my heart, I don't know if I will ever get her back? It's so hard... is there a way back? I'd never felt what I felt for her it was the most incredible thing I've ever felt! I just miss her so much, its been the most trying month of my life and I've had some bumps! I don't want to move on because I know she's the one.. I'm so angry at myself for the way I acted and I don't why I did it besides that I don't feel I was bad, I told her everyday what she meant to me, she said she felt so safe with me and she would never doubt me! This is tearing me up its horrible! Anyone with any advice? Edited May 28, 2012 by Rachels_p
Author Rachels_p Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 So far the past month I've did nothing but text and try to call... she does reply only to say things like you deserve more than I can give you, you will want someone else in time, you won't feel this way forever, then sometimes its shes had a hard day etc and can't deal with the emotional texts and then she says why don't you text other people or date, rebound sex etc and I tell her that she knows thats not what I'm like and its not what i want, I just want her! So I was drunk other night and said is this really what you really want... Yes she said! I said ok because I've felt guilty my pal gave someone she knew my number and I texted her back and I feel terrible about it but I feel **** and it made me feel good for a minute... she went mad and said not to text her again! After I sent her another long winded text we have kinda been texting back and forth she gives nothing away and I'm still to believe she's not wanting me anymore but I can't walk away or move on until i know that her feelings suddenly disappeared the 3 days after she told me never to leave her and that I was the one! My heads a mess
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 It is hard to know what is going on in the mind of your ex. But it is something that is beyond your control now. Her words may have said one thing, her actions definitely say another thing. You will not win her back by keeping in touch with her. If anything it will only increase the distance between you and her. You don't want that. Try doing things on your own to occupy yourself with. Be in touch with friends, focus on your work or even try new things to do. The less you think about your ex, the easier it is to wrest back control of your life.
Author Rachels_p Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 I know I've tried this no contact thing but it hasn't lasted more than two or three days, I'm going to try at least get to a week or two! My head is utterly done in, I end up panicking during no contact that she will think I'm not interested and she will move on and do these things she's telling me to do! I'm so cut up and the messages I send were heartwreching and honest! How can you lie in someone's arms tell them your so in love with them, they are the one and your never to leave them.. only for them to dump you three days later because they've had enough ( I know the bickering was pathetic ) but there are worse things and if you truly loved someone surely you would try everything! I was quite taken aback and immature in certain aspects and I admitted all this... I was just so overwhelmed with it all but i would do anything to chance this as I know see it was an issue grrrrrrrrrrrr! Really struggling with it all :(
d'Arthez Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 It often happens shortly before a breakup that people think that they are really in love. Because they really felt that way. However, if a big fight ensues, they may be suddenly realize that the relationship puts them under a lot of stress, and that they can't see it work. I don't think your ex was lying to you when she said she said she was in love with you. Try to stick to No Contact, as difficult as it is.
Author Rachels_p Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 That sounds very true :( .. there's just not going to be a way back! I will try my best although if I fail at any point there's a good chance I cant make anymore of a fool of myself ha. Thanks for your reply x
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