Stoneman70 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Each day, thoughts of S run through my head...everything reminds me of her...I try to forget, but then I feel sad...I don't want to forget...I don't know of ill ever get over this. I keep reliving our time together, our love, everything...but trying to look forward..I tell myself to just get over it,but I can't... Why? This is so hard...
MissBee Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) From what I can recall, you ended things not too long ago. So yes, this is normal. In any relationship it takes quite some time to emotionally detach even if physically you have. It took me almost 2 years to get over my last relationship...but I eventually did move on and never think of him in that way again. It always seems endless in the beginning, but one day you wake up and realize this person is not your first thought or your last and you're living your life happily It takes a while...there is no getting around that. You can'rt just get over it magically...time does the trick and also focusing on yourself and your lessons in the situation help to move it along versus just reminiscing. Edited May 27, 2012 by MissBee
sad puppy Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You fell madly in love, your thoughts and feelings are very normal, and yes, it's very hard. A very difficult aspect of life. To love one that one cannot have. you are going through heartbreak but you shall survive, it will take time. Try to be gentle with yourself, your feelings are natural. You've joined the hundreds of millions that have gone before you, through heartbreak. A tale as old as the world. Maybe someday you will be together, one never knows. But until and if that time comes, you will need to nurse your broken heart and carry on. 1
RickFox Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Yeah, it's normal. She's dead to you now....grieve the loss....move forward.
Furious Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You love her, you believe she loves you..then get on a plane and go to her. If she is truly the love of your life...don't live in agony...give yourselves the chance to be together. Life is too short...don't live to regret that you gave up on her. 2
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You love her, you believe she loves you..then get on a plane and go to her. If she is truly the love of your life...don't live in agony...give yourselves the chance to be together. Life is too short...don't live to regret that you gave up on her. They are both married. Neither had plans to divorce their spouses. The only way to move forward is to accept that it is over and grieve the loss. You may always love her but just because you love her (and she loves you) doesn't mean you two should be together. As painful as this is right now, as time goes on and you get busy living life, reconnecting with your wife it'll get easier and the memories/fantasies will be less. But eventually you'll need to stop wishing and hoping, reliving those fantasies if you do want to feel better.
Happyface Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Yes it is normal. Eventually without contact and the fuel of the physical involvement, your mind will cease to rerun the A video. It will take a length of time and you will never forget. It will just cease to bug you as much. Happy Face. 1
William Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Just an advisory....off-topic posts will be deleted and the poster's names cataloged. I'm seeing a lot of off-topic posts in this forum of late. Each one garners two points if I turn those posts into infractions. 10 points in ten days gets a 15 day vacation. The topic here is: I keep reliving my affair...is this normal? The question asked is: Why? Why is this so hard?
skylarblue Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I don’t know your story, but I assume your break-up is fairly new. Your sadness is normal. Over time it will get less. It may take a long time, maybe longer than you expect, but it will help. However, time alone may not be sufficient. When you are ready, you have to take steps to “get over her” mentally. You will have to stop the grieving and pining, and redirect your thoughts and energy even if you don’t mean it. You sometimes just gotta fake it until you make it. Eventually, it will get easier. I once came across a question: “How long does it take to get over an AP?” Answer: “One day to a lifetime”. You may never get over the feelings you hold for her, but can get pass it where it doesn’t dominate your thoughts or cause you agony. Instead, it becomes a part of the collection of fond memories gathered over your lifetime that pop into your mind occasionally and leave a special feeling. 1
Silly_Girl Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Each day, thoughts of S run through my head...everything reminds me of her...I try to forget, but then I feel sad...I don't want to forget...I don't know of ill ever get over this. I keep reliving our time together, our love, everything...but trying to look forward..I tell myself to just get over it,but I can't... Why? This is so hard... Your affair was an extremely powerful experience. And there's a huge hangover from it because it's understandably leading you to question many things about yourself and your life. It's very important to fill your time and day. To interact with others as much as you can. A long time ago when I was in a similar position my counsellor recommended I get in to a 'thoughts routine'... That I actively push the thoughts and reminiscing away through the day, but then, for a specific period each day I allow it to wash over me. Maybe bathtime, or an evening walk or just lay listening to music. That I have the time I need and then I go back to being 'too busy' to think of it. It might not work for everyone but it helped me in a really, really painful period when my thoughts were scattered and confused and too focused on the love I'd lost. 1
Lostinlife4now Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Why is it so hard? Ahhhhhhhhhh Stoneman....I feel for you! What's that old saying....It is better to have loved than to never have loved at all! It will be hard for some time....I still find myself thinking of him. Even after 2 years..... Because you loved her!!!!! 1
Got it Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Stoneman, you are mourning the end of a very powerful relationship. Of course it is hard, of course you keep reliving moments. Be gentle with yourself and just take care. The waves come fast and furious at first but over time the seas get calmer and the sun does eventually come out. (((((Stoneman))))
Author Stoneman70 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 I couldn't sleep and decided to check this forum...thank you all for your thoughts of encouragement. The support here has really helped me.
Recommended Posts