DuchessKaye Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 It's a nice gesture, but is it too much or is it cheesy? Men, would you do this to the women you are trying to woo? Would you guys do this to be remembered? Ladies, would this creep and seriously weird you out or would you think it's thoughtful, romantic and nice? Would anyone view this as expecting sex or anything? Would guys won't do it because it could mean your putting girls on pedestal? Personally, I don't mind getting flowers on first dates, I would love the gesture. Well, I'm not talking about $70 bouquet but a single rose, maybe? For me, it's not necessary but it's charming and it's sweet! Just my 2 cents!
persevere Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 While I would like to do something like that, I don't anymore. I just don't think many women appreciate gestures like this. Plus, you may come across as too nice and yeah, maybe a bit OTT. I'd wait until at least the second and most likely, the third date. I went out with an OLD gal once, who mentioned her bday was the next day. I had read in her profile she liked to read mysteries. So, I bought a book for her and gave it to her on our first date. She looked at me with total disgust when I gave it to her. More recently, I gave a gal a flower on our second date. Same thing. It was totally unappreciated. So, who knows what to do? Honestly?
Motherof3 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 No please, no flowers on first dates. I will feel uncomfortable. What will I do? Walk in the restaurants holding those flowers? That's embarassing.
grkBoy Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I think in the past, it's a wonderful gesture of a true gentleman. Unfortunately with today's social climate, many women feel uncomfortable about it now. I usually attach this to how many men and women don't know each other very well now on first dates.
oaks Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 So long as you realise that you've got to carry them around all evening! Generally I think it's too much, too soon, so I don't do it. I suppose it depends how much contact I've had with the person before the date. 1
nessaaa Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 yes a single flower is sweet and simple...and open the door for her. make her feel special:)
maybealone Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 No please, no flowers on first dates. I will feel uncomfortable. What will I do? Walk in the restaurants holding those flowers? That's embarassing. I think this is the issue. If I am not already friends with the guy, I am not having him come to my house to pick me up on a first date. And if I'm not home when I get the flowers, I would have to carry them around all night. I think flowers are a wonderful gesture, but should wait until the first time the guy picks me up at my house. That way I can put them in a vase before we go out. 1
Taramere Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I think flowers are a nice gesture for birthdays or special occasions....or if you're going round to somebody's house for dinner/want to buy them a little housewarming gift. I don't do the online dating thing, but if I did I'm not sure how I'd feel about the man bringing flowers along. To me, flowers given romantically are a token of appreciation from a man who has decided he really likes you. I wouldn't expect them from a stranger I was meeting for the first time, and I'd tend to assume that he must dish out flowers/gifts to women willy-nilly. Not that I don't like romantic and chivalrous men, but I've learned over the years that overtly romantic men are usually carrying a torch for about 50 different women...and that would probably be my first thought if a stranger I'd arranged a date with online turned up to meet me bearing an armful of flowers. 1
dasein Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 No, no man interested in successful dating should give flowers or gifts to women until a relationship is in place. It is often a counterproductive waste of money and supplicating unduly. 2
KathyM Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I would suggest you don't bring flowers or a gift to the first date, but if the date went well and you really hit it off, you could step it up a notch and send her flowers the next day with a little note. My husband did that after our first date. It was one of the things that set him apart from other guys I've dated. It was sweet, charming, and romantic. If the first date goes well, then do it. No gifts, though. That would be too much too soon. 1
FitChick Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 An exception would be a gift like: My friend met a guy through work (he worked for another company but occasionally came in for meetings). They casually chatted over a period of weeks. Eventually he asked her out to dinner where he gave her a toy Porsche. She had talked about buying a real one so thought it was funny but very thoughtful -- it showed he had actually listened. They dated for a year or so. Forget the cliches, forget the grand gestures. 3
rubberduck Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I always thought it was epically cheesy and made me cringe, but when my now H came to see me for the first time, he brought me a couple of gifts from a place near where he lived... but we'd already established that we were friends, and it was a big journey for him to come and meet me (we were chatting online first) so I guess it wasn't so much of a formal 'date', more of a 'lets meet and see where it goes' kind of thing So I think it's dependant on situation!
Sid6.7 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I myself have never done such a thing, and would never consider it. You are already getting suckered into paying for the date as it is. Eh, it's the price of admission for some guys I suppose.
Art_Critic Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I'm a bring flowers or chocolate kind of guy.. not every date but most of them I brought something.. even if it was a small stuffed animal of the same breed of her dog.. I can't ever remember it making a girl feel weird.. I will say though that I didn't bring anything if it was a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something like that.. 1
RedRobin Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 on first dates... no... way too personal and it appears ingratiating. after you've gotten to know him and you've shared your first evening of intimate love making... absolutely. soon followed by another evening (and so on and so on)... That's romantic...
johan Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I'll bring an abridged version of Mein Kampf or a coupon for a discounted puppy or bird at a neighborhood pet store. I have yet to have a woman not say thank you. 3
persevere Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) I'll bring an abridged version of Mein Kampf or a coupon for a discounted puppy or bird at a neighborhood pet store. I have yet to have a woman not say thank you. Mein Kampf? For some light reading? Edited May 27, 2012 by persevere
KikiSW Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Cheesy! I love flowers, but after we've been dating...not the first date
PrtyGrl81 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I think it can be sweet. I went out with a guy for the first time yesterday and he bought me a small box of chocolates because we had talked about how much I like chocolate. I thought it was sweet and nice that he remembered.
threebyfate Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Flowers are sweet, whether first date or anytime! 1
CarrieT Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 My current BF gave me a single flower coursage on our first date. Sealed the deal for me and I found it quite charming and old-world (but we ARE in our late 40s/early 50s so it worked on me). 2
threebyfate Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm a bring flowers or chocolate kind of guy.. not every date but most of them I brought something.. even if it was a small stuffed animal of the same breed of her dog.. I can't ever remember it making a girl feel weird.. I will say though that I didn't bring anything if it was a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something like that..You're a sweetheart! 1
johan Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I would bring flowers, bound together with a ball gag. 1
ScienceGal Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 No flowers on the first date. Maybe the second, to indicate he enjoyed the first date. Or anytime after that, preferably at a point when he's been welcomed into my home so that I can leave them in a vase and not carry them/leave them in the car.
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