momto3boys Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 My soon to be exhusband and i split in sept, kicked me out while pregnant. I moved 2 states away. He came up to meet our son after i had him and we reconciled. We stayed in a long distance marriage for a few months. He came up in Dec and things were great, left in Jan. He asked me to move back down with him i said no, in fear of him kicking me out again and my son had already switched schools and i did not want to switch him yet again. March 12th he ended things yet again. I went straight to Limited contact (since we have kids). He started randomly texting me and getting a long. Well after we started texting a bit, and he'd think about working things out, then he'd change his mind. He was very hot and cold. WELLLLLLLL..... i just found out a week ago that he has a girlfriend since March 18th. A few days after we split up. Ever since i found out about the girlfriend sh*t has hit the fan. Now he ignores me, acts annoyed by me. I blew up his phone for a while out of anger. I was angry because this whole time he said i needed to focus on going back to school, getting a good job and our kids and not focus on trying to find a boyfriend. He told me he was not planning on being with anyone for a long time. I had asked him a million times if there was someone else. He had sexted with me a few times and sent me naked pics while with her! I just didnt know. Eventually i stopped sexting and being nice and sending pics (before i even knew about the gf) because i did not wanna be just a booty call for him. I thought about emailing his gf and let her know he had been sending me naked pictures and sexting and thinking of getting back with me a few times but i didnt. It would make me look like a jealous exwife. I have since filed for divorce. I have acted like i do not care about the girlfriend (after the first day of screaming, crying and begging on the phone. Although i had blew up his phone a few times). I NEVER bash the girlfriend. Anyways, since finding out about the girlfriend, my ex isnt nice to me at all! He ignores me when i text him about our kids. He acts annoyed anytime he has anything to do with me or my kids. He says he's in love with her and has been out of love with me for a long time. She's only 18 or 19 and he is almost 25 with kids. Here's the thing...I do not understand we cant get a long even just talking about the kids now that i found out about the girlfriend. Is he hesitant to say or do anything in fear i may turn around and tell her? Is he pissed that im not mad he has a girlfriend? Is he mad he got caught? Im not sure how to take this. If anyone should be mad it should be me. Also, yesterday i texted him to tell him i wish we could get a long and be some what friends for our kids. He barely responded, did the usual that he does now and acts annoyed then ignores me the rest of the day. Anyways, out of the blue after HOURS of ignoring me he randomly texted me and asked how the pool was. Why ignore me for hours and then out of the blue ask me how the pool was? I ignored the comment and plan on going LC again. Any advice would help. I just want to understand what the heck is going on through his mind!
Philosoraptor Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 He likely met this new girl before you two split and it likely encouraged his choice. He is likely hurting, confused... and obviously rebounding. For now just do what is best for yourself which is taking care of your kids, getting the divorce complete, and working out child support and visitation rights.
Author momto3boys Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Thank you for the input. Im going to continue with the divorce. Always hurts being left for someone else.
Philosoraptor Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Thank you for the input. Im going to continue with the divorce. Always hurts being left for someone else. I wish you the best. Do whatever you can to continue to be a great mother to your children and give them a wonderful life.
CopingGal Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 My soon to be exhusband and i split in sept, kicked me out while pregnant. I moved 2 states away. He came up to meet our son after i had him and we reconciled. We stayed in a long distance marriage for a few months. He came up in Dec and things were great, left in Jan. He asked me to move back down with him i said no, in fear of him kicking me out again and my son had already switched schools and i did not want to switch him yet again. March 12th he ended things yet again. I went straight to Limited contact (since we have kids). He started randomly texting me and getting a long. Well after we started texting a bit, and he'd think about working things out, then he'd change his mind. He was very hot and cold. WELLLLLLLL..... i just found out a week ago that he has a girlfriend since March 18th. A few days after we split up. Ever since i found out about the girlfriend sh*t has hit the fan. Now he ignores me, acts annoyed by me. I blew up his phone for a while out of anger. I was angry because this whole time he said i needed to focus on going back to school, getting a good job and our kids and not focus on trying to find a boyfriend. He told me he was not planning on being with anyone for a long time. I had asked him a million times if there was someone else. He had sexted with me a few times and sent me naked pics while with her! I just didnt know. Eventually i stopped sexting and being nice and sending pics (before i even knew about the gf) because i did not wanna be just a booty call for him. I thought about emailing his gf and let her know he had been sending me naked pictures and sexting and thinking of getting back with me a few times but i didnt. It would make me look like a jealous exwife. I have since filed for divorce. I have acted like i do not care about the girlfriend (after the first day of screaming, crying and begging on the phone. Although i had blew up his phone a few times). I NEVER bash the girlfriend. Anyways, since finding out about the girlfriend, my ex isnt nice to me at all! He ignores me when i text him about our kids. He acts annoyed anytime he has anything to do with me or my kids. He says he's in love with her and has been out of love with me for a long time. She's only 18 or 19 and he is almost 25 with kids. Here's the thing...I do not understand we cant get a long even just talking about the kids now that i found out about the girlfriend. Is he hesitant to say or do anything in fear i may turn around and tell her? Is he pissed that im not mad he has a girlfriend? Is he mad he got caught? Im not sure how to take this. If anyone should be mad it should be me. Also, yesterday i texted him to tell him i wish we could get a long and be some what friends for our kids. He barely responded, did the usual that he does now and acts annoyed then ignores me the rest of the day. Anyways, out of the blue after HOURS of ignoring me he randomly texted me and asked how the pool was. Why ignore me for hours and then out of the blue ask me how the pool was? I ignored the comment and plan on going LC again. Any advice would help. I just want to understand what the heck is going on through his mind! Hi dear. Any man who would kick his pregnant wife out of the house is no man. I wonder why you would go back to soneone that did that to you. The fact that he did that tells me he is unreasonsable and you cannot expect any good treatment from him at all. Focus on your kids and have as limited contact with him as possible. Do what you can to get over him. He sounds like an awful person. 2
Author momto3boys Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 i dont want him back. Just wanted some input on why he has changed since i found out about the girlfriend.
Sugarkane Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Wow talk about pretty low kicking you out whole pregnant! And this 19 year old thinks she has a catch lol. I don't know why a 19 year old would want a older guy with kids. All you want to do at that age is have fun, not become a step mother to kids.
alexandria35 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 i dont want him back. Just wanted some input on why he has changed since i found out about the girlfriend. It's likely a defense mechanism. You weren't supposed to find out but you did and now you know what kind of creep he is. He doesn't like that, maybe it makes him feel a little ashamed, which he also doesn't like, so he projects his negative feelings about himself onto you. Stop talking to him about anything except the kids. Do not ask how's he doing or invite him to tell you about his life. Do not tell him about your life or how you are doing. Just cut him off and only discuss the kids with him and only when it's necessary. Let him stew in his own shame without having you handy to take his crap out on.
CopingGal Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I can't speak to why he would behave in the way he did. I'm just sorry he treated you so badly. I'm sorry, dear. I feel for you.
Author momto3boys Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Wow talk about pretty low kicking you out whole pregnant! And this 19 year old thinks she has a catch lol. I don't know why a 19 year old would want a older guy with kids. All you want to do at that age is have fun, not become a step mother to kids. well i am 28, he is almost 25. I am living in Maryland (i moved back home when he kicked me out) and they live in North Carolina so pretty much its like they get to have a normal relationship without dealing with his ex-wife and his kids because he isnt moving back up here, he is staying down there. Our kids were planned and now he is a dead beat dad.
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