freetolove Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 When/How did you realize you've found "the one". I've been both in love and lust and understand that THAT isn't always "the one". I've been using my head/logic to make relationships decisions but have to admit that I find it quite boring. Using my heart often leads to heartache. How did you know when you found the one (for long term success?)
quankanne Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 the relationship felt sure. I know, big cliché, but it's true. I didn't have the usual worries about "what if he thinks that? Should I do this? etc ..." it was if I was allowed ~ warts and all ~ to be who I am and it was okay. I didn't have to do anything to knock his socks off, but he still found me attractive. I wasn't thinking ahead to "oh, and we'll have kids and live in such and such place" ... no planning of the future, though I could see us living together in a nursing home when the time came. it just felt sure. and the love I have for him has been the solid foundation that has kept us together for two decades ~ we've been through some bad patches in our marriage, and I've questioned whether if staying married was the best thing for either of us, but that bedrock of love helped us through those periods. I never planned to be married because I had better things to do with my life (namely, set the world on fire as a professional journalist), and his proposal was completely unexpected. But you know what? It's the best thing I ever did, because it meant I put my faith in that sure feeling about us and made the leap. so ... as trite as it sounds, your heart will recognize your mate. There won't be bells or magical music or a heart-stopping moment, just a strong, steady feeling about this person that's not forced or cultivated ... you just recognize your mate :love:
AlisaMarie Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I loved the last response. So often do we want that hot spark and when we get it we think it's love. My past couple relationships I was constantly worried about what they thought and went way out of my way to make them happy. I was destroying and neglecting myself. A sure thing is what we fear so we live in the excitement of what we can't or shouldn't have, but we keep saying we want a sure thing. It's kind of crazy.
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