LoverOfDance Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 So I met this guy. He's really cute and I like him as a friend. He seems to like me but probably as more than a friend because he remembers the littlest things I say. There's nothing more heart-warming than a guy who remembers. He's invited me to hang out twice but I couldn't the second time because I had to do an assignment. I feel really bad cause I have a good feeling he likes me but I've never been attracted to guys who are shorter than me. My first crush was shorter than me. My second crush was shorter than me as well but after both boys I've completely lost my attraction for shorter guys. What do I do. I really want to give him a chance but I don't want to lead him on if I know I may never end up developing an attraction for him.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Don't lead him on. Just be straight forward. Tell him you like him as a friend. He'll be hurt, but if he really likes you and not just the way he feels when he's around you in crush mode, he'll still want to be friends later. Sometimes people fall in love with the feeling of love rather than the person. The way to test that is to ask yourself whether you could still be friends with that person if they were seeing someone else (note: I'm speaking of a recent infatuation, not an established relationship).
gibson Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 (edited) You are automatically a terrible person. I am wouldn't date a woman that is taller than me. You can also add fat, ugly, tomboys, no taste, no sense of style, in debt up to their eyeballs, no morals, no values, no sense of adventure, no sense of humor, man haters, prudes, etc. to the list as well. Now what is sure to happen next... The people who can't buy a date are going to criticize the OP and me (who are successful at dating) because we have PREFERENCES and we are ATTRACTED to who / what we are attracted too. For us, settling isn't option. Let the flaming begin! Edited May 28, 2012 by gibson 2
TheFinalWord Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I am wouldn't date a woman that is taller than me. You can also add fat, ugly, tomboys, no taste, no sense of style, in debt up to their eyeballs, no morals, no values, no sense of adventure, no sense of humor, man haters, prudes, etc. to the list as well. Now what is sure to happen next... The people who can't buy a date are going to criticize the OP and me (who are successful at dating) because we have PREFERENCES and are ATTRACTED to who / what we are attracted too. Let the flaming begin! ditto! If a girl is over 5'5", 110lbs I won't consider her!
USMCHokie Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 ditto! If a girl is over 5'5", 110lbs I won't consider her! Oh, well that's perfectly acceptable!
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I am wouldn't date a woman that is taller than me. You can also add fat, ugly, tomboys, no taste, no sense of style, in debt up to their eyeballs, no morals, no values, no sense of adventure, no sense of humor, man haters, prudes, etc. to the list as well. Now what is sure to happen next... The people who can't buy a date are going to criticize the OP and me (who are successful at dating) because we have PREFERENCES and we are ATTRACTED to who / what we are attracted too. For us, settling isn't option. Let the flaming begin! I wanted to flame you because you do come across as a jerk off, but I agree with your point. There are certain things I am attracted to and the world not being fair has nothing and everything to do with it. For one, I like a woman with a gentle yet independent disposition. Ie, someone well mannered and considerate, but not subservient and incapable of making her own decisions. I hate selfishness and vanity in general. I don't think there is anything wrong with identifying reasonable qualities that attract you in a mate. We learn from experience what we like and what works for us. It's about finding someone to be compatible with... it has nothing to do with what's compatible with the other 99.9% of the world. Interestingly, my first post on here was regarding the woman I'm seeing who is just a touch (1") taller than me. I wouldn't have considered dating someone taller than me prior... But I did not even notice the first time I met her. The fact that I'm not intimidated by it probably makes it less important to her. I also weigh 40 lbs more than her and stay in great shape so I'm sure that helps as well. 1
somedude81 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 So how tall are you? If you're around 5'8 and don't want to date guys shorter than you, fine.
Forever Learning Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I am 5'8" and just recently started seeing a guy who is 5'8", or maybe 5'7", hard to tell. He seems to be pretty close to my height. I always thought I would look for someone taller, since I was married for 16 years to a guy that is 5'8" (he started out 5'9" and shrank as he went into his 40's). Suddenly my height requirements went out the window, because I just like this guy for who he is. It happens that way sometimes. I tend to think of Sunny and Cher, she was taller than him, and they looked pretty cute together. She was thin, that helps a bit to balance things out I suppose.
Forever Learning Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You are automatically a terrible person. OP (Lover Of Dance) - USMCHokie is just teasing! Stop that CHokie! Some people are sensitive and don't know that you are pulling their leg. Or maybe it's just meatheads like me who can't tell sometimes. But I'm sure you're just goofing on her. You're too nice to be serious in what you said there.
Author LoverOfDance Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 It's really not something that's under my control. It's not a standard or a requirement for me. I just tend to be attracted to guys who are taller and older. I have friends who say they will never go out with guys unless they are extremely taller than them. Now for those girls, it is definitely a requirement to be taller. I don't feel that way but I don't think I'm attracted to shorter guys cause most of the guys I've crushed on have been taller. If I had any sought of control whatsoever over my feelings, I would make myself attracted to him cause he's a nice guy but I don't. I'm wondering if I should just give him a chance and see what happens. Like they say; "You never know".
somedude81 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm sure you probably don't care but this happens to short men all the time. For some reason women just want tall guys. And as a short guy, it absolutely sucks being turned down for something we've had absolutely no control over. No matter how much we want to, or how much effort we'd be willing to put in, a short guy cannot become taller. If an obese women felt that her dating prospects were few, she could lose the weight if she put in the effort, or get lipo if she didn't want to. If you don't tower over him, why not just give him a chance? Or do you think you are the kind of person who has very rigid ideas of what they consider attractive and that never changes?
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