3 Affairs

[turnedupsidedown]

The first night of our 6th anniversary trip to South Africa, my wife admitted to having three affairs. Two of which happened over the last 6 months (one she is still involved with) and one during our first year of marriage. She blames me for being unhappy with my job... but I don't think this is a good excuse. I'm not claiming to be the best husband but she never gave our marriage a chance with the first affair occurring so soon after our wedding. I let her know that I wanted a divorce and then a few days later I was served with divorce papers. She has been wanting to leave for a long time. I feel that she strung me along for some unknown reason and then just dropped the bomb on me. On top of all this, I was laid off from work due to budget cuts the day before she served me the divorce papers.

 

All of my memories of her are tainted with the fact she had an affair so early on in our marriage. The pain is so real and I can't let her go from my mind. I just want all memories of her to disappear.

 

Now I'm just trying to rebuild my life.

[Radu]

You are better off, but you were just shot [your spirit was].

 

This woman is incredibly cruel and selfish, and depending on where you live she may have initiated the divorce proceedings to control the outcome or how it is seen.

She wouldn't have wanted all of those affairs to be public knowledge.

 

So do the right [smart] thing and get lawyer help.

Ask for help from your relatives and get a good lawyer [in case you have assets].

Don't be sad about seeing her go, she's some piece of work.

[Crusoe]

Been there fella. Had been with my ex for 7 years when I found out about all her affairs. Like yourself, the first one was very early on. Yup, all the good memories go once you realise you've been living a lie for so long. Three pieces of advice I can give. First, just get her out your life as quickly and cleanly as possible. Second, protect yourself, a woman like that has no morals and is likely to do or say anything to ruin you. Thirdly, don't waste too much time looking back.

[YellowShark]

Once a cheater... Not always a cheater. Twice a cheater.. ALWAYS a cheater. Three times a cheater... Sorry dude, she's a cruel, narcissistic, backstabbing whore. Dump her. She has no regard for you whatsoever.

 

And the cheating because of your job excuse? Holy crap what a load. Your job didn't make her cheat. That's absolutely ridiculous and such a f-ing cop out from her ownership in her wicked cheating ways. Your job clothed her, put food on the table for her and a roof over her head.

Edited May 28, 2012 by YellowShark

[bosunmate]

The first night of our 6th anniversary trip to South Africa, my wife admitted to having three affairs. Two of which happened over the last 6 months (one she is still involved with) and one during our first year of marriage. She blames me for being unhappy with my job... but I don't think this is a good excuse. I'm not claiming to be the best husband but she never gave our marriage a chance with the first affair occurring so soon after our wedding. I let her know that I wanted a divorce and then a few days later I was served with divorce papers. She has been wanting to leave for a long time. I feel that she strung me along for some unknown reason and then just dropped the bomb on me. On top of all this, I was laid off from work due to budget cuts the day before she served me the divorce papers.

 

All of my memories of her are tainted with the fact she had an affair so early on in our marriage. The pain is so real and I can't let her go from my mind. I just want all memories of her to disappear.

 

Now I'm just trying to rebuild my life.

 

 

So sorry that this has happened to you. You will get alot of advice on here good and bad so you have to weigh it all and then choose what helps you. Just about everybody on here has been betrayed so there is alot of people who have been there or are there right now, good luck

[USCGAviator]

Knowing all this now can you recall any odd behavior or clues that you missed?

[William]

Thread starter, as you just shared your story and didn't ask for any advice, and are a new member, if you wish further input from members or seek further advice, please click the 'alert us' button on this post and ask a moderator to re-open the thread for further discussion. Thanks.