RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) Agree with phineas on this one. This is very unattractive treat some women have. Sure men gossip as well and they can be judgemental but that's usually the case when it's more personal to them. Spreading rumours about people you THINK you know but you don't really is childish c**p and you shouldn't be doing that. The bolded part is misandrist and isn't actually true. If you knew men at all you would understand the difference between their public and private personas. It isn't a 'rumor' if I've witnessed their behavior first hand. There is nothing misandrist about my post. I've worked around mostly men my entire life. I know very well what they are capable of (for good or bad). It is a fact that (for the most part) they aren't accustomed to being held responsible for their sexual choices. This thread is a perfect example and illustrates it perfectly. Giving them a free pass for bad choices does zero to help them make better choices in the future. If you actually cared about men, you'd understand that. Shall we get back to the topic now? Edited May 29, 2012 by RedRobin
thatone Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) Sounds like you exercised poor judgement with the woman you slept with. Lesson learned. eh? The fact they aren't prepared to be judged by it.. that IS what I'm taking away from this thread. Alot of men are used to the idea that they can apply their double standards rather willy-nilly... so in the first example it's the fault of the guy who a pack of women rumored out of a job. and in every other example its men's fault in general. gotcha. Shall we get back to the topic now? when you make a fool of yourself you become the topic. that's how internet conversations tend to work. Edited May 29, 2012 by thatone
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 so in the first example it's the fault of the guy who a pack of women rumored out of a job. Yep. That d*ck was attached to his body. If he didn't like the outcome he could a) not drink to excess b) take a taxi instead of taking a ride home from a woman he is attracted to whom may be unpredictable (oopsie!). c) choose not to have casual sex with people he works with. and in every other example its men's fault in general. Sorry if you can't accept responsibility for where you send your parts. With greater freedom (ie access to more sex from liberated women) comes greater responsibility. You have sex, you accept the outcome. Not that tough a concept. when you make a fool of yourself you become the topic. that's how internet conversations tend to work. No, you are the ones making fools of yourselves. It isn't that hard to weave your opinions into the topic. So, back to the topic. The reason why I reserve sex for an exclusive relationship and don't date multidaters is because I avoid the kind of drama that so many posters here complain about everyday. It is quite practical and not a moral statement at all. When you have sex in a way that is not deliberate, then one must take personal responsibility for the outcome. Man or woman. 1
Emilia Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Yep. That d*ck was attached to his body. If he didn't like the outcome he could a) not drink to excess b) take a taxi instead of taking a ride home from a woman he is attracted to whom may be unpredictable (oopsie!). c) choose not to have casual sex with people he works with. Why? Because you say so? How very boring of you
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Why? Because you say so? How very boring of you No, not because I said so. Because not being careful where one puts their parts has consequences. Duh. You want to be an idiot? Be my guest. Don't whine when that shyte comes and hits ya in the face.
Emilia Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 There is nothing misandrist about my post. I've worked around mostly men my entire life. I know very well what they are capable of (for good or bad). It is a fact that (for the most part) they aren't accustomed to being held responsible for their sexual choices. This thread is a perfect example and illustrates it perfectly. Giving them a free pass for bad choices does zero to help them make better choices in the future. If you actually cared about men, you'd understand that. Anyone that dismisses a group of people based on their sex is sexist. You come across very self righteous in your posts, I don't really understand what makes you think you have the right to judge how people should be leading their lives. What I understand the least is why any of this is your business?
thatone Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 the mail room girl that her ex husband is bending over his desk right now must be particularly hot to arouse all this hate.
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Anyone that dismisses a group of people based on their sex is sexist. You come across very self righteous in your posts, I don't really understand what makes you think you have the right to judge how people should be leading their lives. What I understand the least is why any of this is your business? Not sure what you are talking about. They posted their story on the internet. The OP asked what exclusive means to me. You want to take that as self-righteous, be my guest. My problem with the word 'exclusive' and, it seems, many people on this thread, is that they only care about having their own needs met and don't really care about anyone but themselves. AND, they celebrate that and applaud that. wow... now THERE is a lofty goal to aspire towards. I don't think I'd care much about them (I can usually avoid them easy enough). However, when they expect other people to manage the consequences for them... I do have a problem with that.
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 the mail room girl that her ex husband is bending over his desk right now must be particularly hot to arouse all this hate. Not sure what you are talking about. You must be confusing me with another poster. I'm not sure why someone expecting you to take responsibility for your behavior would arouse all this hate. Except that you just like things the way they are... happily shoving things off for others to manage for you.
thatone Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 everyone cares about themselves. if my gf didn't make my life better i wouldn't be with her. i'm not doing her a favor at my expense, nor is she doing me any favors at her expense. you are arguing what you want, men are arguing what they want. your ideas have no more weight/merit than theirs simply because they are your ideas.
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 everyone cares about themselves. if my gf didn't make my life better i wouldn't be with her. i'm not doing her a favor at my expense, nor is she doing me any favors at her expense. you are arguing what you want, men are arguing what they want. your ideas have no more weight/merit than theirs simply because they are your ideas. ... and to the extent that you can manage that with honesty, accountability, and self-awareness would be a measure of your character.
thatone Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 ... and to the extent that you can manage that with honesty, accountability, and self-awareness would be a measure of your character. and i dumped a FWB the week before i met her, and the gf and i had sex the weekend we first met. and yes, she knows about the FWB prior to her. she's had a few in her past as well. now tell us how terrible we are.
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 and i dumped a FWB the week before i met her, and the gf and i had sex the weekend we first met. and yes, she knows about the FWB prior to her. she's had a few in her past as well. now tell us how terrible we are. That is great. Honesty and full disclosure is a good way to build emotional intimacy, if that is what you are interested in. 1
phineas Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Anyone that dismisses a group of people based on their sex is sexist. You come across very self righteous in your posts, I don't really understand what makes you think you have the right to judge how people should be leading their lives. What I understand the least is why any of this is your business? What she doesn't understand is as she is gossiping about the men who don't want to date her, the one's who might be interested are hearing her spreading rumors about these men (probably from the women she gossips to) & their dismissing her as relationship material. There is nothing attractive about a woman who goes around with a sexual score-card of random men. Hell, I don't even know who my close single friends were sleeping with unless we run into one while out & they tell me later.
RedRobin Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) There is nothing attractive about a woman who goes around with a sexual score-card of random men. To me, there is nothing attractive about a man who sleeps around either. If you are ok with your history and dating style, you should have nothing to feel ashamed about. At all. Sure, there are women who won't want to date you because of your past... but so what? I imagine that the only reason why any of this bothers you is because you have gotten quite used to judging women for their sexual history... and aren't accustomed to having that same judgement placed on you. Either accept your history and women's too who share similar, or change your behavior. It really isn't that difficult. Edited May 30, 2012 by RedRobin
phineas Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 To me, there is nothing attractive about a man who sleeps around either. If you are ok with your history and dating style, you should have nothing to feel ashamed about. At all. Sure, there are women who won't want to date you because of your past... but so what? I imagine that the only reason why any of this bothers you is because you have gotten quite used to judging women for their sexual history... and aren't accustomed to having that same judgement placed on you. Either accept your history and women's too who share similar, or change your behavior. It really isn't that difficult. Stop projecting, blame-shifting, distracting, & everything else you are doing here. This isn't about me. It's about you. You are a gossip. Period. Men who would be interested in you won't be because they don't want to become your next victim of "word on the street by redrobbin" There is no-way in hell you can talk about another man YOU never dated in a bad way without looking bitter and that isn't attractive. But hey, what you do is OBVIOUSLY working out for you so you really don't need anyone's advice. I hope you like cats because your on the road to being the cat lady who lives alone & just gossips about the town.
RedRobin Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 When you decide to start accepting responsibility for your life and choices, you will never worry about 'gossips'.... "men imagine they communicate their virtue or vice by overt actions. They don't realize their virtue or vice emits a breath every moment." Emerson. I'm sorry that this realization is hitting you so late in life. Better late than never though.
phineas Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 When you decide to start accepting responsibility for your life and choices, you will never worry about 'gossips'.... "men imagine they communicate their virtue or vice by overt actions. They don't realize their virtue or vice emits a breath every moment." Emerson. I'm sorry that this realization is hitting you so late in life. Better late than never though. Gossip equals lies unless proven. According to my ex-wife I was abusive & violent. Not to mention all the other crap she spread about me to her friends, our friends & family. My social was basically nullified because of the crap she said about me that other people spread around as fact. I NEVER laid a hand on her & I never did any of the other things she accused me of either. so don't tell me people who haven't done anything wrong don't have to worry about gossip. It's pure ignorance on your part to believe that.
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